I've been burned in the dating game a few times, is it wrong that I want to reject someone just to get a feeling of power?
Is it wrong to want to reject someone that asks you out just so you can feel a bit of empowerment?
What Girls Said 7
I actually did this but it wasn't to a guy who didn't deserve it. It was to a guy who was interested in me after I lost some weight after I had surgery. I had to have a giant cyst removed and I lost a lot of weight with it. I really liked this guy before that though and he wanted nothing to do with me. After the surgery he was suddenly interested but I made sure he knew he didn't have a chance with me. I felt good doing it. Although I do have to admit that it felt good after years of rejection. I've never really had a guy interested in me before. He's the first I believe. It was the first time in my life I rejected a guy and I did have that sense of empowerment that came with it. The funny thing is he absolutely hates me now. He acts like I did this awful thing.2
That's rather cruel.
Do you have even a ghost of a notion how much courage it takes to ask someone out? I've asked out two men (not simultaneously, of course), and both times I was terrified of being humiliated and of being rejected. Fortunately for me, though, both of them were very kind and tried to let me down as tactfully and gently as possible, which I am grateful for. I still see them around and they always smile and greet me without any awkwardness.
My point is, they are sincere, and they only said no because they both had girlfriends. Rejecting someone simple to "feel a bit of empowerment" is cruel and selfish. How would you feel is someone did that to you?0
You know what's the ultimate form of empowerment? Not giving your power away to other people.2
Only if they are a douche.0
not at all, i do that all the time. feels great.0
Yes, that's just mean. Think about how you felt.0
What Guys Said 14
I think it's rather petty and an indication of low self-esteem. In the past I have imagined doing it to girls who were cruel to me in their rejection or cold to me for no reason, but my real intention in doing that would be to feel a temporary ego boost. It's my own lack of self-esteem that makes me want to do that.
The best thing to do when someone has hurt you is to state the problem frankly. "I didn't care for the way you treated me. I think what you did was hurtful and mean-spirited." If someone does something spiteful, handling the problem honestly and straight-forwardly is the way to get over them without holding a grudge.
If you can't talk to a person who has hurt you, the best thing to do is to examine the problem directly and be realistic. You got rejected, so what? Does that mean the girl who rejected you hates you or wishes you harm? Probably not. Are you going to be alone forever? Probably not. The people out in the dating world have problems too. Everybody has problems.
Abusing someone by rejecting them purposelessly is a way of trying to mask the real issue, that some other person has hurt you and you haven't been able to get over it.0
Yes, it's wrong. You don't get empowerment from being liked by people or by having power over people. You get empowerment from leading a productive, flourishing life. You damage yourself if you reject someone simply to get a false sense of empowerment.2
Yes. It falls under "Cruelty without Reason".1
Only immature people do that. Situations where someone likes you but you don't feel the same can be awkward and sometimes difficult to handle without hurting the other person's feelings, but don't be a jackass and hurt them on purpose.0
Yes. That's messed up. It's a control game that isn't mentally healthy.1
Yes I think it's wrong. It's fucked up to treat other people in a way that you don't like being treated yourself. I think it would make you kind of a shit human being to do that to be honest.0
but what if you don't like her?0
Sounds a bit stupid to turn down potential poom poom but do whatever you wanna do! lol0
no, i don't think it is...0
Only reject people you don't have interest in to begin with. But always do it with kindness.0
It's probably not very healthy to think like that, but you don't owe anyone anything.0
you can reject people for any reason0
No if you just plain out reject her but Yes if you deliberately rubbed salt in that wound.0
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