Women being "extra choosy" about their partners... Why can't I seem to get a date?

I read articles on the internet about dating sometimes and how women tend to behave in choosing a guy. They all say, "women are extra careful about who they decide to date, or in picking a mate, blah blah blah..." or something like that, "they always look for the best guy."

I guess a lot of people aren't exactly mature at my age, but what's with all these high-quality, beautiful, smart, nice, girls dating, people who cheat on them, but they still stay with them... Or druggies, that love their drugs more than their girls, or whatever... Isn't that a HUGE turn-off?

I'm completely sober, mature, looking for, not what I would say is a "serious" relationship, but I'm looking for love, not sex, I won't cheat, nothing... I just want a good friend that I can fall in love with and just see what happens as time goes on. I want someone I can count on. I want to wait for marriage to have sex.

I don't even swear or anything... I try to be respectful. I'm not trying to advertise myself, but I just don't get how a guy like me can't get a date, if I actually do pursue someone, and make my feelings known.

I don't understand why these other guys with obvious problems tend to get dates easier. Yes I'm a bit shy, but I understand what love is and at times it scares me to get involved or being hurt.

But why the druggies and players? What do girls my age see in guys like that?

What can I do to actually get a date? Will I have to wait a while for people to grow up a little?

It's a trend I've noticed, in my high school and I'm sure it applies other places... A lot of great girls dating real "winners" and these articles say that women are EXTRA careful in choosing their best partner. That doesn't seem true at least in my age group.

Any thoughts or advice?

Thanks


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What Girls Said 1

  • If you flat out said to a girl what you just said about what you're looking for then girls would swoon. lol. From what you describe yourself as, that's what a lot of girls fall for. Just state your intentions as they are. You seem to be a guy that I would definitely actually like, just because 1. there's no pressure for physical stuff and 2. you want to be friends first.

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    • Yes... but can you ever state too much too soon? Like if you put yourself out there too much, its like there's nothing to work for anymore in the relationship...

      I personally don't agree with this, its something I've heard. But to me, its either you enjoy someone's company or you don't... I'm the kind of guy that wants to make sure the girl knows how I feel about her, she doesn't have to wonder... I don't play those silly games, because to me, love is not a game.

What Guys Said 1

  • It's cliche and annoying to hear but things will just happen. The times when I really tried to get a date or go for a girl, it usually has a low percentage of success and usually ends up in a big waste of time.

    What I have noticed is that all the girls whom I have gotten a chance to date or be with, really didn't take a lot of work on my end as far as meeting them. They actually did all the work. You'll notice her asking you questions and sticking around longer than the normal female. Like you've read, women take much better care in detail and if you just walk the earth, they will see you and like you. Doesn't take a stupid pick up line or back flip, as soon as they see you, they know whether or not they'll f*** you.

    The best way to meet a girl is to not looking for it and just continue to do what you like to do and people will flock to you if it's right.

    As far as the high school nice guy speech of "i'm very mature for my age, I treat women with respect, kindness and integrity, why am I not getting laid?"

    "Yes I'm a bit shy, but I understand what love is and at times it scares me to get involved or being hurt."

    You are shy (boom 80% of your problem): just stop caring about being rejected and your getting laid chances will increase. Stop caring about what people think of you.

    The "i want love feelings", just focus on having Fun I don't know how much happier people would be and less relationships based on lonliness rather than compatability if people would stop being desperate to hump the first wet spot they see.

    high school relationships: "Teenagers don't have 'relationships'!

    They f***, they cover themselves with too much perfume, the squirt hormones all over the place, and they mope about listening to depressing music - but they don't have 'relationships'!

    Teenagers are a savage race that make the countries of Eastern Europe look civilized. The closest any teenager can come to Sapience is by finding a mentor or an apprenticeship and doing exactly what they're told, while keeping their idiotic drama to themselves. Go watch The Sopranos Season Six and ask yourself - how cool is AJ for buying $300 of champagne at the club, when he doesn't even have a job? High School students should be publically caned once a month, just to put everything in perspective for them." - Ironman

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    • I'm in college now... But I just graduated, so I'm going off of high school.

      I just don't understand why so many girls are dating, these druggies kids mostly... I couldn't deal with dating a girl who smokes or is on drugs, I wouldn't even give it a second thought, but why is it ok for guys to do it, with girls. I don't understand.

      Also to me, its not about getting laid, I want to wait till marriage. I just want a relationship with a girl that I can fall in love with.

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