Is touching considered cheating?

I've been best friend with this guy for 3 years and he has had a crush on me the entire time. During the summer when I was single, I liked him back but we never acted on it. Now I'be been in a relationship with somebody else whom I love for 3 months.
Today, my best friend came over to my house and things got a little strange. We were testing each others boundaries by touching outside the clothes to see who felt nervous first.
I love him but I also love my boyfriend and I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I also feel guilty about what I did. Is this considered cheating? We never kissed or held hands or anything, just some over the clothes touching.

  • Yes, it's cheating
    83% (19)82% (14)82% (33)Vote
  • No, you don't need to say anything
    17% (4)18% (3)18% (7)Vote
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Updates:
My boyfriend has also been gone for 3 weeks so I've felt really lonely and depressed

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It's not technically cheating, but if you're toying with the idea of cheating (which is what you're doing), then by intention the act has already be done.

    Ask yourself what would someone faithful have done instead? She wouldn't have done any of this at all, and maintained her own personal boundary space.

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What Guys Said 11

  • It depends on the type of touch, and it depends on the intent of the touch.

    Without even knowing *where* you touched this guy, I would say that it already sounds like a type of cheating to me.

    Pick one or the other (or perhaps neither?) and move forward.

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  • Id consider it cheating, and you should be ashamed...
    The worst part is you loving your best friend at the same time as you love your boyfriend!

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  • I think its ok. its not much different if u had a friend come ova to give u a cuddle or spoon cos ur lonely

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  • "and he has had a crush on me the entire time."

    You're feeding him that's why he's around. THIS is cheating. There is always a possibility.

    Look, if I whould've been you're BF, I would've given you 2 choices -- him (the clingy guy) or me.

    And I bet I'll loose cause I don't compromise but cause clingy guys are looser and have a habit of compromising and adjusting, they got no problem when their GFs get fucked by strangers.

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  • Its cheating because its not just the touching but the fact that you established an emotional connection with this your friend. You need to be honest with your bf if want you both to stand a chance. Talk to him about feeling lonely and depressed when his gone and maybe you guys can walk things out from there

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  • its not the act its the intention that is considered cheating...

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  • Yes, I think it's cheating. Because even if nothing happened, it could have led to something happening.

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  • Depends on the couple.

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  • Technically, no! But yiur thoughts were leaning more towards cheating. Yiu never know what could the simple testing lead to. So clear your mind as to what's what! And act accordingly!!

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  • On like your boobs or like his groin area? If that's where you guys were touching than If I was your boy I'd be a little upset with you and if you really like this guy like you say you need to spend a little less time with this boy and more time with your boyfriend.

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  • Yes its cheating of course

    Dont look at cheating as only a physical act and the severity of it... Look at cheating as you emotionally felt something there and ran with it, You tested how you felt. It's surely physical and emotional cheating, yes

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What Girls Said 8

  • That's definitely cheating. Boyfriend being gone or not, is no excuse.

    I'll put it this way. If you can't or wouldn't do the act in question in front of your mom or grandma (assuming it's not an incestuous family), then it's cheating and don't do it behind your partner's back. So no sending nudes, no trying to get with others, no touching, no kissing, no lapdances, no dancing all provocatively, no bumping or grinding (RKelly was wrong, there IS something wrong with a little bump n grind), no oral, no anal, nothing like that.

    You're cheating. And leading the poor guy on. And worse, being unfaithful to your bf. This is something sociopaths do. And selfish narcissists do. Get your shit together Chiquita Banana. Make up your damn mind. You want your friend or your bf? Unless they're cool with it, you can't have both and what you're doing is wrong.

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  • sorry but yeah its cheating

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  • I think anything you feel guilty over is considered cheating... come clean with your boyfriend and tell him that nothing happened.

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  • "My boyfriend has also been gone for 3 weeks so I've felt really lonely and depressed"
    Just this means that you were looking for something in that touch, even if it doesn't have to be something dirty. I would've thought it was cheating, but he might have different boundaries.

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  • I guess I pretty much agree with annonymous! (24-34) since you feel guilty about it. Shows some sort of emotional cheating in a way. But yeah depends if he doesn't care about that. If he don't then its all good.

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  • Typically if you have to ask if it's cheating then it is.

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  • To me, it would be considered cheating.

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  • I would consider it cheating.

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