Is this red flag behavior?

I met a guy yesterday went on a dinner date with him and came back to my place to hang out. He said he'd stay as long as I wanted him to. Around 12 I figured I should get to bed. He was acting a little weird too. When he left he texted me saying he wanted to come back inside and kiss me and to let him back inside. He then seemed mad when I didn't respond and said "you're ignoring me now huh?" It had been five or ten mins and he was still asking to come back inside. I was a little creeped out. Today he texts me sayijg he's sorry if he upset me. Then he said well I'm not sorry we are having dinner today and then I'll come back to your place again and well watch a movie.

I told him yesterday him demanding a kiss from me seemed a bit possessive. Now he's saying we are having dinner without even asking me. Is he scary

Updates:
Holy shlt. I have to post this. This is what he wrote when I said I have somethjng to do today.

OK go help with your spiritual stuff for new years yes if not tonight you will be seeing me again. Contact me as soon as you know what is going on tonight and I will let you know what we are doing.
What he said when we didn't meet up I had other plans and then he responded.

You owe me I'm coming over tomorrow no exceptions what time do you get off work?

I said owe u? U barely even know me
I'm busy tomorrow.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm going to be blunt and serious with you.

    He wants sex. By his actions, I can tell that if you don't give him what he wants, he'll take it from you anyway. Possibly with life threatening violence. He's already shown he wants to har power and control over you, who knows how far he'll go...

    I would immediately call the police and try to find somewhere safe to be. You should probably consider moving from your current residence in the near future, he knows where you live.

    Men like him are persistent.

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    • This could be true thanks yes he's crazy. And yes he wants power n control in a very deviant way. This guy is weird or he could be putting up a front of being this way because he thinks I've been abused in the past and might like this or respond to it. Who knows. He def seems a bit unpredictable. He seems to have backed down now when I questioned him but who really knows. Just a creepy weird person

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    • "just a creepy weird person".

      With all due respect ma'am that is an understatement. He legitimately sounds like a rapist or a murderer. This isn't "red flag" behavior this is "black flag" behavior. He could threaten your life.

    • Me: Are u going to answer dude. Why do u feel I owe you and that u can just come over. U do know that's intrusive

      Him: I'm here took a shower and left my phone in the living room calm down

      Me: What? I'd just like to know why ur saying you'll be doing things with me without asking. U don't even know me so what's goijg on

      Him: Forget it you tell me then when your available

      Me: Ok I won't be free for another five days I think

What Guys Said 16

  • Yeah he is scary. Mega possessive, forceful, intrusive.. even gettin' the implication of a potential rapist, that he demanded you let him back in n' all. I think you should not get involved with this guy.

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    • Yes omg. This is scary. He could be mentally Ill crap. Good thing he drives a crappy
      Scooter type thing. I doubt he can stalk me

  • No, let me ask you. How do you not perceive this as this being VERY aggressive and possessive?

    Reminds me of this chick i once went out with (one fucking date). She showed up at my door the when my phone died for an hour. I never even told where i lived... wtf man!

    I wouldn't be surprised if this dude got violent.

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  • Not a red flag, a psycho flag most likely.

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  • Especially him already trying to take control of you is bad.
    Cut it off now you still can, it will be a struggle getting him to give up though.

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  • Yes very scary, he sounds majorly odd and you are so stupid for inviting a stranger into your home on the first date. Next time engage your thinking cap on before inviting someone to come back to your place to hang out.

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    • I'm not stupid and i am
      Cautious. He owns a business and he seemed pretty nice and normal. He is acting strange now and I don't think he's dangerous yet but cud be if I continue this engagement.

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    • I never initially insulted you, that was you who took it upon yourself to consider what I said to mean I was branding you stupid. I never directly nor indirectly called you stupid. I said engage your thinking cap next time. Now because someone has a different view to you, you don't like it and have proceeded to get rather aggressive, insulting and petulant which is rather risible considering I have remained cool, calm and collected and apparently it is me who needs to grow up. I will leave this thread because people like you are unable to accept a difference of opinion and if you believe inviting strangers into your home on the first date is intelligent behaviour then that's your call. I just hope for your sake that nothing happens to you.

    • Daft as a brush. Ur an angry bitter loser who needs to come online to take ur anger out on others. Try therapy u low life. Psycho too
      Get a punching bag u nitwit retard moron.

  • Big red flag watch out for him. Could hurt you (emotionally or, hopefully not, physically in the future)

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    • Yeah I'm starting to think he may have some major issues or closet mental illness. Who knows. But it seems a bit scary

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    • Yes I def plan to. I just told him to hold on I may have something to do. He responded with "be quick about it". Err. I'm weary about rejecting him flat out right now. Scared to. Who knows how he will react.

    • If it becomes serious, ask someone close by that you trust to help you

  • You tell us.

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  • Tell hmm to fuck off and go masturbate it will build his self confidence and also tell him your friend Spencer from Texas will castrate him with his pistol!

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    • lol.. yeah that might boost his confidence for sure.. i'm just keeping him at a distance for now and monitoring his stupidity

    • Do what I said it will be funny

  • Sound like he was expecting sex, you met him yesterday, so he might not had shown you these red flags. I would cut him from your life, he is clinging and has issues

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    • Yes totally. That's true and a good point. I think he was hence why he suggested we go to his or my place. Since he didn't get what he wanted now he's trying again as he failed and his ego is hurt. Forgot about that. He did seem distraught unstable acting stalkerish and frustrated. If he doesn't get what he wants round two who knows what will happen.

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    • yes... that's what i assumed today i figured, the 'sociopath' frined he was talking about, was himself most likely because the way he was talking about diagnosis being weird and not accurate, had me realize he has been diagnosed, but many people have in general. He just comes across as normal, even has a business where he makes hot sauces, and he seemed normal.. on the surface right away... he seemed very non threatening too, but of course the bizarre behavior shows up right away, and it usually does.. esp in this case where he didn't get what he wanted or was hoping for. most guys like listening to stories i tell of 'other crazy or weird guys' but it seems when they dont get what they want they get crazy too... yes him dictating what is going to happen is just so weird.. hopefully he'll give up and move on.. who really knows wtf is going on with this nutcase. This is just so bizarre..

    • I can't say it's bizarre anymore, the more I grow up I hear more and more, and even meet these crazy guys. You can never really know a person till you see them for who they really are.

  • You let a guy over your house that fast? Bad move, ask some of your friends to stay over, he sounds scary.

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  • Sounds like a psychopath.

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    • Yes now I'm starting to think he's the psychopath type who sounds intelligent and normal. He even said his friend is a sociopath and one of the narc traits he exhibited himself. Lots of guys today are like this but he might be a little more on the messed up undiagnosed side. Who knows maybe his sociopath friend he was talking about was reslly him

  • I'd stay away from this guy!

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  • yeah id say thats major red flag territory

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  • ... Yeah, serious red flag behavior.

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  • He doesn't sound good. Creepy in fact

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    • He's crazy creepy alright

    • Fuck him! I mean, fuck him as in forget about him. Not fuck him as in have sex with him

    • No I think I'm actually going to fuck him. Jk
      Yes no he's a creepy weird who knows what reslly

  • ⛳⛳⛳⛳ call the 🚓🚓🚓 and carry a 🔫🔫🔫
    ⛄⛄⛄ merry Christmas!❄❄❄❄

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What Girls Said 10

  • Yeah, definitely. Waaaayyy too dominant, in a super creepy way. Sounds like he's trying to corner you or something. I would tell him that it won't work out and then end things right then and there.

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    • I agree. He's pretty disturbing in a reslly scary way and yes trying to corner me who knows what

  • He seems creepy weird. You definitely gave some red flags. He also seems demanding and you guys aren't even together... that's a bad sign

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  • Yeaaa, he seems a little cray cray. I wouldn't have even let him know where I live. Its people like him who turn into stalkers. Beware and abort!

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    • Yes I agree. He def seems like he is on his way to a certified stalker. From what he showed

  • Crazy crazy crazy!! Tell him to get lost and don't worry about hurting his feelings!! Good luck

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    • I know. I'm not worried about his feelings I'm worried he's just damn crazy. He did seem and sound pretty normal though. Not sure wtf is going on now.

  • Too dominant. Red flag all the way.

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  • "you owe me"

    this guy is messed, get away from him asap

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  • Yep! I see an unsolved mystery case. I would never invite someone who I didn't know well into my home. I don't care what they say or do. Seen too many cases on tv and heard too many stories on news. This world has too many nut cases to just put faith in people blindly. I would stop all contact. Get a guy friend to stay with you for a bit or male family member and don't be afraid to get restraining order if needs be.

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  • Yes it seems red flag material. I would tell him to get lost. You're not even in a relationship with him yet and he's try to control you. He seems possessive.

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  • He scares you and makes you uncomfortable this itself is enough to end things right now. Placing yourself in a position where you will be alone with a someone who can physically overpower you, already scares you and where you already feel you are being pressured would be a bad move. Cancel dinner. Do not see him again.

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    • I don't plan to. He is actually skinny and on the short and physically he doesn't seem threatening but tht doesn't mean he isn't. But yes he is definitely going to be on the won't see again list if he can handle that. I think maybe he's been through some rejection and bad sfuff and I caught him at a bad time. He isn't gonna be rejected anymore now. But yes that's true

  • I think you should pull the plug on this one. One date and he's possessive of what he thinks he owns. Call the police and let them know about him.

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