Do men have to avoid being too romantic to keep a woman interested?

Ok for what it's worth, I would love to be convinced that there is no such thing as being too romantic.

Girls often complain about a lack of romance in their relationships however they continue to be with these men.

Also, I have heard plenty of stories from guys with far more relationship experience than me that being too romantic means a woman won't see a challenge and that some will break it off cos they think they don't deserve that treatment.

So what I want to know is should I occasionally hold off on romance and do things like display a lack of interest, text not call and text late in order to maintain a woman's attraction. Or is there no such thing as too romantic?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The only real time when being "too romantic" is an issue is when guys do too much too soon. Some guys come off too strong, and it will scare a girl away. Be careful not to seem like you're doing too much right away. Also, don't ignore her or anything and be careful about playing hard to get. However, if you sometimes take 20 or so minutes to reply to a text you keep her interest and it still seems like she's also trying to win you over. Just be careful not to do too much so that she really thinks you're playing games and aren't serious about her because that will turn her away.

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    • So when would I know when to step up wrt romance? Do I wait for her to lead the way.

      And is it really fair to do that thing with the texts? It seem manipulative to me and a little unfair. I like the idea of making time for her.

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    • Maybe. I wouldn't really know. XD

      It just seems so much pressure. Two people basically analysing the other. No wonder it's so messed up. I prefer the simplicity and comfort you see in relationships.

    • Well in order to be in a relationship you need to date and get to know each other! But yeah relationships are better in my opinion. Both have pros and cons!

What Girls Said 3

  • I honestly think if the girl likes you as much as you like ther then being overly romantic will be everything she ever wanted, but as always everyone is different, There's no shame in taking a chance to find out though ^-^

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  • Keep her guessing, but surprise her once in a while with something sweet, sexy, or fun.

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  • Nah, but the level of intensity needs to match the length and seriousness of the relationship. Guys go wrong by doing too much, too soon. Then she feels pressured to commit to more than she feels sure about.

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    • So it's just a matter of timing?

    • Yeah, mostly. When it comes to progressing in a relationship, neither side likes to feel pressured or trapped. Some guys throw out too much and the girl feels like he's not giving her space to decide what she thinks and feels.

What Guys Said 3

  • I think many romantic guys do the mistake of "too much too soon" and scares away the girl.

    Being romantic can also be perceived as sucking up to the girl and that's not really attractive. You can't be a submissive pushover and claim that it's how romance is. Doing small but thoughtful things usually trump the grandiose gestures. Buying a hundred roses to someone you've pretty much just met can be creepy but doing the same thing to the woman you've been married/dated for the last 5-10 years would be romantic, for example.

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  • There is a difference between "Romance" and "Emotional Incompetence."

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  • girls are gluttons for punishment... Casually dismiss her notions of romance... Treat her with cool regard up until the point that she shows signs of being upset, then reward their patience with a rationed amount of romance... Jerks use this Pavlovian method to train their girlfriend's emotional reactions... needless to say, this method doesn't work on super clever intelligent girls... But then again, girls like these are never very keen on romance anyway

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