How do you just ignore a woman's looks and date a woman solely for her personality?

I feel that I have bad luck with women because I only try to get at the ones I find at least moderately attractive in looks. It turns out of most of them have boyfriends, lie about having one, or are just uninterested. It's sad that my hormones are getting in the way of finding a woman that isn't very physically attractive, but have a great personality. Most importantly, I miss my opportunities at women who actually smile at me and say hi to me! Instead I go for the ones that seem to feel whatever about me.


0|0
8|7

Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think it's fair to the girl to do that :(
    That's actually, really, really hurtful. In fact, most girls are self conscious as is. And if she's physically unattractive, her self esteem will most likely plummet :(
    We know we shouldn't place so much value on looks, but women get judged harshly on it. So do men. So to have a partner and to find out they don't find you physically or sexually attractive, that'll just be a self esteem killer right there. We want to be desired by our partners, fully. Not just looks, not just personality, but we want you men to desire us completely.

    There are plenty of women who have good personality and good looks.

    1|0
    0|0
    • "There are plenty of women who have good personality and good looks." Yeah, but are they single? Aha.

    • Show All
    • I know, you said it yourself. It's hard to find a woman that's good looking. That's why I just don't want to consider fairly good looking to really good looking girls altogether. Women that are less attractive tend to be single more often. They are nicer. They put themselves out there more often.

    • agreed. everyone single is fugly

What Girls Said 7

  • From a girl who often gets whoever she wants, honestly, the attractive guys are fun for a night, but only the normal looking ones are worth keeping around. Remember, you can always have sex in the dark.

    2|0
    0|0
    • The thing is, I want to have real sex with a woman for once.

    • Okay never mind. I see what you mean by having sex in the dark now. Well, I guess that is my very last resort. However, I don't know how my future not physically attractive partner will feel about that.

  • When I date a girl, I date her because
    1) She's attractive (a must)
    2) We have things in common

    0|0
    0|0
  • You kinda can't although their is online dating and in some places they have bag dating where you meet singles who wear bags on their head.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You can't ignore them you just have to find the good parts

    0|0
    0|0
  • You don't. Just keep looking for a woman you're attracted to. I find it hard to believe that you can't find one woman who is both physically attractive and has a good personality. Besides, people might take this the wrong way but I doubt many physically unattractive girls have good personalities. They've likely had people bully them for their looks, they've been ignored by guys, and so most are probably alone. They probably feel bitter with the world. Based on my own observations, I've noticed ugly girls are usually the most bitter. I am big believer that your environment growing up shapes your personality. Pretty girls get praised a lot, so they're happier and more confident so they are much nicer. Ugly girls didn't get that so they're bitter, and insecure.

    0|1
    0|0
    • At least "ugly" women are single. I mean that's one positive trait.

    • Yeah but how do you know if she's a good person or not? You can go for them, but it wouldn't make sense if you're not attracted. Once you get to know her, you'll probably find that she isn't nice.

  • I'm dealing with the same. There are some guys out there that are just gorgeous. I'm pretty attractive myself, but the guy I'm seeing is below my league some would say in the looks department. I'd say I'm a strong 8 on good days and he's a 5 or 6. My ex is way more attractive, muscular... but has a shit personality.
    This guy, well, he's like my twin flame. We share a connection like no other. As time passes and I fall for his inner workings more and more, he actually looks more physically attractive to me.
    You just have to give people a chance sometimes.

    2|0
    0|0
  • It can help if you have a place to get to know people a little better, because then you have more than one chance to see them look good. Also, work on the things you think hold you back - weight, style, social nervousness. Third, don't Rush it. Plenty of people out there to find sexy. It's a numbers game finding the right one.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 7

  • You realize that her looks will fade in time, and that basing your relationship on that is like trying to build a home on a sinking ship.

    Take a step back and understand that what makes her feminine, what makes her a woman, her true beauty, her femininity is not in her face, but in her heart. It is her loyalty to you, her devotion to you, her love that is going to make you smile when you think about it, when you are away from her.

    If her heart is devoted to you, she will make you the most happy man in the world. But you have to accept that. You have to value her heart, cherish it, love it, hold it in the highest esteem.

    Just remember that supermodels go through boyfriends, same as movie stars. Husbands, too. Beauty is often the prerequisite for a bitter heart. And a bitter heart is never worth a pretty face. An ugly heart will make you miserable, though she is beautiful on the outside.

    0|0
    0|0
  • You can't. As shallow as it seems, look ARE important when determining if you could date someone. That's for everyone. Now, you shouldn't solely base someone's worth on their looks, but they do need to be given some weight just like personality. If you date someone who's personality you love but looks you despise, the relationship WILL fail.

    Just keep throwing mud at the wall, eventually some of it will stick. That's how dating is. Trying over and over with different ownen until one sticks.

    0|1
    0|0
  • Well I don't believe in the "if she's attractive then her personality sucks" thing. That's bullshit to me. Why not find a girl that's a attractive to you? Makes no sense to not do that.

    2|0
    0|0
    • If a woman is attractive (enough) and have a great personality, they are taken already.

    • Show All
    • Well... What about you?

    • No. (fill)

  • You basically want to know how to tolerate dating someone you think is ugly. Not fare to the gal when in that mindset, but I understand your struggle. Are you looking for a relationship, or just trying to get laid? Because neither is that difficult, but both require a different approach.

    0|0
    0|0
    • Relationship. The struggle is real man!

    • Show All
    • Well not a horn dog... But more like I instantly feel like I want to go talk to her, even though I know it's not a good idea since most likely she has a boyfriend or she probably is too picky to give me the time of day.

    • What's with the preconceived notions of rejection? I'm sure you show that self doubt when approaching a girl. You can't talk to a girl like it's a job interview and hope for her approval. That's allows her to step back and go into "ok, lets see what you have to offer" mode. Especially if it's a girl who has guys hitting on her constantly.

  • You will when you get to know her better. Then she's cute no matter what she does. I think dating solely on personality is impossible though. 'Looks don't matter' is a lie. I'm pretty sure unless you're a mind reader then looks play a huge role. At least initially. I mean... it's what makes guys approach girls in the first place.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i wish i could mold this into my mindset

    0|0
    0|0
  • I can't. I am good looking and shallow to a point.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...