How long should you make a guy wait before sex?

Basically I'm starting to see this guy and I was wondering what the appropriate amount of time before having sex with the guy would be. I'm a virgin, so I'm a bit worried he is just using me.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Making a guy wait" might not be the right approach. It suggests denial, and also using sexuality as a weapon!

    In my view, the question really is: when will you be ready for it?

    My own approach to sex was: only after marriage.

    So, in the year that we were readying for marriage (decided 8-9 months before that), I made my stand clear. This way there were no expectations or disappointments. It was acceptable to her too. Closer to the actual wedding, we did do some heavy petting stuff. But no sex (not even oral or anal).

    I guess if my stand had been something else, then it would have to be mutually negotiated.

    The thing you have to be careful of, is getting carried away by your emotions. One night, she was really charged and absolutely in the mood for sex. (This, I feel, also has something to do with the phase of a woman's cycle that she's in.) She was goading me all the way, making it thoroughly obvious that she was absolutely enjoying it, and I just had to remove our clothes, to get into her pants. Given my strong views on this, I didn't. And I'm glad to. For both, a girl and a guy there can be many complications. For a girl it's the pregnancies, or the frustration she feels on "being used". For a guy it could be a charge as serious as rape or sexual assault... who would know the back story (that she wanted sex that night)?

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What Guys Said 3

  • until you're 18, MINIMUM! Before that you two are not mature enough to take full responsibility for it.

    Beside that, practice the 4 month rule. Minimum wait 4 months after you became official.
    And ALWAYS wait unti lyou feel 100% sure you're ready.

    If he's getting pushy with sex early on, dump him. He's a player.

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  • When you're ready. It should never feel forced.

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  • You need to decide that timeframe for yourself. Especially since it would be giving up your virginity.

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What Girls Said 4

  • If you're a virgin you should only do it once you are ready and you trust the guy. Sounds like he maybe isn't the right guy to loose it to if you think he is using you.

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  • Until you feel that you are ready. If he leaves before then he doesn't deserve you. He should be willing to wait as long as he needs to. That's more time to get to know each other.

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  • If you are scared he might be using, then never. You don't know him well enough.

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  • At least a year.

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