My male friends make me not able to trust guys anymore.

I have some male friends and they come appear to be the most amazing boyfriends ever, they support and provide for their girls in every way possible but behind their backs they talk shit about them and cheat emotionally some even physically and their girls think they have the perfect man. I don't support this and I have lost faith in the male race because of this. I have had guys in the past tell me things like personal things their girl does and I'm even like "how can you tell me that" cos i would be pissed if my man done that. They even say they love two people at the same time etc it's just too much. It's like the secret life of some men and now I have trust issues and scared to get in deep with any guy. Do you have any advice for me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a lot of guy friends myself and I'll admit being one of the boys puts me in the position of hearing some things I find less than attractive about men and probably would bother me if I knew a boyfriend was saying it about me.
    But here's the thing- when I'm with my girl friends, we can say some rather rude things about men and vent about our boyfriends too. You go to your girls to bitch with the understanding that it's not going to be repeated and that you don't necessarily feel that way all the time about your guy, you just need to blow off steam now and again. And we talk about sex and our boyfriends in ways I certainly would never do in mixed company.
    I figure when I'm with the guys and they vent about their girlfriends or relate sexual conquests, it's just them blowing off steam. I always say I just don't want to know about it or be present if a guy I'm dating feels the need for story time- just like he'd probably be mortified if he was around for girl talk...

    The cheating, well, that's a different story altogether. I can understand you losing faith in men over that.

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    • I totally agree with what you're saying but when a dude sits down and have his bitch time with another female that's slightly different especially if the other female isn't like me or you to put him straight. I have herd guys bitch about their girl to other girls and that female is like making herself look without fault and dude is like "why can't my girl be like you" things like they annoy me

    • Some guys get played so easily by other females and they don't even know it, they can be easily manipulated

What Guys Said 13

  • Are you just going to avoid having any sort of love life until you die, just to avoid the risk of being hurt?

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  • Learn the fact that men are assholes. They always look for better women, ass, boobs etc. When they Then get it, theyre Like: cool, now thats done lets move on. So the only Way Really is to find a guy who Would do every fucking Thing for you, and wouldn't Leave your side. Found at an IT store

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    • I'm sorry but it's post like this one that make me wish they sectioned off the minors into their own GAG section. Utter waffle.

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    • Well Im glad you enjoyed it. Good luck :)

    • Thanks hun

  • i guess your guys friends are not good girlfriends then

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  • In order to find love... you're going to have to risk getting hurt. We all have to do the same.

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    • I know I just don't fancy giving myself who lily to someone who wants to share their heart with me and other women

    • Nobody does of course. Are u going to live your life completely risk adverse and never get anything awesome? :-P

    • Oooo hell no haha. Two women down rated you for this.. Wonder why that is?

  • I'm not gonna lie to you those feelings you feel are not easy to overcome, you can't really force yourself to trust again. All you can really hope for is to meet better males in the future.

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  • It's human nature, women do the same thing.

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    • I don't

    • I don't do what you describe either. But I have female friends, who do. It's not just gender specific. You either overcome or never trust again.

    • I know babe but you have seen a different perspective from the female side.. It's just not easy you know

  • Find a better class of guys.

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    • I know so many different types of guys. Froms sports I played, from school, uni, work etc and they all seem to have some inappropriate relationship with another female to some degree

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    • This may seem inflammatory but its not, maybe the other one needs to pay attention to her love interest even closer. I certainly wouldn't be the best at that and there is a fine line between that and smothering him but that would help. And women seem to be better at that than guys.

    • Well I think these days gender differences in lots not things are irrelevant but you're obvi giving me your male perspective which is cool

  • The sad truth is... Most men are lik dat
    Now give me dat fucking MHO !!! Thank you x)

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  • "Cheat emotionally"?

    I'm sorry, but there is no such thing as "emotionally cheating."

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  • Get new male friends...

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    • I have different male friends from different walks of life. Even guys whom iv worked with in the past have some inappropriate shit going on. It's weird

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    • I think your concerns are valid one's but for every one of the guys you've mentioned there's a guy who isn't like that, you just have to find him which is easier said than done.

    • I like the way you put that- very logical statement. Thanks

  • Yes there are many dirty men out there that look really clean from the outside. Ironically, most of them have the alpha male characteristics that women desire so much. By evolution, the objective of an alpha male is to mate with as many women as possible so you can guess why this is so...

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  • Huh. Want to guess how much men trust women? Read through this and get a clue
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1275688-when-women-think-a-man-has-better-things-to-do-than-to-think-about

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    • That's not all men tho. The person commenting on that post seemed hard done by and angry toward women.

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    • The only thing borderline is your personality. Maybe that's the reason for you logical inconsistency. Get that treated and maybe you'll start trusting men.

    • Thanks for your advice lol

  • 1. Male isn't a race, it's a gender.
    2. Creating an opinion on all guys from just the ones you know is ignorant.
    3. For advice I'd suggest looking elsewhere for a truly good guy or perhaps look online. Not for a relationship, but just message some guys or talk to them and see how nice they can be. Just be prepared for the nasty ones too.

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    • Im sorry if I seemed to speak in general terms as I meant some guys not all but as stated to someone else. I have loads of different types of males friends who in one way or another have some inappropriate relationship with a female friend. Not necessarily physical but emotional to some degree

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    • Best of luck! :)

    • Thank you 😊

What Girls Said 3

  • Wow. You have the opportunity to peer into the world of men! Pretty revealing. I don't think that all men are like that however. At least I hope not. And I think that sometimes we can be as two faced as the guys you are talking about.

    That being said, I think there are good and trusting people out there. both guys and girls, people who wouldn't cheat on their their SOs either emotionally or physically. The task remains that you find one you can trust, I am always optimistic though, and I truly believe that there are more good guys out there than there are bad ones. So don't be scared trying. Just do it with your eyes wide open, girl. Good luck!

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    • Thanks, I know what you mean, I'm not that way inclined and once I'm with someone I am dedicated to that person but these guys seem to do it all differently. Even some guys I have spoken to have admitted they would sleep with their females friends or at least pursue a relationship with them. Some even have secret friendships behind their SO back as they wouldn't approve of certain connections. I just wish I didn't have this insight. I played sports with guys for a couple years and some of the conversations that happen. They are totally different around their girlfriends. One guy even said that it his SO didn't get pregant he would have left her by now but she thinks he is the happiest guy in the world. Truth is, female friends provide your man with something you can't

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    • Positive outlook, thanks x

    • @Asker Uh-huh, I thought so about the mf 'friendships'. LOL, your posts have good info.

  • Oh wow, I'm surprised they're so honest with you! Anyway, thanks for being honest in your OP because a lot of people try to pretend what you've said about your male friends isn't true... But I always thought so! Not that I think all men are bad by a long shot, but I knew they could be just as 'bitchy' and 'two-faced' as so many people claim women to be! So thanks, because now I've seen that confirmed (I don't have male friends or a bf yet).

    I'm gonna follow your Q, but to answer, I think that a lot of men are p*rn addicts, and it makes them act crazy... If I were in your situation, I'd just try to talk to more guys, until I found one that DIDN'T lie, and didn't say personal things about his past gfs.

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  • I'm just 14 and I totally feel like giving up on guys, like my dad says, they're all rubbish!

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    • Seriously I mean it. Always make up your own mind about everything!

    • I know, thnx😏

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