Feeling iffy after first date, is it normal?

[Anonymous]

We have a good connection since we were texti ng before the date. I had my firsg date he took me to a fancy restaurant and walk near the beach. I kind of was feeling a small connection. he's perfect, my mom loves him and stuff. He gave me a peck in the mouth but it was really bad. He wants a second date. Is it maybe because it was a fancy date that i felt iffy or what? Should i get to know him more and not let him peck me until we are a thing? I mean I don't know how i feel tbh or my feelings towards him

Updates

+1 y

Im 17 by the way

[Tdieseler]

I think he's the one that should be iffy... first date and your mom loves him already? thats a flag.
You feel like he went out of his way and are unconsciously wondering what he is hiding. You are are also conflicted on how you feel based on... i can count 4 reasons... but im sensing there is a past you are comparing him to too.
The feeling of "iffy" is normal after a first date, because everyone "tries too hard"... try a second and have something to compare the first to. I usually start my theory on a girl on the first but hey, I've earned the right lol. you are still learning.

[Asker]

I kind of exaggerated on the part of my mom liking him, she just seems to genuinely think nice of him because afterall he was the one that wanted to meet her. Maybe i am trying to compare him or maybe i dont know how to process if i do have feelings for him- I think disney ruined that for me because when you expect a prince charming and he does come I don't know. I guess i will go on the second date because he did seem very nervous. I am still learning and am very inexperienced in the love department

[Tdieseler]

Yea, you'll find out soon enough. Disney did ruin a lot of things didn't it lol. Don't worry hon, go on that second date and see if its worth it. and try not to put emotions in it so soon. No such thing as a Prince Charming, its all make believe. and if you think "happily ever after"... well... you'll see.

[Asker]

Very wise and yeah disney ruins everything, always embedding standards and expectations. I guess time will tell

[Tdieseler]

Yea, time is not as embellished as disney but it doesn't lie.

[JohnScofield787]

It seems like a second date might be good. Perhaps you suggest a museum or something that allows you to walk around and discuss things, but let's you also focus on the art or the exhibits in addition to talking. Maybe it is less fancy you can just spend more time getting to know one another.

[Asker]

Yes i think maybe ill give the second date a chance afterall you really need to get know someone better before you develop strong feelings for him. In the date he was talking about future stuff to do and i mentionee hiking, something fun and adventurous

[JohnScofield787]

I love to hike that is always a great date... assuming you don't over do it.

[Asker]

How can hiking be overdone?

[JohnScofield787]

Well if you try to tackle a trail that you are not ready for (or one of you aren't ready for) then it can go from fun to a slog. Once i was hiking and stumbled across a couple who were way out of their league. the Dip Wad boy was very aggressive and talked his date/gf to going up this really steep trail that you partially had to climb rocks to get over. When I found them, he was shouting at her because she had climbed up, but was afraid to climb down. She was crying.

I helped her down (I more or less carried her in a fireman's carry down the rocks) and then she asked me to stay with them all the way back to the trail head. He was pissed, she was hot... and I had fun being the "rescuer!" I could have gotten a date out of that one if I had not been flying out the next day.

Anyway, that was what i was thinking about when i made the comment.

[vanessa55]

Why do you feel iffy? Because of what?

[Asker]

I dont know like i descibed above, during dinner i just didn't feel very connected as i feel when we text or maybe its because its the first time hanging out. he's everything I've always wanted in a guy, my mom liked him when she met him since he wanted to meet her. After the date she was talking about how goodlooking he was and how he was smart and in and on and i just thought, that he's the guy that I've been waiting for. Maybe its because it was the first date and he was nervous. Or it wasn't an adventurous setting. He actually gave me a peck and i disnt feel anything like that spark and I don't know. I mught go on a second date with him but something for outdoorsy. After all shouldn't i get to know him better, to actually process my feelings for him