Am I the worst person ever?

There's this guy I've been seeing for a month now- he is absolutely into me, I'm not sure if it's absolutely genuine or if he's just very needy, but I don't doubt his devotion to me. I've always been one to question and not really trust men, but he is truly into me. I was really for it in the beginning, but I can't help but not feel the very same way anymore. I'm 24, he's 26. I've tried calling it off twice already, but can't bear hurting him, which I have, he's almost gotten teary-eyed. He is a great guy, but I've been unintentionally thinking about the guy I dumped for him, and i feel like I'm mentally cheating on him, but can't help thinking about the first guy. I don't know why. This guy's a sweetheart, but I don't think I could see myself with him in the future, but can't bear hurting him. I talked to him and told him that I don't want to be exclusive, we are moving way too fast for just one month, and that we should just get to know each other. What is wrong with me? Is it terrible of me to be thinking about the guy I was talking to before him? I do like this guy, but I don't think I'm on the same emotional page that he is on and I don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You do not like him that way and that is ok. If you call it off, yes it is going to hurt him a bit. That is part of the ritual. We all take that risk. Your part is to make it less hurtful... that means just tell him you are not interested this way, and you guys need to break it off. Yes it will hurt, but at least he knows. Look at most of the questions on GAG where people are like "I don't know what they meant" or "When will i hear from them again." that is more painful than being honest.

    So just be honest... I am sorry.

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What Guys Said 3

  • If I was your boyfriend I would be upset for certain, but the fact is you haven't cheated and you have been honest. At the end of the day no man wants his girl thinking about anyone else but him. So if you have already given it time and nothing changes it's best even for him to move on.

    My advice though would be to think in your head, not your heart. Whilst following your heart feels like the best thing to do, often it leads to heartbreak. No matter how much you like someone you are always capable of forgetting and moving on. The question should really be whether you want to be with this guy compared to being single.

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  • I wouldn't say you are the worst person, since you are considerate of the guy's feelings that you are trying to avoid hurting. But you need to stop playing games. Make a decision. Either stay with the current guy or go back to your first. Thinking about one guy while with another is cheating. It's a different story if you are just friends. But it's also obvious that isn't the case.

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  • Worst person ever? nah... thats life...
    I can see some regret coming in your future.

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    • Regret in what sense? Please help me.

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    • You think I'm making a mistake? How do I fight off these feelings then?

    • Naa, it wouldn't be my place to say it's a mistake. I wouldn't know how to.

What Girls Said 2

  • I think that sometimes you need to put your feelings first. There is no point of continuing to see him if you don't have true feelings for him. In fact, it is better to be honest soon rather than to drag it out and have him get more attached to you. No I do not think you are a terrible person.

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  • I think that you should keep this other guy off your mind because you are now dating him and it is healthy to just keep your mind on him only.

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