How to Let a Guy Down Easy?

Okay so there's this guy that asked me out recently and I'm not attracted to him mentally or physically. When he asked my out I tried to let him down easy by telling him no, I do not have a boyfriend, but I have someone I'm talking to. He still didn't take the hint! He kept following me around and hugging me whenever he saw me around campus. If I tried to maneuver around his hugs, he'd be like "What? You don't want to give me a hug?" I don't want to be mean and say "No, I really don't" But I'm honestly tired of him. It's burden having to avoid him all over campus. I haven't seen him at all outside of school, but what do I do if he continues that behavior? How do I let him down easy?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You basically told him no nicely, and that you're interested in another guy and he wouldn't accept it. Then he constantly hounds you and hugs you when you don't like it, to the point you're having to go out your way to avoid him... And you're worried about his feelings? Does he give a shit about yours? No.
    Guys like him need to be told harshly. You can't be nice forever with guys like him.

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    • That's what all my friends say. But I'm really chickenhearted and have severe anxiety. I'd probably freak out if he lashed out.

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    • Thank you so much. My friends have literally tried to curse him out multiple times, but I've stopped them. I guess I'll just have to have a friend tag along and just tell him how I really feel.

    • Thanks for most helpful. And yea, you should do that. It isn't fair you have to constantly watch over your shoulder because this guy doesn't know his boundaries. Good luck.

What Guys Said 7

  • This will all depend on what your behavior is like with other guy friends, but if you don't hug any guy friend, then a little honesty. Something like:
    "Hey Mike, I'm flattered you like me, but like I said the other day, I'm into someone else right now. So, if you want, let's be friends but without the hugging. It just doesn't seem right when I like someone else."

    If he wants to take that as an insult or get all pissy about it, I'd say you did your best and it's his problem.

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  • tell him he's "a really good friend" emphasis on the "good friend".

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  • I respect you trying to let him down easy, but if a guy can't take a hint you can't really beat around the bush about it.

    I would just tell him you don't view him as anymore than a friend. He'll just think he got friendzoned and won't take it too far to heart, I don't think.

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    • That's a really good idea. But do you think it'll stop him from touching me so much? I honestly don't know him that well and it makes me uncomfortable.

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    • Yeah I get what you mean, thanks a million!

    • No problem:)

  • Well, I think that trying to find a way to let a person down easy is like searching for El Dorado or the Northwest Passage. They don't exist, and neither does letting a person down easy.

    Since there is no painless way to go about it, I believe quickly and directly is the way to go. You tell him, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to go out with you." If he asks why, you tell him you're not attracted to him. If you fear he'll lash out, do it in a public place or in the company of friends. Next time he attempts to hug you, you tell him you don't want to hug him.

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  • Just say you now have a boyfriend, easy.

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  • seeing some one is not a big deal... you shouldve said your in a relationship.

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  • Just be honest with him

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What Girls Said 1

  • i have pretty same situation... But the differences is that i know that guy already for 6 years, lately i started to realize that i dont like him anymore... Like people change and feelings fade...
    I try to ignore his messages, but i can't just suddenly ignore him after 6 years of friendship, so i have to answer, but my answers r short and sharp... and still he didn't understand

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    • It's so frustrating isn't it? But the thing about this guy is I barely know him! I've been around him and seen how he is when he's around other people and I'm not into that sort of person.

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