My ex posted my nudes online, what should I do?

He posted full frontal nudes of me. We were together and I was going out with my girls, he didn't like the dress I was wearing, he thought it was too short. He demanded I changed and wore pants instead but I refused to change and went out anyways.

He broke up with me because apparently looked like a slut and he posted my nudes which were on my hard drive online and said "now you can be the slut I know you are" I'm so hurt as I loved him. I never knew he had an issue with me wearing dresses and things but to post personal pics online is cruel and degrading. I haven't stopped crying and I'm scared to leave my house because I'm ashamed and embarrassed.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. The most misused apart from genuinely confused words in the dictionary are Love & Empathy. While the former is confused/misused with selfishness the latter is with sympathy
    2. Whether and how he loved you or not isn't the point of concern or debate here, the situation is how to get those pics not only off the internet but also from his possession
    3. Next thing to look into is to teach him a lesson and make an example of him to others
    4. For one you can take the woman's protection cell of the police into the loop (depending on which country you are from & in), track the IP from where the content was posted & take it from there.
    5. Which country you are in is most important.
    6. Leave revenge and stuff out of this and conduct what you must and have to logically
    7. If you don't want to approach the law enforcers owing to embarrassment (which is why I say 'woman's cell' which comprises of women) then know that the more that content is available the more people are going to access and share those :-)

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What Guys Said 27

  • The guy obviously never respected you in the first place if he is willing to go this far to shame you over something as trivial as a dress you wore. I have a feeling this is not the first time he has done something like this to shame and humiliate you and I am willing to bet also he was abusive, thats not love, he’s manipulating you to do what he wants. I think this should be a wake up call to cut your losses and get the hell out of dodge. It sounds like he posted your pictures to a revenge p*rn site of some kind so check out this link here. It should be a good place to start. I believe the laws for tis are different in each state.

    www.womenagainstrevengeporn.com/.../c9fv

    Best thing you can do is pick yourself up as best you can and not let him see it get to you, when you see him again, be direct and firm but don’t get angry because thats what he is looking for. I hope things work out for you.

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    • He wasn't abusive- physically. But he was in other ways.

  • Just so you know if you live in the U. S. check your laws within your state this actually could get him some jail time. A lot of states have passed laws regarding this. Don't be ashamed he dumped you for a dumb reason. He betrayed you and is not worth your time. Try not to worry about it. I know you are upset but it will pass with time. Try contacting the website it was posted with an attorney and see if they can get them removed.

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    • Thanks for your advice

    • You are most welcome. I hope everything is going well for you :)

  • stop crying and give him a good beatdown for this. he deserves it

    and as a piece of advice... i suggest you to NOT share nudes with ANYONE. wether it's your bf or not

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    • I didn't share nudes hun, he stole them from my hard drive (stated above). I haven't sent nudes to anyone before and never would after this. He searched through my personal things when I went out with my friends

    • that makes things even worse then... well... be free to beat him into a pulp.

    • I would love too, he would certainly kick my ass but I'd surely try lol I'm taking him to court over this

  • Phone the police, he has no right to distribute pictures of you without your consent.
    He is obviously a seriously jealous controlling asshole, turn that feeling into hatred, he deserves to be arrested for doing that to you.

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    • I just can't believe it. I feel so violated and heartbroken. I have never been so betrayed in my whole life.

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    • @asker Yeah he needs to pay and learn that's not normal behaviour.

    • I know, be changed so fast it's like I started believing the things he told me

  • Inconsiderate people... Where did he post the pics? You should be able to contact the site administrator and ask the pictures be taken down, and then after you do that contact the police. Sadly, there's no way to guarantee that there isn't some prick out there whose already downloaded the pics, but in all honesty it's not likely anybody is going to be able to trace the pictures back to you anyway.

    It's not your fault that this happened, its his. Don't let it get you down, and remember, the only way to ensure he doesn't walk free is if you do something about it.

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    • Thanks this is a good piece of advise. i will be taking his to court, not only for this but for the harrassment I have been getting from him

  • There is very little you can do right now. The internet is a huge place. Once something gets posted there, it gets downloaded, shared and reposted to many other sites. If you know the site, you can contact them and ask them to remove it. You can sue him, but that will attract some media attention and will result in more people intentionally searching for your pics. Just don't let this thing bring you down. Don't give him the feeling that he has won. You are not responsible for the nudes that you DIDN'T post. On the bright side, there are millions of pics in the internet, so its a needle in a haystack. The joke's on him :/

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    • Her pics are gonna get passed around regardless. If she does nothing, this asshole will continue being an asshole. If he has several thousand grand to pay for the damages he caused, he'll be too busy working his ass off to pay off his debt - that would be a fantastic lesson for this piece of shit.

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    • @MaskedSanity is right in a way. The choice is ultimately yours. Consult your lawyer and collect enough evidence before filing a case.

    • Way ahead of you

  • You loved that degenerate piece of shit?

    Huh. Well then.

    You try to find out where they are, email the owner (s) of the website that they take them down, and then go about living your life as per usual. Nothing you can do about it now sorry to say.

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    • I just can't believe that someone who I could love could so something so low and cruel to me

  • Sorry to hear about your situation. He sounds like a giant shithead.

    Still, you have to try to not let it consume you to this extent. Don't hide in your house. Try to live your life as normal. Bad things happen to everyone and you'll persevere.

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    • Thank you. I just feel as if everyone has seen me, I feel so exposed

  • Perhaps go to the police...

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    • I think I will but I feel so humilliated

    • yes i am sure it is humiliating and making you feel completely vulnerable, but hopefully they will be sensitive and help you get it removed, in addition deal with your ex bf.

      I am sorry that has happened...

    • Thanks for your help

  • I would contact the host of the website, and the police, the host site should be able to take down the picture, and the police should be able to arrest your ex for something, such as copyright infringement or stolen property

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    • Thank you. I'm doing this defk

  • You can sue him actually. He cannot post any photos of you online without your blessing.

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  • First I'd contact the webhoster and tell then about the problem in order to have the pics taken down. Then I would sue the guy because it is illegal to do this.

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  • Sorry to hear that girl, there is not much you can do
    All you can do now is contact the website administrator and ask for your pictures to be removed and speak with the police, they can advise you.
    For future, never ever let a guy know that you have nude pics on your laptop nor send him any nudes

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  • He doesn't love you if he did he wouldn't be making a big issue
    out of what you wear when you go out. He is vindictive you need
    contact websites be posted your pictures and it's so sad that he
    would stoop so low to post your pictures but with Attorney and
    law enforcement you may be able to get the pictures taken down
    I'm sure this taught you lesson never send nudes to guys cause
    you see what this caused to happen and again he doesn't love you
    i know you do and it's so sad that guys got be little dicks with their
    girlfriends and if he truly loved you he wouldn't be asking you for nudes.

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    • I didn't send the nudes. He stole them from my hard drive. I did mention that above

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    • lol thanks

    • You're welcome :-)) xD

  • Sit there and be mad. You can't un-post something, once it's on the internet it's there forever. I'd find a way to benefit or profit off them.

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  • You own those nudes, Be proud that many many men are fapping to your beautiful self! Own it up!

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  • Unless there is your face in the pictures, lie... if so then lie and tell people it's not yours... unless that's not ur personality... if your face is in it or you like being honest... you can report it to the police because it was private and illegal on social media... and then kick his ass

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  • I am so sorry this happened to you. I would call the local sherif or police.

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  • why would you take nude pictures of yourself in the first place if you do dumb shit be prepared to face the consequences just as your ex may have to face the consequences of his actions if you tell the police

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    • I can do what I choose to do in private. I don't expect people I love to steal from me

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    • I can understand what you're saying but nobody should be going through my personal things

    • yh but we live in the real world so you can't always expect that people can be spiteful

  • He's dead wrong for that. That's immature of him to post your nude pics. But you should've also listened to him if that was your boyfriend, puttin on a longer dress or jeans would've been best. He felt as tho you went against him, and that you was trying to be cute for someone else. Insecurity is another topic. But as his girlfriend, making his insecurities secure, should be part of your duties.

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    • My dress wasn't short (cut just above the knee) and didn't show any cleavage. I shouldn't have to wear pants to make him feel better. Him telling me what I should and shouldn't wear. So I should change my whole wardrobe just to make him feel secure? Yes, I was his girl and I was good to him. He was controlling, didn't like my friends, didn't like me even looking at dudes. Why would I reinforce this behaviour by playing along with it? I would be shooting myself in the foot. I wasn't even allowed to go out with my girls unless he came too. You think I should have stayed home then huh?

    • Well since you got more into detail, I can understand where you are coming from. Changing your wardrobe for your man, is necessary sometimes. But in the case of him being overly insecure and possessive, you did the right thing. And no I don't think you should've stayed home, you did the right thing by going out with your real friends. He's a foul bitch ass guy and I'm glad you stood up for yourself. You should go all out, and make him pay for what he's done.

    • Thanks for understanding and I will make him pay.

  • Sue his ass off. What a piece of shit.

    I'm sorry this happened to you.

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    • I intend on doing this and thanks

  • Just be a spectator.

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    • What do you mean?

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    • If you want to teach him a lesson, police is a best option tho.
      In india public/family would have taken law in their hands. Lol

    • I HATE SUCH DOUCHES!

  • Thats the problem of perverts these days ,, they use u n threw u like used tissue papers, n hunt for fresh ones,, but why u girls share your nudes with these assholes perverts? They may blackmail u as well... Just kick them in their balls... n dont keep your nudes in any hard drive or phone.. what is the need for it? Next time don't share nudes with any asshole pussy seekers!!!

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    • I didn't share nudes and never have done

  • I thought girls show nudes of their bfs all the time when they have them

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  • Sorry to hear. Your ex seems like he acts on impulse. But yeah, do you know which website he posted it up on? If so, maybe you can contact then and tell them to get rid of those pictures. Best of luck to ya.

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    • Thank, I contacted one site and I'm waiting for a response and I'm not sure if that's the only site.

    • You're welcome. Hope things work.

    • Thanks

  • Call the police. What he did was illegal. You may also have a civil suit.

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  • not that i would have done it. but you wanted to look like a slut anyway

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    • what the hell, she did not go out naked, and paraded for everyone. And no matter what, it is not right i anyway to post naked picture of someone else out there.

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    • its my day off, i have lots of time to waste.
      sure i will, go back to being a ho

    • Lol you're crazy

What Girls Said 28

  • No and no... uh uh... this guy is a total and complete idiots and he is trying to push down your confidence just to feel like a big man or something, how dare he share such private photos with the whole world jsut to humiliate you in front of everybody and call you a slut... how on earth can someone feel it's right to shame someone else's sexuality? they have their own sexuality, so i would get him and give him an ear full and tell him how would he feel if he shamed his sexuality in front of everyone?, what a douche... This is why i don't give guys any kind of naked photos when they ask or even let them video what we do because they respond very immaturely like this... don't like the a-hole make you feel this way.

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    • Thanks, he's a dick. He never liked me having any social life which excluded him. Didn't like my male friends even my male cousins. I can't believe I felt so deeply for someone who could do me like this

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    • Lol i never ever take notice of a guy till i've seen his friends, there is always a window while they are hanging around before they decide to notice you, i haven't talked to guys online in ages, i tried online dating but i can't meet their friends that way, the last guy he pretended he was scared of blowing a kiss in front of his friends on cam and then blowing one when they weren't looking but really they were looking right at him sniggering :( dicks! lol. I was talking to one of his friends first who lives were i do, never date a muslim guy especially cos they have friends all of the place... not even funny... so if you happen to bump into one of their friends at random towns or places they start making fun of you argh!, i blocked both of them when i figured out all his friends are the same as him and well... but generally even other guys i wil probs never see his mates meeting them online so... it's risky lol.

    • Haha well I'm defo now in to meeting the friends because it does say a lot about them and who they are lol

  • He sounds abusive, insecure, possessive and psychopathic, I hope he stays your ex and never dates again! You should call the police, what he did is illegal and try to contact the website to request they get removed. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a vile human being. Try and get support from friends and family during this time.

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    • Thanks for your nice words, I will be seeing my lawyer tomorrow. i have an abundance of abusive messages from to too which I have saved.

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    • Oh, that's another conviction; invasion of privacy! Tell the police that too! I hope things end well and that you never return to him.

    • O god no, I am so over this guy and who I thought he was- I'm done!

  • Not too sure about the laws where you live, but as far as I'm aware, you can sue this asshole.

    You did not give him the photos, you did not give him permission to take them or post them anywhere. He STOLE your property and distributed it without your consent.

    Gather all the evidence you need and take his ass to court.

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    • Thats my plan. I even have messages with him saying he took my pictures so it's clear I didn't give them to him

    • Good. Keep those messages, that's good evidence to confirm his actions and malicious intent.

    • I defo will be- thanks

  • you should go to the cops if you really need to.
    But be proud of your body, girl. Yes, i know it's embarrassing.. but what's done is done. Rather then showing him how much it negatively affected you…embrace it. Just channel your inner jennifer lawrence.

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  • I'm so sorry this happened to you. He seems like a controlling guy.

    Contact the websites where the pictures are posted and demand they take it down. Also do a google search on yourself and contact google if their is anything incriminating. Sue him too.

    From now on, make sure any files or folders with personal stuff is password protected and not shared.

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    • Thanks and I will. It's just a shame that future partners me being suspicious of them which isn't fair

  • I am so sorry you ever went on through that :-( that's awful. Don't let him make you feel bad though, that's what he would want. You have no reason to be ashamed, he should except he probably won't because he is scum.

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  • Contact the web admin and/or the police. He could get jail time for this... I'm so sorry your trust was violated in such a disrespectful and disgusting manner. It's times like this where I wish I believed in karma..

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  • I can definitely relate to this because my ex posted nude pictures of me as well without my knowledge and that was a couple years ago and I'm still angry about it. I would say in the future never share nude photos even if you're in a relationship with them and if you are ever intimate with someone make sure there are no video cameras or phones around. Since that happened to me I have become very paranoid about it. If you have proof that he has done it you can even sue him I think due to cyber harassment laws now.

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    • Firstly, I'm you went through this too, it's the most violating thing ever. I didn't send him any nudes, he stole them from my external hard drive without my knowledge- his motivation? Because I wouldn't wear something he approved of when I was going out with my girls. Still both our exes are dicks

  • just calm down and call the police. Get this addressed and the photos taken down. he'll get what he deserves dont worry, you did nothing wrong!

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    • Thanks hun

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    • I will report him and take him to court over this

    • good!! end the trend!!

  • Get in touch with the websites to take them down. Get a lawyer involved as well if you can to go after this scum bag. I notice that you said it was on your hard drive and that you did not send him these pics, which I think will work more in your favor if you go to court. Save anything on paper which proves his mean and nasty behaviour as well. Do not take this lying down.

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    • Thanks, he stole them from me the night I went out. It's like he looked for a way to punish me just because I went out with my girls

  • that is so wrong, you can choose whatever you want, and he has no right, to even go to you're computer. I would try to call the website to get it down. And go to the police and do whatever you can to make him feel sorry. And I am sorry, and I hope it gets better.

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    • Thanks for the support and advice

  • I'm so sorry:( don't be embarrassed or ashamed. Don't give the jackass any satisfaction. Don't worry about leaving they house. isn't it illegal to post nudes without permission?

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    • I found that it is illegal so I'm taking him to court not only for this but the harrassment and threats I have been receiving. Thanks

    • Good for you girl:) glad I was of help

    • Thanks

  • Now listen and stop being childish, afraid, go to police suit him and make him pay for everything don't tell me I love him and all blah blah if u don't do that u will prove you are a slut as he said..

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    • You're crazy. It's like you read the description and already had your mind made up of what sort of person I am. Perhaps you should read some of the replies I have given to comments left and get an idea of what is going on. Get back to me once you have done so 👍

    • If you can't handle honest opinions don't post a question and please read my opinion over and over again tell you understand it if you can't understand ask someone to explain

    • It's not a case of honesty and being able to handle certain things. It's about you being small minded and thick. Have a nice day

  • THIS is why I'd NEVER take naked photos of myself. For anyone. All you can do now is sue his ass.

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  • learn not to take nudes. problem solved.

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  • You would have to have no brain power to be asking a question like this on here. He does not like you, but what he did was cruel. Sorry to hear.

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    • What? Lol "he does not like you" not you're missing the main point here that he is a controlling dickhead who I getting me back for having a mind of my own.

  • Never post your face in nudes..

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  • I would fucking kill him. report the picture, because pretty sure that's not even legal.

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  • Wow he sounds like a piece of crap. Sorry to hear it. But next time if you must send someone nudes, make sure he isn't going to do THAT. Wow.

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    • I didn't send the nudes, he took them off my hard drive

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    • He stole my nudes that's like a cyber crime posting them

    • Yeah, good point

  • 1. there's nothing you can do
    2. You should have never took em
    3. I hope you learn a valuable lesson
    4. You brought the situation on yourself by dressing like a slut

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    • You are so wrong :)

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    • Not sure if troll, or biggest idiot on the planet.

      Most likely the latter.

    • I agree with you.

  • Why even take nudes? I was thought not to do that when i was 13I trust No one with things like that my bf can see me in real life why do you need pictures?

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    • He stole them from me, so he must have searched my personal things behind my back. Who would expect their boyfriend to steal from them or search through their things?

  • What I don't get is why you had nudes on your hard drive if you've never sent nudes... what was the point on having nudes of yourself?

    Either way, that was wrong of him.
    Was it on a social media site where your friends and family could see them?

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    • No it's a revenge site or a few and I have never sent dudes before, I took them a while ago because I was doing before and afters for when I finish my gym program.

    • So is it possible no one you know has seen them? Make him take them down! That's terrible!
      And next time take before and after pics in your bra and underwear.

  • Kill him :D

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  • Call the police. You have NO REASON to feel ashamed or embarrassed. You can dress however you please. He obviously has control issues. And also emotionally abusive.

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    • Thanks, I still have the abusive messages he's been sending me saved so those should help

  • i like beyond

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    • What does this mean?

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    • Lol no problem and thanks

    • haahha welcome

  • Tell everyone his dick is small and he likes to play with his butt while having sex and that he sucks at sex, hope it was helpful

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  • You could take the police route, but sometimes that doesn't help. Or you could fight dirty and tell the cops he beat you. If he's out to ruin your life you might as well ruin his :D

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    • I will contact the police but I won't make up any lies, I will tell the truth- that's bad enough

    • Good for you. That's what I would do first, but if the cops or no one else helps you (sadly, sometimes that happens even though it shouldn't) you should find another way to punish him. Don't listen to that eye for an eye makes the whole world blind bullshit. People need to feel the consequences of their actions

    • I agree they should especially something like this, be is pretty much puting me in danger in some respect and making me vulnerable

  • Tell his mom, shame the little shit-cunt.

    Then learn a valuable lesson about nude photo's: don't put your face in them.

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