My ex posted my nudes online, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

He posted full frontal nudes of me. We were together and I was going out with my girls, he didn't like the dress I was wearing, he thought it was too short. He demanded I changed and wore pants instead but I refused to change and went out anyways.

He broke up with me because apparently looked like a slut and he posted my nudes which were on my hard drive online and said "now you can be the slut I know you are" I'm so hurt as I loved him. I never knew he had an issue with me wearing dresses and things but to post personal pics online is cruel and degrading. I haven't stopped crying and I'm scared to leave my house because I'm ashamed and embarrassed.

[thecd1979]

The guy obviously never respected you in the first place if he is willing to go this far to shame you over something as trivial as a dress you wore. I have a feeling this is not the first time he has done something like this to shame and humiliate you and I am willing to bet also he was abusive, thats not love, he’s manipulating you to do what he wants. I think this should be a wake up call to cut your losses and get the hell out of dodge. It sounds like he posted your pictures to a revenge p*rn site of some kind so check out this link here. It should be a good place to start. I believe the laws for tis are different in each state.

www.womenagainstrevengeporn.com/.../c9fv

Best thing you can do is pick yourself up as best you can and not let him see it get to you, when you see him again, be direct and firm but don’t get angry because thats what he is looking for. I hope things work out for you.

[Asker]

He wasn't abusive- physically. But he was in other ways.

[Anonymous]

Just so you know if you live in the U. S. check your laws within your state this actually could get him some jail time. A lot of states have passed laws regarding this. Don't be ashamed he dumped you for a dumb reason. He betrayed you and is not worth your time. Try not to worry about it. I know you are upset but it will pass with time. Try contacting the website it was posted with an attorney and see if they can get them removed.

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice

[Opinion Owner]

You are most welcome. I hope everything is going well for you :)

[emmabee11]

No and no... uh uh... this guy is a total and complete idiots and he is trying to push down your confidence just to feel like a big man or something, how dare he share such private photos with the whole world jsut to humiliate you in front of everybody and call you a slut... how on earth can someone feel it's right to shame someone else's sexuality? they have their own sexuality, so i would get him and give him an ear full and tell him how would he feel if he shamed his sexuality in front of everyone?, what a douche... This is why i don't give guys any kind of naked photos when they ask or even let them video what we do because they respond very immaturely like this... don't like the a-hole make you feel this way.

[Asker]

Thanks, he's a dick. He never liked me having any social life which excluded him. Didn't like my male friends even my male cousins. I can't believe I felt so deeply for someone who could do me like this

[emmabee11]

haha i type too much when i'm mad, things like this genuinely make me feel angry because it's like saying "A guy can post naked and express their sexuality but a girl can't", total double standard.

[emmabee11]

i mean too many typeos ooohh calm down emma lol

[Asker]

It's cool I get it lol I can't take double standards either. Especially when they're I forced by small minded dickless men. I just hope he gets what he deserved

[Asker]

Haha don't worry about the typos I get the message

[emmabee11]

That should of been the red flag right there is his controlling attitude towards your social life, men like this will always take it 1 step further because they are very insecure little boys and probably his friends are the same way too, you are who you hang with, he just wants to seem like a big man, when i like a guy beefore i take it further i always check to see what his mates are like first and if they are always there at his shoulder telling him who to like and making horrible jokes that the only time women are quiet is when they are sucking them lol i back off straight away, no kind of joking or behavior like this is acceptable.

[Asker]

He's just an ass it's as simple as that. I'm gaming his ass to court so I will see who gets the last laugh. He's friends are all dicks too, one of them is very different and used to try to reason with him about the way he treated me but I should have stuck up for myself more and not been so weak

[emmabee11]

Yeh i've noticed that there is always at least 1 guy in a group of friends that they make fun of who is the reasonable one, in future i would go with that guy not the others, although i'm still always put off because of his friends anyway... they act that way just to cock block him and well... it works... i don't know how a good guy can hang with people like that even after what your "ex" just did... yeh... he seems really soft... so that's probs why i don't go for that 1 guy lol.

[Asker]

Lolol I know what you mean. They're all a bunch or dicks who cheats on their girlfriends and find it amusing so insecure butt heads. I met his friends so long into our relationship, it's like he kept them a secret, I always had to ask to meet them. Shady things I overlooked like an idiot

[emmabee11]

Lol i never ever take notice of a guy till i've seen his friends, there is always a window while they are hanging around before they decide to notice you, i haven't talked to guys online in ages, i tried online dating but i can't meet their friends that way, the last guy he pretended he was scared of blowing a kiss in front of his friends on cam and then blowing one when they weren't looking but really they were looking right at him sniggering :( dicks! lol. I was talking to one of his friends first who lives were i do, never date a muslim guy especially cos they have friends all of the place... not even funny... so if you happen to bump into one of their friends at random towns or places they start making fun of you argh!, i blocked both of them when i figured out all his friends are the same as him and well... but generally even other guys i wil probs never see his mates meeting them online so... it's risky lol.

[Asker]

Haha well I'm defo now in to meeting the friends because it does say a lot about them and who they are lol

[nygirl25]

I can definitely relate to this because my ex posted nude pictures of me as well without my knowledge and that was a couple years ago and I'm still angry about it. I would say in the future never share nude photos even if you're in a relationship with them and if you are ever intimate with someone make sure there are no video cameras or phones around. Since that happened to me I have become very paranoid about it. If you have proof that he has done it you can even sue him I think due to cyber harassment laws now.

[Asker]

Firstly, I'm you went through this too, it's the most violating thing ever. I didn't send him any nudes, he stole them from my external hard drive without my knowledge- his motivation? Because I wouldn't wear something he approved of when I was going out with my girls. Still both our exes are dicks

[Hannah591]

He sounds abusive, insecure, possessive and psychopathic, I hope he stays your ex and never dates again! You should call the police, what he did is illegal and try to contact the website to request they get removed. I'm sorry you have to deal with such a vile human being. Try and get support from friends and family during this time.

[Asker]

Thanks for your nice words, I will be seeing my lawyer tomorrow. i have an abundance of abusive messages from to too which I have saved.

[Hannah591]

I would recommend that you print them off just in case they get deleted or something happens. You need to bring punishment to that lad and next time, think twice before sending nudes, even to boyfriends. You never know when they can use them against you.

[Asker]

Yh I will be doing this. I didn't send nudes, he stole them from my external hard drive when I didn't listen to him and went out with my girls. He searched through my personal things and must have found tjem

[Hannah591]

Oh, that's another conviction; invasion of privacy! Tell the police that too! I hope things end well and that you never return to him.

[Asker]

O god no, I am so over this guy and who I thought he was- I'm done!

[HandsomeRaj]

1. The most misused apart from genuinely confused words in the dictionary are Love & Empathy. While the former is confused/misused with selfishness the latter is with sympathy
2. Whether and how he loved you or not isn't the point of concern or debate here, the situation is how to get those pics not only off the internet but also from his possession
3. Next thing to look into is to teach him a lesson and make an example of him to others
4. For one you can take the woman's protection cell of the police into the loop (depending on which country you are from & in), track the IP from where the content was posted & take it from there.
5. Which country you are in is most important.
6. Leave revenge and stuff out of this and conduct what you must and have to logically
7. If you don't want to approach the law enforcers owing to embarrassment (which is why I say 'woman's cell' which comprises of women) then know that the more that content is available the more people are going to access and share those :-)

[capncool]

Inconsiderate people... Where did he post the pics? You should be able to contact the site administrator and ask the pictures be taken down, and then after you do that contact the police. Sadly, there's no way to guarantee that there isn't some prick out there whose already downloaded the pics, but in all honesty it's not likely anybody is going to be able to trace the pictures back to you anyway.

It's not your fault that this happened, its his. Don't let it get you down, and remember, the only way to ensure he doesn't walk free is if you do something about it.

[Asker]

Thanks this is a good piece of advise. i will be taking his to court, not only for this but for the harrassment I have been getting from him

[Zango91]

There is very little you can do right now. The internet is a huge place. Once something gets posted there, it gets downloaded, shared and reposted to many other sites. If you know the site, you can contact them and ask them to remove it. You can sue him, but that will attract some media attention and will result in more people intentionally searching for your pics. Just don't let this thing bring you down. Don't give him the feeling that he has won. You are not responsible for the nudes that you DIDN'T post. On the bright side, there are millions of pics in the internet, so its a needle in a haystack. The joke's on him :/

[MaskedSanity]

Her pics are gonna get passed around regardless. If she does nothing, this asshole will continue being an asshole. If he has several thousand grand to pay for the damages he caused, he'll be too busy working his ass off to pay off his debt - that would be a fantastic lesson for this piece of shit.

[Asker]

It would. I'm seeing my lawyer tomorrow about this so I will update

[Zango91]

@MaskedSanity is right in a way. The choice is ultimately yours. Consult your lawyer and collect enough evidence before filing a case.

[Asker]

Way ahead of you

[7heDubz]

You loved that degenerate piece of shit?

Huh. Well then.

You try to find out where they are, email the owner (s) of the website that they take them down, and then go about living your life as per usual. Nothing you can do about it now sorry to say.

[Asker]

I just can't believe that someone who I could love could so something so low and cruel to me

[Mikasa]

Get in touch with the websites to take them down. Get a lawyer involved as well if you can to go after this scum bag. I notice that you said it was on your hard drive and that you did not send him these pics, which I think will work more in your favor if you go to court. Save anything on paper which proves his mean and nasty behaviour as well. Do not take this lying down.

[Asker]

Thanks, he stole them from me the night I went out. It's like he looked for a way to punish me just because I went out with my girls

[springocelot]

I'm so sorry this happened to you. He seems like a controlling guy.

Contact the websites where the pictures are posted and demand they take it down. Also do a google search on yourself and contact google if their is anything incriminating. Sue him too.

From now on, make sure any files or folders with personal stuff is password protected and not shared.

[Asker]

Thanks and I will. It's just a shame that future partners me being suspicious of them which isn't fair

[MaskedSanity]

Not too sure about the laws where you live, but as far as I'm aware, you can sue this asshole.

You did not give him the photos, you did not give him permission to take them or post them anywhere. He STOLE your property and distributed it without your consent.

Gather all the evidence you need and take his ass to court.

[Asker]

Thats my plan. I even have messages with him saying he took my pictures so it's clear I didn't give them to him

[MaskedSanity]

Good. Keep those messages, that's good evidence to confirm his actions and malicious intent.

[Asker]

I defo will be- thanks

[LousyLoudMusic]

that is so wrong, you can choose whatever you want, and he has no right, to even go to you're computer. I would try to call the website to get it down. And go to the police and do whatever you can to make him feel sorry. And I am sorry, and I hope it gets better.

[Asker]

Thanks for the support and advice

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

He doesn't love you if he did he wouldn't be making a big issue
out of what you wear when you go out. He is vindictive you need
contact websites be posted your pictures and it's so sad that he
would stoop so low to post your pictures but with Attorney and
law enforcement you may be able to get the pictures taken down
I'm sure this taught you lesson never send nudes to guys cause
you see what this caused to happen and again he doesn't love you
i know you do and it's so sad that guys got be little dicks with their
girlfriends and if he truly loved you he wouldn't be asking you for nudes.

[Asker]

I didn't send the nudes. He stole them from my hard drive. I did mention that above

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Well, whatever you did.. experience is the best teacher
i wish you well i am not being offensive but he was wrong
he had to hack your computer or you let him use your phone,
computer for him to get them pictures , never do that stuff with
no one i don't care if you knew the person for 17 years of your
life

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

We live in world where someone can be your lover now
and tomorrow be your enemy i had it happen many times
that's why i don't have many friends cause people are
back stabbers

[Asker]

I know it's so sad isn't it. Thing is he searched through my personal belongings the night I went out and didn't take heed to his demands of wearing something he preferred

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

It's sad how can someone say they love you and
just turn like that in split seconds? Well hope you
can find a new guy and bring this guy to justice
i do wish you well and sorry you went through
all this crap wow i could never hurt girl that way..

[Asker]

It's disgusting that he would want to hurt me this way. I can't believe it and I loved him so much and now I just feel so confused and shocked and everything else that you can think of.

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yes it is disgusting, girls/ women are the most beautiful human beings
it would not matter what girlfriend of mine wore going out with friends
guys are immature and stupid. I see girls / women sexy in the eyes of love
i don't see them sexy just for sexual reasons only, oh that guy will pay
karma's a bitch ( sorry for my language)

[Asker]

It's ok 😊 I'm just shocked. I should be able to wear what I want to wear and hang out with who I choose to. It's not like I'm doing any wrong

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

Yes i agree with you i wish you well xD

[Asker]

lol thanks

[JustinCaseUDontKnow]

You're welcome :-)) xD

[Blondiee2014]

Phone the police, he has no right to distribute pictures of you without your consent.
He is obviously a seriously jealous controlling asshole, turn that feeling into hatred, he deserves to be arrested for doing that to you.

[Asker]

I just can't believe it. I feel so violated and heartbroken. I have never been so betrayed in my whole life.

[Blondiee2014]

@asker yeah that's a major betrayal.
But for someone to do that to someone they was in a relationship shows he is truly evil.
You can't let him get away with this you have to tell the police, at least then he will be humiliated as well and be looked upon for what he is, a Nasty bastard.

[Asker]

I will report it. I thought he loved me but after he tried controlling what I wore and who I spoke to. He hit one of my guy friends in the face for complimenting my hair style one day

[Blondiee2014]

@asker Yeah he needs to pay and learn that's not normal behaviour.

[Asker]

I know, be changed so fast it's like I started believing the things he told me

[Klaatu51]

stop crying and give him a good beatdown for this. he deserves it

and as a piece of advice... i suggest you to NOT share nudes with ANYONE. wether it's your bf or not

[Asker]

I didn't share nudes hun, he stole them from my hard drive (stated above). I haven't sent nudes to anyone before and never would after this. He searched through my personal things when I went out with my friends

[Klaatu51]

that makes things even worse then... well... be free to beat him into a pulp.

[Asker]

I would love too, he would certainly kick my ass but I'd surely try lol I'm taking him to court over this

[footballfan993]

I would contact the host of the website, and the police, the host site should be able to take down the picture, and the police should be able to arrest your ex for something, such as copyright infringement or stolen property

[Asker]

Thank you. I'm doing this defk

[HorrorFan]

Sorry to hear about your situation. He sounds like a giant shithead.

Still, you have to try to not let it consume you to this extent. Don't hide in your house. Try to live your life as normal. Bad things happen to everyone and you'll persevere.

[Asker]

Thank you. I just feel as if everyone has seen me, I feel so exposed

[sarmac]

you should go to the cops if you really need to.
But be proud of your body, girl. Yes, i know it's embarrassing.. but what's done is done. Rather then showing him how much it negatively affected you…embrace it. Just channel your inner jennifer lawrence.

[LovesTVDx]

I am so sorry you ever went on through that :-( that's awful. Don't let him make you feel bad though, that's what he would want. You have no reason to be ashamed, he should except he probably won't because he is scum.

[Asker]

Thanks babe

[masm64]

You can sue him actually. He cannot post any photos of you online without your blessing.

[Asker]

Thanks

[BoudyRizk]

Sorry to hear that girl, there is not much you can do
All you can do now is contact the website administrator and ask for your pictures to be removed and speak with the police, they can advise you.
For future, never ever let a guy know that you have nude pics on your laptop nor send him any nudes

[beeturner]

Contact the web admin and/or the police. He could get jail time for this... I'm so sorry your trust was violated in such a disrespectful and disgusting manner. It's times like this where I wish I believed in karma..

[Ballerinasinger3]

just calm down and call the police. Get this addressed and the photos taken down. he'll get what he deserves dont worry, you did nothing wrong!

[Asker]

Thanks hun

[Ballerinasinger3]

no problem! seriously though, what he is doing is illegal and abusive and you do NOT deserve to be treated that way. Make that known by calling the police as soon as possible. This is harrassment!

[Asker]

I will report him and take him to court over this

[Ballerinasinger3]

good!! end the trend!!

[lovesyoumuch]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I would call the local sherif or police.

[Asker]

Thank you, I am taking him to court.

[lovesyoumuch]

Good for you. What a fuckhead.