How to I make it clear to a guy that I'm not a sugar mama?

I've been dating a younger guy (six years) who is broke. I don't mind paying for some things, but he made a joke about moving into my apartment. I don't plan on letting this happen-especially not without splitting rent. I only make about 32K and can't support both of us. How can I be clear that I'm not going to support him?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Don't spend on him much, he'll know. Definitely don't ever give cash, gifts are better than cash even.

    • Do you think he'll ask for money?

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    • Have you had this experience? I've never dated someone so much younger before.

    • Na, I've just had female friends who have and some of my guy friends (sorry, I know) are kinda bad to women, use women and stuff like that. Some of them live really nicely off of womens money to.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Oh my gosh! You scared me for a second... my girlfriend is 6 years older than me! But then I read the rest of your post and phew... SAFE!

    Yeah... don't let him get comfortable. Remember you have to care for yourself too! But this is something you really should talk about. Just find some way to bring it up and talk about it.

    • Is there a tactful way to bring it up? I've never dated anyone so much younger before.

    • It really depends on the person and the situation. Since you've only been dating for 6 weeks it might be a little bit more difficult (I know my girlfriend for 3 years before we started dating), but it is important to step up now and make yourself clear to him.

      Things are really circumstantial. So it's hard to give you a silver bullet answer, BUT it is important to nip it in the bud now if you need to.

    • If he's really mature, treat him like a man and be direct.

      If he's still maturing, you'll have to find a way to get through to him and put the message in a way that he'll understand.

  • Well if he was just making a joke than maybe you have heard the end of it. If he starts getting pushy than explain to him that money doesn't grow on trees for you either and he needs to look out for himself as well.

    • Do you think he was testing the waters? We've only been dating six weeks. Waaaay to early to even joke.

    • maybe, but I suggest waiting, if he gives more hints like that you will know his intentions

What Girls Said 3

  • I once dated a guy who was broke while I had a great paying job and the way I dealt with it was I would never let him pay for me but I also wouldn't pay for him unless it was a special occasion like his birthday or something.

  • don't support him. tell him he can't move in. you are an adult, if you don't stick up for yourself it's your problem.

    • At this point, it's too early to move in. We' so only dated a little over a month. But I want him to realize I don't make enough to support him. Would it be offensive to just come right out and say that?

  • Tell him he cannot move in until you can share the load equally. I would put a few job postings that work with his skills, have a decent paycheck and watch for what he does. If he is serious he will work toward becoming an equal partner and if not then dump his ass.

    • He does work really hard, he just doesn't make much and also pays child support. So he's broke. I don't really care about money much, but I don't make enough for it to not be an issue. I don't know what to say or do.