Why do I always have to be the one to talk first?

There are bunch of girls at work that work in the same group as me. They talk to other guys stop by there desk ask for help etc, but they don't really do that to me. But, if I stop by and talk they are all playing with hair and chatty with me. It's annoying because I get tired of being the one to initiate all the time. What is this?

One girl gave me a cat calendar to be funny, I put it up in my cube. While I was gone she put a smiley face on it. She will stop by the other guys desk. Yesterday she just walked by. I emailed her a joke about the calendar and before I knew it she was back at my desk to talk?

Another girl will ask the two other guys behind me for help before me. Sometimes she acts like she can't look at me lol. The other day I made a joke about being the third on the list for help. She came to me, then said look I came to you first. Then she said, but if the other guys were there I would have been last or something like that haha she says. This same girl has sat next to me in a couple meetings recently and bumped me wit her legs under the table numerous times, doesn't say oops sorry like most people. Then at lunch I went all the way to the end to sit, so did she even though there were lots of other seats. Then she bumped me under the table. Then standing in line she's behind me to pay and bumps into me again? I am clueless lol!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I kinda read the situation like this:

    There are bunch of girls at work that work in the same group as me. They talk to other guys stop by their desk ask for help, etc., but they don't really do that to me. But, if I stop by and talk they are all playing with hair and chatty with me because I opened the door to establish communications with them.

    One girl was nice enough to give me a cat calendar as a funny ice breaker, and I put it up in my cube. While I was gone, she put a smiley face on it in an effort to get my attention. She will stop by the other guys’ desk because she isn’t nervous around them. Yesterday, she walked by, hoping I’d notice her. I emailed her a joke about the calendar and she was immediately at my desk to talk because I opened the door for her to talk to me.

    Another girl will ask the two other guys behind me for help before me because she isn’t intimidated by them. The other day I made a joke about being the third on the list for help. She came to me, and emphasized how she came to me first. Then she flirted by playfully teasing me, saying if the other guys were there I would have been last - or something like that. This same girl has sat next to me in a couple meetings recently and bumped me with her legs under the table numerous times, but doesn't say “oops, sorry”, secretly hoping that I did not notice that she bumped me. Then at lunch, she made an extra effort to sit near me even though I went all the way to the end to sit.

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    • So in other words, I think they like you. All of them.

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    • If you really want to mess with them, get a picture taken with you posing with the most attractive female friend you have. Make this picture the desktop wallpaper on your computer. Make sure they see this picture as you leave work on Friday afternoon. This will give them something to worry about all weekend.

      They won't even be able to ask you about her because you'll be out the door, so they'll just assume you are dating her.

    • I think the bumping may be accidental. Or she's trying to get you to notice her. If you like her, you could say "Aw, trying to get close to me?"

      You could even say "Uh-oh... we collided, which means we have to exchange insurance information now. I need to get your phone number now because I may need it later. But I do want to make sure that you are fine." If she then asks how you are, you could say "I have whiplash from the accident, so my neck's sore. I'll have to have someone massage it later, but I'll be fine."

What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • hmm in your situation I don't know since it has to do with work. but like casually, its how you set off that first impression. if im the one always initiating things first then the girl gets used to that pattern and literally waits for me. if i don't talk to her for a while she'll call me out on it. then i start talking to another girl and let her do the initiating and holy shit she fucking texts me like a muther first time every time.

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    • I'm like damn, come over and talk to me! What about that last girl I mentioned? Whats that bro?

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    • Why doesn't she talk to me then? You think second girl is digging me? Why doesn't she talk to me then? I always have to make move

    • probably because those 2 girls believe a man has to do what a man has to do and expects you to initiate conversation lol.

  • i think she is loving you

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    • Haha which girl?

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    • who is trying to get your attention

    • Which?

  • thats the chore, burden placed on us guys

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