Do guys find virgins a turn off?

I'm a virgin and plan on staying that way until I'm married, but as soon as I tell guys, they seem to stop talking to me.. I've never had a boyfriend before either and I don't understand what's going on in people's heads on virgins.. Is being a virgin a bad thing to guys and/or all people?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • guys that get turned off by you sexually are only in it for the hook up. they know they have no chance with you so why bother. others are more interested in keeping you around long term. its not bad to be a virgin. you just won't get as much sexual attention

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    • This is true, but it doesn't neccesarily mean you won't get any less attention. You will just lose the attention from people you wouldn't want it from to begin with:)

    • Doesn't necessarily mean they're ONLY in it for the hookup. Maybe a guy wants to know how a girl is in bed before he wants to dedicate his life to her.

What Guys Said 16

  • The issue here is that you seem to have joined this cult of virginity known as Christianity (other religions practice this as well) and I can't come to any reasonable compromise with the irrationality of devout believers.

    Virginity doesn't matter to me. It depends on why she's a virgin. I'd give a single mother a chance if she's got strong character values. She and her child need love like the rest of us, not to be killed or lambasted or doomed to Hell as she would be by order of God's will.

    You were sold an archaic and demeaning meme disguised by a fresh new paint job. Do you know why premarital sex is a sin? Because God ordered that women who are not virgins on their wedding night be stoned to death on their father's doorstep. Oh, and they are going to Hell.

    That sounds totally practical. But now we rationalize this cult by saying that the first moment is the magical moment. Ask anyone who lost their virginity and it's not a magical moment and nothing tainted them for having it before marriage.

    This isn't what you WANT to read, but you NEED to read it.

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    • I'm actually an atheist. I'm a virgin for moral values.. Thanks.

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    • You do realize that literally this whole conversation you've been attacking ME right? Like specifically off a full topic that has 150% nothing to do with the question I asked. If you want to talk about ad hominem, then please look at yourself.

    • Oh, it's not personal. It feels personal because beliefs seem personal. Beliefs can change though. I only attack beliefs. Sorry if you thought otherwise, I'm sure you're a perfectly functional, wonderful girl. With a funky view on premarital sex.

  • I don't think it's you being virgin that's turning them off. It's just that most guys are not interested in waiting until marriage to have sex. I don't blame them. It's nothing against you as a person, but you'll honestly most likely have to find a religious guy to marry.

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  • It's not the virgin bit that's the turn off, but waiting till marriage. I quite like the idea of marriage in certain respects, maybe a public declaration of our love? But I can't support the religious connotations, for which, most people presumably are saving themselves till marriage. I'd rather scepticism towards man-made institutions and authority.

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  • Yes, I can officially say 100 percent of all males on the face of the Earth all hate virgins.

    I even have my legal certificate proving I am allowed to say that.

    Took me 4 years to get.

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  • I am planning on waiting until im married. I actually prefer a virgin, i would be more willing to date a virgin. And you should not worry what everyone thinks of you, just be yourself!

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  • Being a virgin doesn't turn me off, but the waiting til marriage does.

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  • They aren't interested in being with a person they will not have sex with. I don't understand why if you have standards of a relationship why you get upset that a guy has standards as well.

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  • Me personally, I could go on a date with a virgin, however I don't plan on getting far with her. I prefer a woman with experience and who's open about her sexuality. Sex to me is a genuinely interesting topic. To wait for marriage for a woman to have sex with her? I can't do that.

    A lot of guys love virgins, but I'm not one of them.

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  • The fact that you are a virgin is of no concern. The fact that you intend to wait until marriage is.

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  • Nah, but most don't want to wait until marriage. Just have to find one who does.

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  • There are a fair amount of people who think one should lose their virginity because it is a waste of time or over hyped to wait. I think these guys are turned off by the idea of not being able to get sex. Which means you probably do not want them as your bf anyways. Also having gone to a private christian college I can tell you the guys there respected the idea. To be fair I would not see it as a turn off. I would see it as self control and knowing what you want.

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  • I'm also waiting until marriage, and I wouldn't say I know a lot of guys who are also willing to do so, but I do know some.

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  • Many people, especially young ones, probably don't want to commit to marriage, and it scares them off. Seems reasonable to me.

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  • Nope, not at all. That's actually what I prefer.

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  • Not so much the virgin part (though I don't really get the big fuss or "holiness" over virginity), but the waiting until marriage part is what would put me off. I'm not a person that holds virginity to that traditional standard and see it as just another thing that couples do. It's also another level of compatibility so if you don't mesh sexually, it could have implications on other aspects of your relationship.

    So yeah, speaking for myself only... our values and beliefs on this are different, so that's reason for me to not vibe well with you.

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  • No, I love virgins, I'm a virgin too...

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What Girls Said 4

  • it's not that you're a virign that turns off guys , it's the fact that you don't want to have sex until marriage but that's their problem. by the way I'm also a virgin who doesn't want sex untill marriage so you're not the only one who's like that so don't be too hard on yourself.

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  • it's not a bad thing. people just wanna get laid. which isn't a bad thing either.

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  • Some do, some don't.

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  • I'm a girl and personally I wouldn't want to date a guy who was waiting until marriage. Not because I just want sex that's not true- I am a virgin myself and want to wait until a committed relationship preferably I'd want to wait 6 months- 1 year until ses.
    But because a) I want to get married at like 30 and I am not waiting that long no way and
    b) Marriage is for life and what if your partner is horrifying in bed? Before you call me shallow, look up worst sexual stories online, I did and like some people are seriously weird! Like one guy started barking when having sex another decided to put cutlery in there! Like imagine this is your wedding night, and the guy you're with has seriously weird fetishes, and this is who you spend the rest of your life with?

    That is why I personally would avoid a guy who wanted until marriage, I'd want to be fully informed into what I'm signing up for!

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