Is it wrong to have second thoughts about dating guys who make less than you?

and by less, I mean considerably less. If one person makes minimum wage and the other gets paid a decent salary, will those lifestyle differences become too much over time?

I've already noticed that when I talk to guys who make a lot less than I do, that a lot of them make uncomfortable comments about money. They'll also reference my big "fancy" job. I am thankful to have my livelihood but my job is not fancy at all and I'm not rich. I budget and sometimes worry about bills too but since u make in some cases double what they bring home it can be awkward

Would I be shallow if I only dated guys who make similar salaries? At least then I wouldn't be hearing them complain about how through can't afford things that are normal for me, and I won't have to deal with a lot of the insecurity and resentment some guys seem to have.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I am attracted to women who are successful or have ambition to be successful in their professional lives, I think I'd find it difficult to relate to someone who was content to stay in a minimum wage job or on benefits.

    It isn't about salaries for me, I wouldn't care what they brought in, as long as they wanted to achieve something in their working life. For example a lot of academics achieve great things in their research but don't earn much money. I don't think I could be with someone who didn't share my aspiration to achieve something they could be proud of in their work.

    If it's purely about wanting someone who can match your salary so you can go to nice places together then perhaps that is a little shallow. If it's about wanting to be with someone who share's your outlook in that way, then no I don't think that isn't shallow at all.


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What Guys Said 4

  • it depends on what you value more. some people value money a lot as a status and other people value character and passion more overall.

    • Well can you value both? I probably wouldn't even notice the money difference if some guys didn't feel the need to bring it up all the time. It just makes things awkward and uncomfortable.

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    • I guess I value someone who is financially similar to me. I'm starting to see that this isn't something I should feel guilty about, but money does matter.

    • i don't think you should feel guilty at all. its pretty normal and its what you want. nothing wrong with it.

  • i don't see what's wrong with dating a guy who makes less than you lots of guys have to put up with the reverse

    • Simple and to the point. You're right in principle.

    • Guys have the freedom to choose who they want to date, just like I do. If plenty of guys do it, good on them I guess. I just don't see why a good reason for me to date someone is because guys do it

  • In days gone bye Love was Love. Simple and easy.

    Is all America obsessed with the Dollar?

    Are you going to the right places/meeting the right people if the conversations are financially based?

    • Your last sentence said a lot. I don't often go to places that attract a people with a lot of money

  • Yes that's shallow. I'm a good looking guy who is a great father, loving person, fun interesting, good life. I'm told my only drawback is I got screwed by the company I worked at for 14 years, thus have to start again, and make little money so I have found it impossible to even get a date because I don't have money. What happened to love? When women complain about a lack of good guys I cringe. Why can't you fall in love with someone, and that be what's important? Not there money or lack of it. Guys do it all the time. I would have no problem sharing my good fortune with a woman. But as a man, most women won't even think twice, about me, because I am considered a failure because I am starting again.

    • *their

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    • Ya I'm totally wrong. how could you start to love someone without money? I mean really. Poor people can't possably offer everything else. You want caviar and he can't buy it. How could that be love. Happiness is related to his wallet size. Small wallet = looser. Go find someone rich and all the happiness of materialism is yours.
      A wise man once modestly proposed that the rich should eat the poor and save society the trouble of poor people. Good plan.
      Find a rich guy. Money = happyness.
      Fuk that guy. Such a shallow person deserves better.

    • Lol so dramatic

What Girls Said 1

  • I think thats okay. My boyfriend makes way more than me and he tries to pay for me a lot and I hate it. I pay my way.