When did you know?

I feel there are 3 main stages in any relationship

1) Initial attraction - this may not have been right when you met, it may have been days, months, or even years after.

2) Falling in love - after some time of dating, stronger feeling emerge. Some people fight these feelings... but eventually you accept the fact that this may be more then just a relationship... dare I say love?

3) Can't live without - the final stage is when you get to the point that you feel you cannot live without them... yes, you have accepted the fact that you want to spend the rest of your life standing beside them... for better or worse, no matter what.

So my question is simple, How long did it take for you to get to each stage? Are you not there yet? Why not?


0|0
33|11

Most Helpful Girl

  • #1 - I looked at him for the first time and that was it. December 18, 2007.

    #2 - Sometime in like 2009, I think. We weren't dating at this point. It's hard to say exactly because the feelings of infatuation and love are very close together and with my situation they just flowed together. I remember the exact moment but not the exact date. We were texting (still not dating, actually forbidden from seeing each other) and something just switched over. It's like you're in the shallow end of a pool having a delightful time and then you suddenly can't touch anymore and now you're in love.

    #3 - Sometime in 2013 probably. We started dating in 2011. But you always tell yourself that yeah, you like them, you may even love them, but you'd survive/get over it if they left you, but somewhere in there I decided that nope, if ever we broke up, I'd be done. I'd live of course, and I'd be a functional member of society, but I wouldn't date again.

    If I were being honest I'd tell you that I decided we were getting married about 30 seconds after seeing him in 2007. The other dates are just when said feelings were actually named and validated.

    5|1
    0|0

What Girls Said 32

  • 1) The moment I saw him, even when he had long hair and braces :3
    2) I think I fell in love when we first started kissing which was like less than a month after I met him, but we'd already hugged and hung out a few times. I wouldn't say it was the first kiss, because when I kissed him, it was only a peck on the lips out of impulse. He'd been teasing me all day, cuddling and being really close to my face so about ten minutes before I had to leave, I couldn't hold it in and kissed him. Then we kept kissing every now and then, in between each time, we would have a huge grin on our faces. I was surprised he liked me back, I thought he was the hottest guy ever.
    3) I think I felt that way after about 3 months. Before we even became official, we were saying the same things at the same time so I felt there was something there. He came to see me every day for over a month when I dislocated my knee so I could tell he cared about me, that was during the second month of our relationship.

    We're still together, 2 years later. This question has brought back some lovely memories, thank-you :)

    2|0
    0|0
  • #1 my boyfriend and I were attracted to each other from the first moment we saw each other in high school marching band. I was the drum major, he was on the drum line. Although it took two years for the timing to work out and for us to act on our feelings. Then it took about 6 months of us going back and forth and hanging out before we made it official.

    #2 3 months in, I knew I was in love. Lol the moment I realized this was sitting on a broken down school bus, (which took two hours to get back running), in our marching band uniforms, on the way to a contest. I don't know when he realized it.

    #3 the moment we realized the we couldn't live without each other was when I broke up with him 11 months into our official relationship status, right after I graduated. He had been so busy that we just weren't getting to see each other. It broke our hearts so much and at that point we knew that we couldn't live without each other. we got back together 6 hours after we broke up (: lol. And we've been together ever since. We're now 1.5 years in (:

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1. I naturally can find someone attractive, but not instant lust or attraction right away. He had to earn my time and then i got more attracted to him.
    2. I have had people fall for me instantly, but it took me a month to fall in love after dating i guess it hit me unexpectedly. I did try to fight it and conceal my feelings but failed lol
    3. As soon as i admitted to myself how much i loved him at the time i just was intoxicated and addicted.

    but i have a 4.

    He fucked me over and over and hurt me. Been single for almost 2 years now. He was my first bf, first love, we were together for 5 years.

    But I am single now and i am so not close to any of the stages. =\

    0|0
    0|1
  • Attraction is instant.

    Love comes before realtionship. I wouldn't greet into a realtionship unless I was in love.

    Feeling strongly doesn't mean marriage or forever. Just means right now I want to be with him and life would be very differnet without.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I'm pretty sure I'm still stuck at #1. We like each other, but we're both shy. He's made some moves but every thing that he's done has thrown me off completely, as they aren't consistent and i have no experience.. and neither does he.. so every is just slow. I haven't seen him in a month, and we dont even text or message. He sent me a text about 3 weeks ago saying that he thought of me and that we should hang out, but i wasn't in town so he said "alright, another day :)" and i haven't heard from him since a part from a new years message. Now i'm confused, and i dont know whether to just leave it (been going on since october) bc the progress feel like it's going backwards into nothing.. and although he made some moves, i just dont know waht im doing.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1. Immediately

    2. After probably 6 weeks we started saying we loved each other, but I knew earlier than that that I loved him. More like week 3 or 4. Really quickly, I know.

    3. I haven't gotten to this point in any relationship yet. My most recent bf (my answers to question 1 and 2) I thought I wouldn't be able to live without him when we were first breaking up. I was SO in love, wanted to get married, stay together forever and I was truly devastated when he broke up with me. But it's been a few months and I'm surviving.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Initial attraction was the first date, the first time we met each other face-to-face (we met on an online dating site). We had a lot of chemistry, it was pretty obvious. Falling in love.. that stage is more complicated to pinpoint. It happened leading up to and through the second month of our relationship, and the first time we made love. It was definitely by the fifth month that I reached the final stage. As of now we've been together for 14 months and this is just the beginning <3

    0|1
    0|0
  • initial attraction was about 3 months after we had met, i always had thought he was physically attractive, but after three months i felt like i knew him enough to be mentally attracted as well... if that makes sense.
    we started dating about a month after that and i started falling for him almost instantly, it was fast, we first said the L word about two months into the relationship and i whole heartedly meant what i said, and i know he wouldn't have said it if he didn't feel the same way
    were at the can't live without stage now, we've been together for a two years and 3 months <3

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1. My initial attraction only takes about 1 or 2 days. If i notice i m interested in a guy or wanna be his gf, i start my mission. Lol
    2. My falling in love part is during my relationship with him. But mostly, i love a guy as soon as i m in interested in him. My boyfriend is the one who i love.
    3. Can't live without means want to marry, right? Actually, i still haven't reach that part for anyone yet. Spending time with my bf, i start to know his weak points and something i don't like. So although i love him, i don't want to marry him.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Felt all stages in my last relationship... and guess what... I can live without him *shrugs* feelings change.

    1|0
    0|0
  • It is always hard for me getting to the last steps. My longest relationship was one year and for me it was based on sexual attraction, friendship and etc. Never love. He did say he loves many times and as I think about it all of my ex's did too, but for me it is hard to fall inlove.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've never been "in-love" but every guy I've dated or even just crushed on, there was an immediate attraction.

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1- days after, for me.
    2- not there yet, but dating. I guess it's because you need some time to get to know the other person, but there are stronger feelings than before.

    1|0
    0|0
  • 1) Attraction at first sight!
    2) I don't know... 4 months! maybe :D!
    3) perhaps 3...4.. years

    4 (unlisted)) i don't even know anymore ~

    0|0
    0|0
  • Stage 1: As soon as I met him, I knew I liked him. Whether it was just as friends or more.. I knew there was something

    Stage 2: I fell rather quickly... we weren't even dating a month when we said it to each other and ever since it's been a good thing.

    Stage 3: For this it took longer because we say each other every single day. It wasn't until we started not spending every day together that I got to this point. This was around 8 months for me.

    0|0
    0|0
  • #1: he teased me and told me I looked too young for my age, I hated him, a month later I accepted I had a crush on him.
    #2: the moment I kissed him, and the friendship disappeared and he picked me up and I wrapped my legs around his waist and we kissed for hours.
    #3: almost immediately, we started dating a week after we first kissed and it feels like it is getting harder each day to not be with each other.

    It was love at first sight.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well, until now I've only felt stages 1 and 2 and it didn't took me too long, stage 1 it takes a few secounds, I believe in "love at first sight" thing, but I would call it "attraction at first sight" and stage 2 it depends, if it's a connection or chemistry between us, if we have things in common and so on.
    In what stage are you right now and how lond did it takes you get to each stage, if I may ask?

    0|0
    0|0
  • #1 took about 2-3 months as I was not attracted to him at first. In fact, I found him rather repulsive weird I know lol.
    #2 took um maybe almost a year
    #3 took about 2 years and now we're engaged yaaay lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • Initial attraction. My instincts are sharp, and his looks are irresistible. That crazy combi for determining a life partner worked for me :-) I don't initially go for looks, although, I'm still not over it.. he is HOT! Damn. lol.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Scientific evidence says guys fall for a girl after 3 months. Girls take longer as they need to screen them first. This is a fact lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • it's like a paradox

    1|0
    0|0
  • So do u believe fall in love in first sight? My first and second stage happened at the same time. However I'm still not reach to stage three

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1. On our second date.
    2. 6 months after we we decided to be a gf-bf
    3. After almost 2 years of dating

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1. I knew as soon as I met him I was physically attracted to him. But I emotionally became attracted years later.

    Started dating in 2011. Engaged 2012. Having troubles in 2014. (good thing I put the wedding back to 2016. 😉) lol

    2. After a few months of dating.

    3. I suppose I'm abit too independent to always feel that I need someone to be able to live happily. However, when this relationship ends, I don't think I will date for a long time to come.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I believe this question cannot really ever be answered. The answer is entirely different with each person you fall in love with. Sometimes you know in a very short time, and sometimes people grow on you after years. Each person you love differently, and at a different pace the relationships will progress.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I think he was just asking for your personal experience lol.

  • I'm at 2) right now for 9 month's now. I was at 1) for 3 months. We broke up for a day then got back together that night. LDR but I'd do anything for him at this point so maybe im at the beginning of 3)

    0|0
    0|0
  • 1.) 0.7 seconds
    2.) Three months
    3.) After we broke up. lol

    0|0
    0|0
  • I haven't felt any of that yet : ' /

    0|0
    0|0
  • you are hot but I like someone hahaha

    0|0
    1|0
  • the intitial attraction was extremely fast for me at least. It started with a simple gesture him going out of his way to be kind to me. And that (for me at least) goes a looooong way.

    Falling in love took a little bit longer, being as both of us come from different ethnic groups as well as religious groups it took a while for us to actually connect on a more personal level however we were able to find solid ground and built up from there. This step took about... 5 weeks?

    can't live without also happened really fast for me, I had literally had the crappiest day of my entire life, I had felt like i looked like crap all day, (it was just one of those days) I had gotten fired from my job, (i was later re hired because the grounds for my firing were totally illegitimate) and on top of all that my father had told me he was disappointed in me which is the equivilent of being smacked in the face. Sobbing i was in my room and i hadn't looked at my phone since 12 that day. and there waiting for me was a text from him that simply said, you look nice today. There i was crying over the crappy day i had, and then after reading that i started sobbing, and i realized that he was my guy, nobody had ever told me something like that and meant it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • More from Girls
    2

What Guys Said 11

  • if 1) starts happening to me then it'd be better to start avoiding the girl for my own and her own good.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Well I hope this fucking happens to me at some point. But I like a girl who I'll have to LDR when I go to college in about 9 months...:(

    0|0
    0|0
  • 3 minutes. i proceeded to pay her and then she left. best 300 dollars i had ever spent

    3|0
    0|0
  • I feel like you skipped a stage between stage 1 and stage 2. what about the stage when you want to eat sushi off each others bodies? I mean, we've all been there. It's more than initial attraction, but not quite falling in love yet.

    0|0
    0|0
  • im not there yet because relationships suck

    0|0
    0|0
  • made it to #2 about 7 months in. im the kind to fight it, this girl im talking to now has me at 2 months :/ scared shitless.

    0|0
    0|0
  • #1 None.(or skipped (possible?))
    #2 2014, when I saw her again in school after summer break. I finally realized, I had feelings for her.
    #3 Has yet to come.

    I have no idea how I skipped #1... I don't think it's even possible. XD

    0|0
    0|0
  • Falling in love

    0|0
    0|0
  • You haven't been in many relationships or any for a long period of time if those are your thoughts on relationship stages. Just sayin

    0|0
    0|0
  • you forgot one stage: breakup

    1|0
    0|0
  • For my current relationship:
    Initial attraction - we met for our date through online dating and I was attracted right away obviously otherwise there wouldn't be a second date lol, same for her I believe

    Falling in love- I fell for her pretty quickly because she was everything that I wanted in a girl. I think it took maybe 2-3 months for me to blurt out the words I love you. Of course I had to say it first. No idea when she felt that way.

    Can't live without- I think this stage would probably have the highest variety of answers. For me I am pretty much there but maybe a few reservations. Waiting to maybe move in together first and see if things are still good...

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...