Honestly, would you prefer for the female in this case to make the first move?

Regarding dates, exchanging of numbers, paying for anything.. just a women going for it first, would you let it slide or feel less masculine
There's a lot of guys who say they wouldn't mind and when the it happens, Just completely reject it


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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 72

  • if a girl asked me out and im interested then ill go for it but you best be sure im gonna one up you ten-fold on date number 2 :)

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  • I think most people, male or female, like it when people they find attractive make a move on them, and don't like it that much when people they're not attracted to make a move on them.

    There are a few men who who don't like forward women. There are a few men and women who lose interest in anyone interested in them.

    Most rejections though it was just that the person wasn't interested.

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  • i remember something about a survey, on guys, about women making the first move (talking first/asking out) and something like 76 percent of guys said that they would prefer it?
    I wouldn't mind at all, i think like me a lot of guys fear both rejection and making a fool of themselves.
    Frankly, i would pay for dinner (on a first date, in a relationship, i dont care who pays, as long as it kinda swaps, so that its fair?)
    swapping numbers? dont really care, its not a big thing, nor is it immasculating
    i think it depends on some thing, but in general i dont think that if you were first even to everything, that i would find it particularly immasculating...
    but then i dont particularly think about how masuline i am or how feminine you may be,,, im a man, you're a woman, so whatever goes?
    maybe just me?

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    • Lol your survey sounds like they picked a better group than the last one I read which I think was 86% guys said they prefer to do it bc a womsn asking is too forward:)

    • by 76% of guys prefer it, i mean 76% of those guys would prefer a woman to make the first move,
      i mean, simply saying hi, maybe asking out on a date?

      Most guys just dont wanna be rejected i guess, so that want to know if there really is interest, of any sort?

  • You women have it really nice. You get chased. After my ex divorcing me after 25 years. Knowing I was made a fool of for all those years. Loving someone more then anything on this planet but finding out she never loved, or even cared about me? that is extrememly hard to get past.
    So I told my therapist I would love more then anything for a woman to chase me. For her to make the first move. At least I know her initial interest is genuine.
    And it is beyond awesome when the woman kisses me first. I have had that twice since I started dating again. Since I am on the online sites and so many men are just degenerates I stay away from sex and sex talk until the woman brings it up. But I don't think of kissing as sex, it is just fun. And my ex didn't like kissing so I have a lot of time to make up lol...
    but through the whole second date I try and think how I can try and kiss her but still not make her think I am just after sex.. yada... then to have them do it first is perfect.

    So I urge any woman to go after the guy... they will love it.

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  • It's fine. I've had women make the first move with me, and sometimes I quite liked that. Just keep in mind two basic things...

    1. Same rules apply to you, as to guys. If someone politely turns you down for a date, best odds are to just forget it. Don't be a creeper.
    2. Don't beat around the bush and try to drop hints continually to "make him ask you out." It's not a great idea. If a guy was interested in asking you out, he would. Beating around the bush is annoying and cowardly... I knew several girls who wanted me and played that game. They were my type enough to ask them out, but if they had had the guts to flat out ask "hey, let's get drinks at xyz on friday" I would've given them a chance.

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  • In all cases women shouldn't be afraid to make the first move. Takes a lot of pressure off both people.

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  • Honesty I had a girlfriend who bought me food, tickets, and gave me rides all through town and I was perfectly fine with it. Just don't make too big of a deal if he wants to do the same to keep a sort of balance.

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  • girls should absolutely initiate more often. A lot of time guys are not getting the right signals meaning some girls are not good at giving them to us. my gf now knows exactly what she wants and lets me know in subtle and not so subtle ways. Some times she will say that I would just like to stay home tonight. Other times she might grab a handful of my crotch and say come on lets go, but she also let me know in advance if the "store" will be closed so I dont make a move and get disapointed

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  • In my experience, women who have taken the initiative tend to be more willing to participate in the relationship rather than be a "doll" so to speak. In my opinion, the only men who feel emasculated by a women making a move have an old fashion way of thinking. Not to say that that's a bad thing, it's just a distinction in a persons needs in a relationship.

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  • I would be scared to make the 1st move. Yeah I am a guy but when you get so many "no's" and you may think she may say yes, but you are not too sure and just tired of it

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  • its fine
    i actually find it hot if she makes the first move, it shows that she is strong as a person

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  • Many men have "approach anxiety." It's only human to be concerned about rejection to some degree. If a girl likes a guy and offers him her phone number without him having to ask for it, it's very positive, in my opinion.

    Usually the guy has the responsibility (burden) of planning the date. Call me old-fashioned, but I think the guys should plan the first date and pay for everything. Girls like to feel that they are "special" among other women and an expenditure of time, effort, and money is proof of that serious interest. It's VERY nice on a first date if the girl OFFERS to pay for half. Paying for him is emasculating. Of course, he has to insist on paying for her. But the OFFER is appreciated. On subsequent dates (especially if both of you are young) it's fine to go dutch.

    I am older and the women I date make plenty of money but they still want a show of chivalry. So we can agree that if we dine out I pay the check. If we order in it's her turn. Her girl should only pay for the guy for a special occasion, like his birthday, for example.

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    • If Iask a guy out I'll feel special if he accepts. I won't feel special if he rejects me Bc I asked him out even if he tries to make up for it later. I'll just think he plays games.

  • If you're sincere, and the guy likes you and believes you arn't bullshitting him or playing around, he will NOT reject you.

    If he doesn't like you, he would reject you.

    There is doing it... and doing it right. It is the difference between this that makes it or breaks it.

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  • It would be refreshing now and then BUT I know a girl will go for a guy with confidence over a guy without. Having the balls to go over to a girl and chat shows more confidence than waiting for her. So I would rather approach and its not because of the girl, its the competition from the guys. A guy may grab you if I stall to long.

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  • Actually, I'd love to if they do. That means the second move for me is gonna be easier.

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  • Yesssssssssssssssssssssss!!! just for few things like for exchanging of number then for sex we like to initiate her first , because these two things are most valuable to them they used to give after a good impression on him or trust on him or else they like him, then only they will give these two. Which it will helps us to go for next level.
    Then for payment issues and for dating we will initiate it

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  • I prefer if girls initiate, but thats probably because i'm always paranoid of misreading the situation.

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  • First off.. I would be very surprised... after I picked myself up off the floor... I would be very flattered.. Never had it happen to me...
    I have always been quiet reserved and shy.. so rarely have asked myself.. (prob because of rejection when younger)
    I usually find out a year or so later that the girl really liked me and was waiting for me to ask her out and she didn't want to seem pushy..

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  • Not to bad, some guys may want to do that out of pride. I would because of gentlemanly action (especially or buying things)
    It's not a necessity, and neither side should make a big deal out of it.

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  • I think its a compliment for a hot chick to make the first move.

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  • yes i would love it if a girl asked me out

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  • To be honest I would love for women to really start making the first step when it comes to numbers, and dates. I am a shyer type of guy, so that's why i say this. When it comes to dinners or drinks, kind of thing I could suggest exchanges. He pays, then you, then hi again and so on.

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  • To me, the girl making the fist move, whether leaning in for a kiss or asking me on a date, is a big turn on. That would even tip the scales if I was unsure if there was chemistry between us.
    As for the girl paying, I prefer being a gentleman and paying, opening doors, walking arm in arm, that kind of thing.

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  • If a girl made the first move, I would welcome it. Not a lot of girls would do that of course.

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  • I've been asked out twice, and was surprised everytime, i really like it, and i feel like i have to respond with the same sort of passion, so i think its good.

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  • I love it when a woman is forthright and uninhibited so sure let her feel free to make moves and take control

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  • I usually like to pay for dinner and such, but sometimes my fiance will cover it. It just depends on our moods and what we're doing date-wise.

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  • "paying for anything.. " <---- that's wrong for both genders basically... each should pay their own

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  • Of course, I prefer assertive girls who always make the first move.

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  • I have no objections for a woman to make the first move.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 16

  • I like making the first move # 1 bc like moSt people, it simply makes me feel good to do something and know yiu. An do it and feeks like shit to wait around for soemone else to do it.

    # 2 I like to make the first move especially if the guy has an issue with it Bc I want to know upfront that that's the kind of pereon im dealing with. Which isn't obvious as long as he feels like he's the one doing all the work. And few guys would be honEST about it or even know themselves they have an issue with it until it happens.

    # 3 I like to make the first move bc it is efficient. IntErSted I want to find out as possible if he's intersted so I can move on if he's not. As apposed to hating and waiting and guessing blech !

    #4 It's an adrenaline Rush:)

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    • I like making the first move # 1 bc like moSt people, it simply makes me feel good to do something and know I can do it. Inversely , feels like shit to wait around for soemone else to do it for me.

      # 2 I like to make the first move especially if the guy has an issue with it. Bc I want to know upfront that that's the kind of preson im dealing with. Which isn't obvious as long as he feels like he's the one doing all the work. And few guys would be honest about it or even know themselves they have an issue with it until it happens.

      # 3 I like to make the first move bc it is efficient. I want to find out as possible if he's intersted so I can move on if he's not. As apposed to flirting hinting waiting and guessing blech !

      #4 It's an adrenaline Rush:)

  • It's a huge turn off when I am on a date and the guy can't split things evenly or let me pay because he feels emasculated... Most guys I've talked to would love it if girls felt more comfortable asking for dates and numbers, even if they don't want to date the girl it makes them feel good, just like it would for a girl.

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    • Feels good for the girl too... Even if he isn't intersted.:)

  • I made the first move with a guy I really liked in high school. Put myself out there told him I liked him. He walked away to smoke a cigarette, I nearly died inside when he did that and when I confronted him maybe 15 minutes after to know what he thinks about what I said he said he liked me he was just in shock. 21 years later we have 3 kids and he drives me crazy in every great way. Sometimes you just have to go for it, it can be worth it ladies.

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  • women should make the first move as well but most won't and i don't get why. not once in my life i have been rejected

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    • If you look at all the people saying women shouldn't that might shed some light on why a lot dont. I think it's not do much the possibility of being rejected by the guy bc he's not intersted, but rather the threat of being rejected socially just for asking him out,

      I didn't grow up in that kind of environment so I just think it's crazy when people stress about who asks who... But a lot of people its like the gospel truth... Shane. Must feel stifling.

    • most girls i know personally are scared of rejection from the guy. i'm not saying what your saying isn't true but in my experience its because the girls are scared of the rejection. i think its so stupid.

  • I dont think you should do everything yourself. It just doesn't sound right and men will never be comfortable with the idea.

    they dont want to be seen in public with a girl who pays for everything even if you were the one who asked for that date.

    It sounds to me more like you're babysitting the guy

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  • I'm more for equality. It would be crap if nobody wants to make the first move and you're just stuck there. We're in the 21st century (checks calendar) , last I checked so it's nothing wrong for a girl to take initiative. Well, if the guy doesn't do anything after some time then he's blah. :3

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  • I think a woman making the first move is great but letting her pay for the first date is a no no in my eyes.. even if she offers. On some level she'll pay but lose some respect for you and if she doesn't she wants to have the power in the relationship..

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    • So? If she wants power why is that worse than him wanting power?

      I mean if wanting to pay first means you want control... than following that logic no one should ever pay for anyone else.

  • (This is my guy friend typing)
    It's cool to initiate some things like a date or exchanging numbers, but not paying for things or choosing where to go. You have to let him know that you're capable of doing things for yoyrself, but you are recognizing and allowing him to take control, letting him be masculine.

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  • In a guys dream world, it is the female that is hot that should make the first move.

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  • I prefer when a guy ask but if I really want to and he's not doing anything i go for it. Sometimes they get nervous and don't want to look stupid.

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  • yes that could be good guys are insecure sometimes too.

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  • sounds like you should

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  • I did it and my boyfriend... well yeah, he became my boyfriend, what more do you need?

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  • i love doing it, it feels me powerfull

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  • The man should take the first move always

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  • I think a guy should always do those things first.

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