How will I ever get a boyfriend as a 20 something virgin?

Most guys find out within a month of knowing me because the topic of sex comes up and I get all silent and just blush until there's an awkward silence. Then the guy asks if I am a virgin and of course I tell him the truth...

Then one of 2 things Always happens: he's very interested in seeing me more often in hopes of having sex Or he slips away because it's overwhelming.

Before I even get to relationship status things go sour once the sex talk comes. I just wish that I could get to know a guy for a few months without him knowing my (lack of) sexual history.

I want to lose it to a bf who's not just looking for sex but it's been almost impossible to find!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • im 20 and virgin too. And you should not be ashame, nor proud.

    BUT, if the guy is already talking about sex in the first date or so, maybe you are not searching at the right place?

    Like, what im looking into a woman is a shy, faithful, sweet, lovely girl. Im not gonna search into clubs or things like that.

    But at least, I love your mentality :) Not wanting to waste your virginity to a jerk, waiting for the right one. Your the girl version of me :) ) at least about that)

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    • Good to hear guys like you are out there!
      I'm shy but I'm trying to work on being more outgoing... I'll stay sweet and kind though because it doesn't feel right to be mean

    • just be yourself :) dont try to be outgoing, just to attract more guys. I prefer shy girls way more than outgoing, and some guys too. But others prefer more outgoing.

      So all in all, just be what you are, and a guy will like you for that im sure :) But if you really want to be less shy, and more outgoing, thats not a bad thing too, do what you want :)

Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 4

  • then tell them you're not a virgin if they ask you

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  • im not a virgin, but im not experienced at all, so unless she brings it up, i never talk about sex with a girl. i think that sometimes its even a bad thing for me, because i think that they expect me to sooner or later bring up that topic, and if i dont i think they think that im a wuss lol. im just a really shy person and just feel embarrassed talking about it. maybe you will find a guy that is also so shy that he just won't bring it up

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    • Haha I wish but I kind of avoid shy guys because they confuse me too much and I always have to be the one initiating contact

    • well what can you do then haha
      but i guess it would depend on the guy (i have to defend shy people a bit here lol)
      just because im shy doesn't mean i would just stand there and expect you to do all of the contact initiation, or you always leading the conversation, or whatever. im just a bit more introverted and dont feel so comfortable talking about certain subjects, specially with people i dont know that well. but i always tell you exactly how i feel about whatever, to avoid confusion. just sayin... lol

  • Would I be right in thinking that you expect you'd want to have sex after getting to know a guy for a few months? Perhaps instead of telling him you're a virgin (early on anyway), just say that you don't feel comfortable with that type of thing until you know a guy better. Some guys might still leave, but that might help you avoid the guys who become more interested because you're a virgin - if they don't know you are, but think you just want to wait a while they'll probably just lose interest - which is probably a good thing (I don't think you want that type of guy?).

    While most people would have had sex before they're 20, there are still quite a few, particularly guys, that haven't - I'm not sure if they'd be more understanding though.

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    • Good point, I never try to say that I don't want to talk about it because I feel like he'll definitely assume that I am a virgin

  • Ask that question as a 20 year old virgin guy. And you are never going to "lose it" to someone who isn't looking for sex.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I really understand where you're coming from, I was in a very similar situation where it seemed that once a guy finds out he either runs or is becoming more persistent in his persue, and for some reason it always feel like someone is trying to steal something from you. I think sex and virginity especially is held on such a high pedestal and most people are just afraid of their first time not living up to the ridiculous fantasy that society forces on us, the guy you lose your virginity to doesn't have to be your one and only first and last prince charming, heck you don't even need to be in a relationship with him, you need someone you trust who you feel comfortable and safe around..

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  • Then just wait for marriage golly

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  • Avoid sex talk just talk as friends first

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