A guy hangs out w me when I ask but never initiates - should I move on?

I've been seeing this guy for about a month and he'a driving me a bit mad: he's chatty and down to hang out when I contact him, but has never contacted me first or asked to see me again since our first date. And I'm lucky it I get a response from him in a timely manner or to something that isn't a direct question.

I told him it makes me unsure if he wants to see me and that I don't want to do all the work, & he apologised and said he didn't mean that. He also said he'a not looking for a relationship, which is fine bc I'm not either. But he hasn't fixed the problem, & I haven't heard from him since I saw him Sat (no response to a "thinking of you" text or to a couples links I sent on facebook).

My ex was a lot of work, so this isn't new to me... but for th life of me I can't tell if he likes me lol. Should I just keep playing it cool or does he not like me and should I move on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I would just move on... You both said to each other that you aren't looking for a relationship, so I'm not really sure what you expect? You're sort of sending him mixed signals, saying that you are not looking for a relationship but then sending couples links. You're probably confusing him because from your description, I'm not even sure what you want.

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What Guys Said 2

  • I think that when a person is really interested it seeks what it wants. He isn't making any effort, so I think he's not so interested.

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  • Yeah, probably.

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What Girls Said 3

  • Are you sure you aren't looking for a relationship? The guy that i like, sent me a text saying he thought of me and i mean, if he asks i'd definitely go out with him. But if you guys are strictly friends, then it shouldn't matter so much if he initiates hang outs or not. I think you like him... but should move on.

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  • Why do you care so much when you say you don't want a relationship? He clearly said he's not looking for one but yet you send him a thinking of you text. What should he answer to that? You should move on.

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  • well, to me (and probably to him as well) it seems that youve made a friend basis here. he's said he's not looking for a relationship and youve told him the same. but then you send him a "thinking of you" text and a couples link on Facebook, which probable made him think you are looking for a relationship. he probably likes hanging out with you and talking, but the reason that he won't initiate anything is because he's not interested in dating you. if you really are worried, id say ask him if he just likes you as a friend or something more (if you feel up to it), or live with the fact that you will have to be the one to ask him to hang out.

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