Met a girl from Syria on Facebook... am I being an idiot?

OK, so this girl sent me a friend invite on Facebook. 25 years old, from Syria, studying medicine in Ankara, Turkey. Her name checks out - there is a student by her name attending med school there according to Google, along with two friends she has named and their corresponding facebooks which are also mentioned on the university's web site. She matches her (many) photos posted to Facebook when we do video chat. Her surroundings look like the dorm she says she's in when we do chat. She hasn't asked for money, she hasn't pried for personal information. We've been talking for three months, and she's amazing.

She sent the initial friend invite, but I've been the one to pursue regular contact between us. We like each other, a lot. She wants to meet me when she comes to America for her internship. Things have been going great, and from what I've been able to verify on my own everything seems on the level, but I've read so much about online dating scams and identity theft that I find hard to shake off.

A bit about who I am: I am a 28-year-old guy (my name here is a pseudonym) with no prior dating experience. Never kissed a woman before, much less been in a relationship, much less a long-distance one with someone from another country whom I met on the Internet. Am I being an idiot? Is there anyone out there who has done anything like this before and made it work?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She seems genuine. But continue talking with her until about a year. Tell her you don't have much money or something and if she stops writing, then well, you know.

    Remember, scammers' goal are usually either for visa or for money. Or both.

    My friend was recently also scammed for money by an American guy. I've already warned her repeatedly to be careful since I saw how happy and excited she was mentioning him as her boyfriend. I've even heard them talk on the phone, and they both are not young. Her kids are 16 and 19. But in the end, he gave her false hopes of coming over to Germany, starting a new business together and then close to the date he said that he got scammed by his friend who was supposed to help him with the visa and stuff, and now he has no money left so would she please send him some money. She did, and I immediately told her to just forget any hope about her getting either the money or the promise of him. He's a scammer and she, a lonely divorced woman in her 50s hoping to find a new love, had been his victim. Shit.

    Anyway, back to you. Talk a lot longer before you meet, and even then, never suggest that you have money. And once she mentions money or bringing her to the states, run like satan is chasing you.

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    • I appreciate it. She's actually coming to the states on her own this year for an internship through her university; I've been helping her look into cost of living for different parts of the country. She has never suggested she would need money from me, and she wasn't deterred from talking to me by the early revelation that I don't make a lot. I don't want to reveal too much about her in respect to her privacy, but I get the impression her family was relatively well off.

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    • Thank you. :)

What Girls Said 2

  • If she never mentions money or needing help financially, I don't see what the scam could be.
    Accept that you found happiness, just continue to keep your eyes open.

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    • I appreciate it. Like I said, I have next to no relationship experience - after all this time I guess I'm now learn to take "yes" for an answer. I just wasn't sure if anyone else out there had met someone online overseas and seen anything good come of it.

  • Scammers don't really video chat and stuff with fake pics, so you know that's her.
    Love scammers don't ask for money straight away, and tbh, I don't see why people get tricked because the stories are usually so transparent and hardly ever vary from victim to victim.
    Just be smart about it, which you seem like you are. Scams happen, but so does love. You won't know which it is till you let it flow.

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    • Thanks. I've been trying to be smart about this. I read about some scam in which a person was led on for nearly a year, but it was posted by a company which offers to do private investigations on these kinds of things, so of course it's in their interest to scare people.

    • Yea it does happen, just have to be smart about it. a lot of them prey on older people to, like young guys in their twenties taking to a 50 year old woman or some 22 year old talking to a guy who's like 40 and stuff.

What Guys Said 3

  • Give it a shot. You seem to have done your homework on her and aren't being stupid. Sometimes you just gotta close your eyes, say 'fuck it' and jump.

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  • Yeah your being a idiot.
    If you fall in love with her realistically the chances are you are going to get your heart broken.
    Or your going to pay a small fortune to actually be together.
    Either way it's not worth pursuing at all.
    And if you do, as soon as you possibly can you want to get her on webcam, that's the only way to truly know your not being catfished and she is the person in the pictures.

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    • Oh and if she ever mentions money block her.
      She is in a very poor and corrupt country, there is a reason why she messaged you other than your good looks don't you think?

    • He mentioned doing video chat with her already

    • @Staceyzee yeah I somehow missed a full paragraph when my browser refreshed. Cheers.

  • This just sounds weird

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    • Believe me, I didn't see it coming either. We met because I got involved with charity work for people displaced by the conflict over there and commented on related news articles on Facebook.

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