Does it really matter that much?

I'm black and adopted, my family is white and I live in an all white community, I'm a pretty interesting fun person and as awkward as it is to say about myself I'm pretty attractive too, but for some reason I find it really hard to catch the interest of guys.. I'm 20 and never had a boyfriend all my friend don't seem to have trouble finding guys, no one ever really says its because I look different but I really can't think of another explanation as to why my dating life is so lacking.. I don't really know how to phrase this as a question I guess I'm just wondering if skin color really matters that much to you guys? As there are no cultural differences and I'm a pretty nice girl, what else could be wrong?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Umm, I think a lot of guys just have preferences that don't include blacks. My friend wouldn't date one pretty much no matter what. I think it is pretty ridiculous of him, and slightly racist, but I guess sometimes taste is just taste. I have been with a few black girls, and I find any culture has beautiful people. I am sorry this is your experience, but it usually says more about the people judging you than it says about yourself. Just make an effort to meet more people, try online dating, and don't be afraid to ask guys out. I'd probably go on a date with you... but that doesn't mean we would end up together forever lmao.

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What Guys Said 3

  • it doesn't, to me anyways. some guys will say they would never date a *insert nationality*, but not all guys are the same.

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  • To some people, skin color or ethnicity does matter. As old-fashioned as it may sound, many people have prejudices about other people based on their looks. Of course skin color shouldn't matter, some people just make too big of a problem about it. I suggest trying to find more nice guys to become friends with, and if you encounter the right one, you might score yourself a boyfriend. Some people have prejudices about other people but get rid of them when they get to know the other. To me, the most important is the person that is under the skin, and I wouldn't mind dating someone that looks different than me if I truly loved her.
    Don't get discouraged, it might be that you just haven't encountered the right one!

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  • Your ethnicity does matter. Most humans only marry within their race and a majority only date within their own as well. Sorry.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think the race thing does indeed matter when it comes to romantic interests, but a lot of that is perpetuated by stereotypes and cultural upbringing. I personally get along with and went to school with a lot of very dark skinned black people, but when it comes down to considering someone for a relationship I have a lot of other things in mind that might cast doubts. Some of these are possible for you to influence, and some aren't. Fortunately there are people everywhere that have different tastes ;)

    In the interest of full disclosure, here are the things I think about if I were considering dating a black dude, and most of it is based on first impressions/style:
    - Does he present himself well? Does he seem like someone who is career-driven, well-spoken, and educated, or someone who takes whatever they can get? (a lot of this is influenced by the way he dresses and behaves in terms of body language, and a stereotype that tends to ring more true in my experience)
    - If this became a serious relationship and we had kids one day, would I want my children to inherit curly, nappy hair? (this is probably my most shallow thought about it, but a consideration nonetheless)

    Really, the first bullet point should not be based on race at all, but I've found people making assumptions more often in that respect (and really, with any race).

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  • It depends on the community around you. I am sorry if that is the case.

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