This year at university, I met a guy and we became friends. One drunken night, he asked me out on a date and I drunkenly agreed - thought it would be a fun thing to do as friends. The 'date' was great and actually ended with a kiss. He then kept asking me out on more dates, and I've continued going - not knowing what else to say (I couldn't think of a reason to reject him as he's nice and all past dates had gone well). All dates have been good, we talk almost every day, and I suppose we're unofficially dating (we haven't spoken about the fact that we're in a relationship and often act as just friends, but we keep having intimate moments as well). I should be happy. This guy is great and seeing him message me always makes my day a little better. But - I am just not attracted to him. I wouldn't consider myself vain but admit that physical attraction is an important part of any good relationship. I tend to get a lot of compliments from guys about my appearance and tend to be quite successful with guys when I go out. This guy however, isn't good looking - to the extent where people often talk about it disrespectfully.
I like this guy and I know he likes me too much to just go back to being friends - he seems to have really fallen for me. I like going on dates with him and even kissing him, but I just feel like the lack of physical attraction is going to prevent me from ever really seeing this relationship as being really serious and long-lasting.
How should I handle this in terms of what to think, how to act, and what to say?
I'm expecting a lot of answers to be that I should end it as soon as possible. Is there any way I could keep "casually dating" him and maybe even explain to him gently that I want to keep things casual? Or is this a bad idea?
Most Helpful Guy
I dont think you should try with him. What might happen, if your not attracted to him in the slightest, is the risk of cheating are way higher. Like, one night, you could be drunk again, then a really hot guy comes and talk with you and etc...
If you think there's no chance you will ever be attracted to him, stop right now.
And you should stop ''casual dating too'' or at least, make sure he knows its between friend, nothing more.
And as for how to tell him? well first, dont tell him its because he's unnattractive.
Just use a more cliche one and say: Hey, Paolo ( fictional name), we need to talk blablabla...
Then, you are a really good friend paolo, and I wish we could have been more than that, but I just dont feel anything more than friendship. I tried really hard, I know you are an awesome guy, and was very happy to go on a lot of date with you, but, im sorry paolo, I just dont feel ''love''. But ill be more than happy if you want to stay friend with me. You are a really sweet guy :)
Then you walk away, one single frozen tear running down your cheek, and sing : what is love? baby dont hurt me...
Ok, maybe not the last part, but the rest is the best option in my opinion for you and Paolo1