My friend is hanging out with my ex lover?

Is it weird that my friend and my ex lover (who I still have feelings for) still hang out together because their kids (from different baby mama and dada's) get along?

If I knew that a friend had feelings for someone I would back off and let them be together but she has been this way, right from the start and it ended up putting a strain on me trying to establish something with him with her trying to do the same thing.

The poor guy only ever wanted to be friends with us in the first place.

When he told me he did not want anything serious that was fine, but it got hard having to hang out after that then that situation as well. I opted out. Did it to keep me sane lol.

Another mutual friend of ours mentioned her mentioning a situation like this to her. Wondering if she should pursue? My friend was surprised and even mentioned to her friendship comes first.

Surprised someone would even wanna pursue someone their friend has been with. I would never do that to a friend. It's to personal. Even if it was not a serious thing.

It seems silly that this got like this to me. We have not even known the guy for they long. Shakes head.

Never thought I would end up in a situation like this. Especially in my 30's lol.

Updates:
He tells me he has no romantic feelings for her and when I asked if he was being honest about that he said yes.

I do understand if their kids get along they would want to hang out because of that regardless.

Just do not trust her motives and that she may end up disrespecting my feelings is what is getting to me.

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What Guys Said 1

  • creepy! but that's part of life. not really sure what to suggest you to do but as a guy I would say he's a player since beginning. sad for you and your friend not realized early. you should reach out for someone else better and see how he feels about you or your friend in general (jealousy is the key here). and yes stay with the better guy and warn your friend how he is after you realize the 'real him.' for a sexy girl like you... won't take any longer haha. ;-)

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    • Yeah. I am a bit weary of him as well. Another reason I stopped sleeping with him.

      I told my friend that he had no feelings for her. I mentioned that if she got with him he would probably just use her for sex as well. She tried to use sex to get a relationship to.

      This was after I found out what she told our mutual friend.

      He seems nice though. I have met his neighbours. Both my friend and I has met his parents. Shrugs.

      I ended up telling him to be clear to her if that what he is saying to me is true about not having feelings for her. Was upfront with it all. She pushed me to it. Kind of laughed after it saying a bit of an ego boost for you. Kept that as light as I could and said just want no confusion between anyone. Got no response of course. Just leaving it now.

    • Felt bad doing that. Just hate what she has been doing. Like I said left it at that and have not bothered him since.

      Yes. Definitely keeping an eye out for someone better. :-).

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