How to deal with deployment?

My boyfriend is getting deployed in February and I don't know how I should handle this. I asked if he wanted to work it out and he said he's nervous I won't be faithful because of his past relationship. I don't want to lose him but I don't know if I can handle being away from him from over a year, considering we've only been dating for a couple of months and I'm about to start college. If anyone has any advice or is going through the same thing, it would help. :/


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Been there, but I was married... my advice is to not make any kind of serious commitment, be 100% honest always, and if you guys are still interested after the deployment then awesome. Just keep in mind he's already sacrificing so much and under a tremendous amount of stress so do right by him

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What Guys Said 9

  • Froom your own description of your feelings, I doubt you will remain faithful to him. Don't know where he is going, but there is likely going to be the opportunities for him to cheat in that time. You would be better off deciding to continue communicating, but not trying to be exclusive until he returns.

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  • People go through long distance relationships all the time. Basically that's all it is.

    When you're in a situation like the one you're in now, you ask yourself a question which is - do I like this guy so much that I am willing to wait (and pass up any opportunity of meeting someone else) for him to come home. If the answer is yes then you just have to get on with it.

    But, you do have to be careful to be really honest with yourself. Do you really feel that way? Or are you just saying it because you don't want to be all alone? Or - you're scared of hurting him just before he goes into an unbelieveably intense, dangerous and stressful environment etc? If its the latter you have a duty to him to let him know and say so.

    If I were you, I'd give it a go - but keep an open mind. College is an incredible chance to meet people you'd never have imagined before. You'll change as a person and you might end up wanting different things than you do right now - so to tie yourself to a post before you know all the possible exit routes is an unwise decision. Go with the flow and see what happens.

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  • It is better to cut him lose and resume when he gets back. You will not have to try to remain faithful. Being honest about this upfront is so much better than saying you will be faithful and end up screwing up. (pun intended.)

    My brother was married when deployed for two years and when he cam back he had a 3 month old child... that was pretty messed up.

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    • Damn, that's very fucked up. And I'm not worried about cheating. I know I can be faithful. But I already deal with depression and anxiety and he's someone that makes me feel better no matter what. I'm worried that I'll just go downhill being away from him for so long.

  • Go bang some hot stud to cope with it. Everyone's doing it. In fact, I may be able to point you in the right direction.

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    • No, that's horrible. Would you want your girlfriend doing that? I'm faithful.

  • Do not stick with him! He made the decision to leave you behind for a year. You're going to college, if you stay in a long distance relationship, you will miss out on so much fun! Cut him loose

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  • Isn't being in the army great? Time away makes the heart grow fonder... or was it time away makes the heart grow colder. I can never get that one right.

    There's no advice to be given, you either accept it or you don't and end up cheating/breaking up.

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    • Being in the military does not necessarily mean he's in the army. He's a marine. But thank you for the "advice."

    • So he has more prestige, still does what he's told. Same thing, just better at it.

  • Is it really that hard to be faithful? Sure your hormones may be raging, but if you care, suppress them. Or cut the shit and break up.

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    • It's not hard to be faithful, asshole. It's hard trying to get someone's trust who's been cheated on before during deployment. Doesn't matter now, he dumped me.

    • Better to deal with being dumped now, rather than later... going in to the army/military is one of the hardest things to do, and I think he thought it was best that he just end it now... sometimes, the quicker the better

    • Yeah, I understand.

  • Because blacks are getting our job. Obama does not like whites
    Blacks our enemies

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    • That makes absolutely no sense.

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    • Okay your comment is getting reported

    • Why girls like you love bid black dick?

  • There are starving children in Africa, and this is what you choose to complain about?

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What Girls Said 1

  • It's really hard but you get through it if you love each other you guys can Skype and kik so you don't get lonely it's fun to send him care packages while he's away get a hobby that will kill some time I date a guy who was deployed for 9 months it was really bad the first few days but it gets better it's only hard if you see it that way if you are worried about staying faithful then it's best that you don't stay in a relationship the worst thing you can do is dump a guy being deployed is enough stress

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    • My current boyfriend is in the military I always dread it when he has to go away but I'm faithful and the thought that he'll be in my arms again keeps me going.

    • Well I only hope for the best for your boyfriend and you. And I feel the exact same way, I don't know what I'm gonna do without him but I know the thought of us being together again will help me get through it. But thank you for the advice

    • Yeah its not as bad as it seems you get to talk quite often and text it just sucks bc he's not physically there

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