Is it so bad that I’m not interested in this guy because he’s white and short?

Is it so bad that I’m not interested in this guy because he’s white and short?

So I met this guy after a night of my friends and I going dancing and having dinner! He and his friends started chatting with me and my friends. I really enjoyed their company just in the way that it was refreshing to actually have a night on the town and not have guys talk to you like you’re a piece of meat and they have a hidden agenda! They were just so cool, funny, chill, and wanted to talk about whatever. I can definitely get those vibes that this white guy is into me *I gave him my phone number because I was slightly drunk* and I’m not into him like that. I think he’s cool and I enjoy his company on a friend basis but
1.) I just got out of a heart wrenching relationship and I am through with committing passion to men for now. It’s time to focus on me and be passionate about things that aren’t going to make a mess out of my heart.
2.) He’s slightly shorter than me when I have on sneakers and I love my heels
3.) I’m not all that attracted to him physically
4.) I’m just through with dating and dealing with the games that men play and the damage men can do
5.) I’m paranoid about dating white guys because no offense, but they are usually ALWAYS prejudice or think that offensive racist comments and/or jokes are okay and acceptable when they’re not. I’m not interested in dealing with the possible unawareness that white privilege creates within a lot of white people.

He keeps trying to hang out and hint towards something romantic which I find annoying and pushy like stop forcing flirtation on me…I don’t want your lips on me and I don’t want to date you. Why do so many guys get pushy with flirting so early on? It puts pressure on us girls. Why does a good connection always have to be transformed into something romantic on a guy’s part? What should I do about this situation?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Because guys aren't looking for females as friends for the most part. You tell him something like this "I really enjoy talking to you, but I don't have any romantic feelings for you. If you feel you can't continue as friends, I respect that, but know that I do not want to date you."

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    • This is a really great idea! Thanks!
      I guess you’re right…when we become adults for the most part, guys are not trying to find females as friends. That’s so annoying. I hate that because then it makes me feel like guys are typically going to have some ulterior motive of wanting to screw me or date me when I am genuinely sick of romance/dating/relationships for the time being

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    • *sighs* you’re right, I guess that’s all I can do. Thanks!

    • that's so true. :P

What Guys Said 12

  • "5... I’m not interested in dealing with the possible unawareness that white privilege creates within a lot of white people."

    I remember this one time when I was hanging out my buddies, one was Asian, one was middle eastern and the other white. So we almost had the entire world covered with our multiculturalism. So they decided to go to a park and smoke weed; the only person that got paranoid was me; cause I thought cops would roll up on us and give us major problems.

    Anyhoo, the rest I can understand.

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  • Just take care of him as a friend and if you like to change your mind later all doors will still be open!
    Try to avoid prejudice. Just learn to know him as a person and be honest to him by telling that you're not immediately attracted to him physically but that you enjoy a nice chat.
    Who know, maybe in 2 months you'll be happy you didn't trash him :-)

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    • That was a really mature, eloquent way to address my comment. I’m never going to actually tell a guy I’m not into, “Hey, I’m not attracted to you physically” because that’s just rude! : / I know it takes a lot of courage for guys to put themselves out there like that and I’d feel horrible puncturing their self-esteem and adding insult to injury!
      You ever been in this situation?

    • Haha, admitted: no!
      You're probably right, the way of telling it would not work :-)

  • It is and isn't?
    I would say its not, if you aren't attracted to white guys, or short guys, well, that's up to you, you can't really change what you're attracted to?
    However, I don't (personally) like your reason for not liking white guys.
    Or a little about your comment to yaddayadda,
    I can understand that a lot of guys don't look for female friends, and that quite a few guys make completely inappropriate jokes, but if you have that outlook from the start, how can they really show you otherwise?
    Maybe I'm just naive in my way of thinking, but innocent until proven guilty, I think, give a guy (or girl) a chance, not everyone is the same, I don't mean try to pretend every guy is a saint, just try to not assume a guy will be a certain way?

    As for your question, just tell him, be very simple and to the point in the way that you tell him, and it should be fine.

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  • Why bother asking this question? It's not like if some one says that "no it's very wrong of you to think that way" then you'll suddenly change your mind and start dating the guy - you still won't go out with him.

    Oh and you're racist towards white guys for labeling us as prejudicial.

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  • right, let's start by saying you are attracted to whomever you're attracted to, so no it's not bad you don't want to date him, better than being in half a relationship

    but "I’m paranoid about dating white guys because no offense, but they are usually ALWAYS prejudice or think that offensive racist comments and/or jokes are okay and acceptable when they’re not. I’m not interested in dealing with the possible unawareness that white privilege creates within a lot of white people" made me chuckle

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    • Lol, why did it make you chuckle?

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    • I will reply simply to say it’s silly how you have adopted a teenager’s behavior at your age and to let you know that this post is partially devoted to you : ) www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1293965-ladies-is-it-just-me-or-is-it-extremely-unattractive-when-men-are
      Also to let you know that you have wasted your time and energy talking to me because I literately read only the first sentence then decide that you’re just a little girl who likes to talk mess online lol Anyway, take your last word and hopefully you can be more of a man in the future.

    • And still you reply! Pahahaha

      You can't even see how stupid you are can you?
      what a silly silly racist you are :3

      Didn't waste time or energy at all actually, this was all too easy as you did all my work for me, making yourself look like a hypocrite and a racist loser :3

  • Well after reading this monumental amount of nonsense, I think you'll be doing this little white midget a favour by rejecting him.

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    • It’s not nonsense just because you don’t like to hear it. If you’re as old as your profile suggests, then you should learn how to be respectful and courteous on someone’s post without calling it nonsense just because you disagree with it. Show some maturity.

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    • LOL! Get a life, you sound ridiculous. If you truly believe “victory on a silver platter” can be achieved on Girlsaskguys. com then you’ve got bigger things to worry about than some passing stranger. You must not have many life accomplishments to define a simple exchange of words as “victory” lol, pathetic.

    • You're so right.

  • Who you are attracted to is your business. Nobody can dictate that to you. That said, as seen from the outside, you do come across as more than a little racist against whites.

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    • Thanks for that answer! I’m really not racist against whites, I just don’t think there’s anyway to be honest about admittedly noticing that without stepping on a few toes. I realize that not all white people are that way and there are good-natured, integrous white people who wouldn’t dare do what I said. However, I can’t deny I’ve noticed an endless, countless amount of whites who find offensive racial jokes and comments acceptable, despite how inappropriate they are. Doesn’t make me racist against every person who accidentally inherited white skin: just makes me honest about what I’ve observed.

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    • Sorry, but when I didn’t mentally prepare myself for white people slipping up and making inappropriate, racially insensitive, offensive comments…I was caught off guard and slightly hurt. So it’s better to just hope for the best and expect for the worse. I mean no offense to you because you didn’t personally do it, but at some point and time, white people have literately screwed over every single ethnic group on the face of this planet…this is the ripple effect. So yeah, I don’t assume that white guys are the bad guy, I just don’t put it past them.

    • Basically: as a white person, for the most part you don’t have to constantly be reminded that you are white in a negative way. Sure, you get irritated when people bring up white privilege but you can walk into a store and not have to worry about people suspecting you’ll steal, you don’t have to worry about your kid leaving the house and being shot six times by a cop over something petty when he could have just tazed him/or some self-appointed wanna be cop killing your child because he looked ‘suspicious’, you don’t have to worry about your work ethic being questioned or judged simply because of your skin color…I think that’s enough, I’ll stop there.

  • just be straight with him. it saves him time as much as it does for you.

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    • I just don’t understand why so many guys have to be so pushy in creating a “strictly dating and/or flirting” tone to a connection. He seems really cool and we have some creative, artistic common interests. I would have loved to have him join me on some projects but now he’s gonna make it all awkward because he assumed that I wanted his romantic advances.

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    • Well, I know if you reject him it will hurt him a lot. But that's the way it goes. If you aren't in for a realtionship, then it's better to reject him off. I think the best is to stay away from him. From a recent experience I had with my crush that rejected me (please don't feel pity about me :P LOL) it helps me a lot more to get over her if I don't have contact with her. Though I am still processing with the broken heart, it goes much faster if he doesn't see you or have contact with you.

      I even tested that on my part-time job where my rejected crush and me had a conversation. It just felt so hard and depressing. Although I smiled and talked with her casually, it broke me inside. :((

    • Awwwh damn : / how long had you guys known each other?

      This guy and I haven’t even gotten the chance to solidify a connection without him trying to initiate that connection being romantic and I just find that to be so annoying.

  • If you don't want to date some guy, don't. Simple.

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  • you must watch nba

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  • Bit racist, and judgmental, eh?

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  • "but they are usually ALWAYS prejudice or think that offensive racist comments and/or jokes are okay and acceptable when they’re not." hahahah
    hilarious

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    • Key word “USUALLY” and it’s true. I look racially ambiguous so some white people forget that I’m not a white person and I’ve heard all types of racist jokes and offensive comments that white people think are okay, funny, and acceptable. It’s very off-putting

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    • man... did you not say that you are "not reading anymore of my dramatic, whiny nonsense"
      why do you keep answering? are you still crying and defending yourself?

    • Drama Queen, please go lick your wounds elsewhere.

What Girls Said 4

  • It's cool you don't want to date right now i don't blame you for what you've been thorugh, however guys shorter than you... i wouldn't kick it until you've tried it lol i had a physical relationship with a guy shorter than me, i'm 5"7 and a half and he's 5"5, he was basiclly the cutest the thing ever, i mean 5"5 isn't too short but you know... it was a really refreshing experience and he made me feel so wanted because some love to climb mountains xD lol, however... short guys can also be assholes lol yes i'm talking about him :P.

    I get what you mean about guys being pushy though it's a huge turn off and scary when they do that, also he may not be wanting a romantic relationship maybe he was just looking for a fling, it was a night club afterall, guys can be nice guy still want a fling, they can be smooth and charming as hell till they you out they aren't into you in a romantic sense, the smaller guy i had a physical relationship was like that. I would just not worry about it and let him come to term with the fact your not interested on your own, however a guy acts AFTER you told him no isn't your fault, that's his fault alone so i would wrap it up and just tell him the next time a girl talks to him it doesn't mean they are interested, girls are aloud to have a perfectly nice conversation with a guy without romantic attachments lol, then after that don't say anything.

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  • It's not bad. Maybe you have a "preference" for tall and other coloured guys.

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    • Oh gawwwd, the overused, unoriginal concept of ‘preference’ is not the answer to every unattraction -_-

  • You're free to be truthful to him.

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  • You don't have to feel guilty for not being attracted to someone regardless of the reason. You don't owe him anything. If he texts you to hang out or whatever just let him down gently and hopefully he'll get the message.

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    • Thanks girl, it just sucks because I genuinely do enjoy his company and I’d love to hang out and joke but he’s made it so awkward and uncomfortable for me by aggressively trying to make something romantic out of the connection. *eye roll* it’s SO annoying. Not every female wants to be pursued romantically. Like he’ll make comments like “Well you must have felt a connection to share that with me in the first convo” or “Just so you know, don’t smack me but I’ll probably kiss you when we first hang out.” WTF way tooo forward.

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