No sexual experiences at all?

I am female and as you might have alredy read I have zero sexual experience. And by that I mean I have never hugged a boy, kissed a boy or anything else. It's not like I wasn't attracted to boys. I really am but I never really got a chance to interact with someone like that. I usually hang out with my girl friends and never really with guys since I'm quite nervous around them and most of the boys I know are total idiots not even lying. I really want to have someone in my life like that. But it's like I have never really done anything sexual. by the way I'm not totally ugly to be fair. I'm very intelligent which might scare some people off. What am I supposed to do. And question to you guys would you start something with a girl that's no sexual experiences at all?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It’s better that way. I was just like you up until age eighteen when by chance, I met a guy who treated me like a princess and made the wait completely worth it. I’m 22 years old and over the years, I have seen that typically being overly sexual in your teenage years tends to make a female codependent on men, she seems to have create an unhealthy dynamic among the relationship, and the way her relationships progress miss some more important intellectual and emotional steps. Or in other words, most of the girls I know who couldn’t stop dating and f*cking in high school are either pregnant, have a kid or two, or generally struggle with intimacy and relationships. It may be hard to see now, but you’re young and your personality is still developing and growing so it’s often best for you to make this phase of your life about that and not about romantic advances from guys. Here’s another benefit in your situation: most of these guys out here are sleazy and they play games ESPECIALLY in high school. They’re trying to stroke their ego half the times they get involved with a girl. It will be nice to lose your virginity to a real man and not a horny, childish teenage boy.

    So, what do you do? You live your life, enjoy your life, create beautiful memories, and accept that there are so much more enriching, fulfilling things to be passionate about besides the opposite sex. One day, the right guy will find you : ) Trust me.

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What Guys Said 26

  • You are under 18. You have plenty of time for sexual experiences.

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  • It's unfortunate that some parts of society are demeaning virginity. It can be a very special thing to maintain and it can be detrimental to lose in certain situations. There are symbolic and/or spiritual reasons to maintain it not to mention that there have been said to be psychological and/or biological reasons as well.

    But to answer your question, some guys would likely have an issue with it. Granted those are probably the guys just or mostly trying to get in your pants. Guys that respect you, want what's best for you, and care for you are probably much more likely to wait until the time is right. It all comes down to patience.

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  • "And question to you guys would you start something with a girl that's no sexual experiences at all?"

    Yes almost al guys would, and quite a lot would prefer to be the first.

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  • Yeah those are the type I would marry. However its rare to find women like that now a days.

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  • Heey!
    Join the club.
    I'm 20 , hugged , kissed on the forehead but beside from that I'm about as experienced as you are.

    Pretty darn conservative where I came from , kinda culture shocked when I arrived in the great wild west lol

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  • That's a good thing.

    Guys like inexperienced girls.

    You dont wanna turn to a slut do you? Currently you're the opposite.

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    • Whats wrong with being a slut?

    • Show All
    • -Competition with her exes
      People get enough competition from around the world, and when a guys is with his girl, he want to relax and be himself instead of competing with her many exes to show her that he's the best. Things get worst when you've seen her ex. If a girl is a virgin or less experienced, you very well know you're the best she has ever been with or the likely hood of you being the best is high.

      -It's unfair -- sex is about opportunity for guys, for girls it's an option.
      If given an option, girls can have sex with any guy they want and never be sexually unsatisfied.
      But guys have to compete and starve.

      If girls loose nothing by having frequent sex, then life as a girl is definitely better than a guy.

      So you must loose something every time you have sex by someone except your soul mate.

    • -If the guy is himself a virgin (not by choice).
      She was hanging abound with her BF, fucking around where as he was starving for a relationship. He definitely could have used her favors. A relationship is about being together in good and bad times and sex is tied down to a relationship. The reason why the guy was unhappy was lacking a relationship and sex -- the very basics of a relationship while she was giving it to someone else and was perfectly happy with it. So they're definitely not together and there's definitely no connection. It's the opposite.

      An argument that the girls may make is that: "He got me first; if you would've hit on me, I would've accepted"; but that doesn't change the end result.

      Besides he was also trying and she whould've probably rejected him cause he probably got rejected many times. So the girl is lying. She probably wants to date him now cause he's beta.

  • Yes I would but what else I can say is that keep being who you are because there's nothing wrong with you Hun your just fine and there is a guy out there that will like you for you honestly I would be with a girl that has no sexual experience at all because you nothing everything in this world so for sexual experience that's this something your going to have to just go out and get it that's how you learn and if you have the right guy that knows you have none he will so much more than will to take his time and take all the time to want to teach your me personally I prefer a girl that has no sexual experience to me honest but that's just me

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  • Why do people think they have to have sexual experience? No, they don't. Not to have anything like that, I think that's pureness. But anyway i respect all people about their opinion.

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  • You need to relax. If you are very intelligent, then it's not unusual that you aren't dating in high school. When you get to college you will soon get a lot of attention from people just as intelligent as you are. And no one will worry about your experience or lack of it. It can be lonely at the top, but this will end very quickly and you will be looking back thinking "Why did I think that was important?"

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  • you say you're under 18... how old are you? if you'reunder 15-16 then don't worry you're still young

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    • I'm younger than that... but that doesn't change how much I want a guy to hold me in his arms and tell me he loves me. I do understand what you mean though.

  • i'm just the male version of you except the hugging thing... i hugged a few girls back but no romantically but friends... i really just dont care if no girl dont have a sexual attraction towards me but i know it sucks but i have to accept reality... being whinny doesn't help me at all

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  • I've only hugged a girl and a kiss on the cheek but I'm pretty inexperienced too so it wouldn't bother me at all.

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  • Relax. Everyone starts somewhere.

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  • Intelligence isn't something anyone has. Do you want to know why boys act like idiots. They act like idiots because they are entertaining themselves. Playing stupid to avoid consequences. Using it as a way to judge others fairly. It's actually a bit more complex than imaginable. No Sexual experiences. Lol. Turn off the TV. Sex, love, relationships is over rated, over stated, over.. everything. If you want love. What is it that you have done to receive love. Smart people never waste their time telling themselves they are intelligent. They prove it.

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  • Well, well, well. Here I find myself in the same situation as the anonymous asker. Wait until after you graduate, then things will change a little bit.

    It's very common, that people = idiots in your age of range. However there are some exceptions but they are rather uncommon.

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  • Well your under 18 so I am sure you have plenty of time for that, how old are you?

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  • When I was 16 and my gf was 15 we gave each other our verginits and we had no experience , it was kind of fun exploring and figuring things out for the years to come.

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  • The primary factor in attraction for men is physical appearance. The more you can do to improve this the more attention from guys you will get. As far as sexual inexperience this is not an issue becuase if you are physically desirable guys will want to have sex with you regardless. If you are not physically attractive, or want to increase your options exponentially start practicing flirting and availibity. Demonstrate to men through your words and actions that you are friendly and want to have an interaction and the interest and attention that you get from men will increase 1000000x

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  • You're under 18. No one is expecting much

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  • I think its something to be proud of. It's something special you should save for the right person. At the very least someone that isn't going to leave right after. Everyone likes hugs though

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  • you have lot of time further, and you are scared to keep a relationship but you want it.

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  • I'm the exact same way except I'm basically 22. Your under 18 though so that's definitely normal

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  • You still have plenty of time... I'm 36 and still have no sexual experience :(((

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    • Omg I don't know why but I feel like I wanna be like the movie 40 year old virgin and I'm 23 with no guy and sex experience so I feel kinda unique.

    • I'm still afraid that I could end up like that guy in the movie :(((((

  • I'm kind of in the same situation also.

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  • Don't worry, I'm in the same position. It's lonely, but I guess it gets better once we have more liberty. At that point, we'd be dating people. We're still in pre-university school so don't expect a lot.

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  • I am in the exact same spot, except male and 20. So obviously hearing something like that would make me less nervous about doing something wrong. And I know I'm pretty much the last person to have any grounds in saying this but, just wait for it, eventually something will happen. And if you aren't one to wait, you can always push for the experience in order to have it, but that would trade quality for promptness.

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What Girls Said 66

  • Your under 18 don't feel pressured, i know these days people make you feel there is something wrong with you if you don't date or haven't even had sex but there isn't, i'm 24 and i still haven't ever been in a relationship, i've had sex but it wasn't until i was 18 and legal, but i've just not found the right one for me, you are young though so just focus on school or whatever, trust me... it will help you out so much if you not aways focusing on sex and boys all the time, also even someone who people deem "ugly" there is always someone for them too some where :) so don't worry about your looks. As an intellgent girl yes it can intimidate others and people may think that you think your better than them or something... i get that all the time but you know it's not true... but use that big brain of yours to do something great with your life for now, then when you get to college and stuff you can then think about hanging with like-minded guys who are intellegent and like mroe meaningful conversations too :).

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  • Guys will definitely prefer a girl who has no sexual experience to a girl who has had several bfs. Because a girl who has had bfs can compare him to her exes.. even if the guy is really kinky or whatnot, worst case scenario is he has to teach you and honestly that's what most guys like anyway. They like to know that they are the one to make an innocent girl not so innocent or what not.

    But anyway, I know that feeling of feeling inadequate in terms of lack of sexual experiences and feeling like really embarrassed too if I may add. And I made the mistake of rushing the physical side of my relationship with a guy I liked to the point that it was more physical than how much I knew about him. And I really really regret that. I wish I had gotten to know him more then only explore us being so physically involved. I had my first kiss at 22 by the way. So, really, if you think you are alone and lacking, DON'T. YOU'RE NOT. So many girls are just like you but sadly it's more socially accepted / desired for a girl to be wild rather than 'tame' sexually. And most girls just don't voice it out that's why it seems like you're alone.

    I wish I gave my lip virginity away to someone who really appreciated me more, not just what I could give him physically.

    Anyhow, whatever you choose, think it through because retaining your innocence and wanting to have sexual experiences are two opposite ends. My advice? Don't go to some extreme just because you feel insecure about your lack of experience, but do it bit by bit. Some middle ground and only with someone who really appreciates you.

    Sorry for the long essay.

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  • Well girst of all your under 18 it's fine I think you are at a good age where you want to start something different like dating. You honestly just have to be more flirty not so much and go out to parties more where there will be boys and don't be scared it's not that hard and once you do it more you will see there isn't anything to be acared about plus guys don't bite haha take your time or try to talk to a guy whom you don't quite find attractive and go from there sp you won't be as nervous but practice makes perfect so get out there!

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  • Well you are still quite young, so I think that it's good that you haven't had any sexual experience yet. You haven't had physical experience either, and that's ok. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. I have a few friends that range from 20-23 who have never done anything either (no boyfriend, no kissing) Media/Society sets the tone for what is and isn't normal. So I'm. Sure you feel pressure that you're inexperienced and everyone else seems to be. But relax. You're time will come. And the worse thing you can do is try to rush it. Physicality and especially sex is not something that you just get out of the way. It's definitely fun, but it's best when it's between someone you really care for and someone who really cares for you. If a guy isn't interested in you bc you've "never done anything", he's looking for the wrong reasons. Skip him. But you should also not make your lack of experience a big deal. Because then it sounds like you think your value is found in your list of triumps/dirty deeds. Just be you. Be patient. Be with someone that likes you and your intelligence, then let the physical stuff run its course. Hope this helped

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  • First of all, it will be hard for you to even touch a guy if you are nervous around them. You need to create a mind set that boys are human too, you can hate them, love them, befriend them just like with girls. Just because its a guy it doesn't automatically mean you guys should go out. I think its best if you don't look at boys as just people to be sexual with. It's better to be friends first and if you guys have chemistry, then your sexual tension may grow. Not being experienced at being sexual shouldn't affect your friendship with a guy. Just be more open and friendly around guys :)

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  • Some of my friends were like you as well. In the ages between 16-17 and virgins. Then, they end up meeting some of what girls now in days think of "the hottest guys in high school", the guys take their virginity and then treat them like shit. I am not telling you how to live your sexual life, but being a virgin is pretty damn special and it's something to be proud about. Do not overwhelm yourself with these thoughts, for you have a very long sexual life ahead of you. Do not rush it. By this I mean in general. Do not rush into a sexual relationship with someone you just met, or have known for about a year. Get to really know them first, get to see their bad side, or slowly get to know that one side of him he refuses to show everyone else because from what I have seen most guys tend to have no souls when it comes to sex. Sex is natural and its suppose to be the most passionate, romantic moment of your time; but if the emotional connection does not balance out with the sex, or vice versa if you do not feel the emotional connection at all, then this will overwhelm you. For now, just enjoy life and live the moment.

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  • Some guys only go for girls who've done nothing. It's not a huge deal breaker there's probably many people your age who've done nothing, they often lie and say they have. You're under 18 so it's not like you're going to be like this forever and it's normal at your age. Don't think about it now, think about completing school, your time will come.

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  • Well, if you are waiting to find a guy that isn't a total idiot, you might still be unkissed when you are 50. So you are going to have to lower your standards just a tad :-) I've kissed several idiots, and idiots are good kissers, so don't let that stop you. Anyway. . . a good chance for a kiss will come sooner than you realize, just close your eyes and do it (you won't be sorry). As for actual sex acts, I don't recommend rushing into that, WAIT until you've met a really nice boy and you and he have been dating for several months, and only then should you consider doing anything that involves contact with "private" parts.

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  • You are no different from the gag virgins here.

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  • Just wait for the right moment, it will happen! Trust me we as women & men especially younger in age are always very nervous about these type of things. That's completely normal :) In my experience it just had to happen as it happened. I didn't try to stress or worry about it & it just went along as normal. Sometimes we can get impatient but trust me you'll know when the time is right

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  • First off, if most of guys you know are idiots, you probably don't want to have anything to do with them.

    Second, this isn't as uncommon as you seem to think. Lots of people for a variety of reasons simply never get around to having anything to do with guys. Up until recently, my two best friends and I were, if not famous, then at least known around town for having little to do with guys. For my friends, it changed when they got jobs and met more guys they hadn't grown up with. For me, it was when I graduated high school and finally took my nose out of a book long enough to realise that other humans walk the earth. It varies from person to person.

    Third, I've met very few guys who didn't find innocence attractive. Again, the reasons why varied, and there are exceptions to every rule, but a lot of them liked being the first and getting to teach their girlfriend what they specifically liked. Like painting on a clean canvas versus paint-by-numbers. Painting by numbers is easier, but it's not necessarily going to be exactly what you want. Get it?

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  • Don't rush it, I've only just had my first kiss and lost my virginity at 20. :) There's no rush to get out there, enjoy life now there's plenty of time in the future.

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  • Like others have said you're still young. I had my first kiss at 18 and lost my virginity at 19 and am completely satisfied with the fact that I waited for the right person. Just enjoy yourself it will eventually come. If you like a guy go after him but don't go after a guy just to have the experiences.

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  • please Im 18 and ZERO experience in anything sexual... haven't even kissed a guy. you're under 18 anywasy... so much time dont rush into things. Sex can have a huge impact on your body and mind wether you want it to or not. Just have fun.. go to malls, movies, out to eat... not sex... sex can wait when you're over 22.. when you have more experience in life.

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  • Haha it's not about experience, it would be so awkward to do it when you don't know what to do next LOL, I'm just like you, I get nervous around guys haha, actually not really, I only get nervous around HOT guys, the rest? Heck care. Haha, it's okay, because your so smart guys think their not good enough for you, find a guy who's on the same league as you :)

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  • It says here youbare under 18. I think you are too young to worry about not having any sexual experience at all. If i were a guy ofcourse i would love to have a little aomething with a girl who doesn't have any experience at all but if i were you i wouldn't think about it that much. Time will come and you will experience it too. Just enjoy being young, sexual things will eventually happen. Lol. Just dont worry for now. You are normal and perfect in your own way.

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  • I was like you once... Well I'm still sort of like you. How I got over my nerves is I just went for it! Because I realized that you can't live life being afraid or too nervous to do something. You just gotta do it. Put your nerves aside and put yourself out there! And I'm not saying go out and have sex with the first guy you catch feeling for... Save sex for someone really worth it. Don't rush it. But that's advice for another day. Lol. Just go for it! (:

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  • Ofcourse they would because they want to be the first for everything, guys would love to think oh I taught her everything she's knows! Don't worry

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  • You should not be worried! Just be confident with yourself and always let that confidence show. You're still very young. In fact, if you try and do something with a guy right now just to gain sexual experience, you will get your heart broken, trust me on that one. Find a man who will like you for you even if you're shy and have no sexual experience. When the right man comes along, maybe when you've graduated, or even later, with him you will gain all the experience you need. Just be very careful not to let the wrong guy touch you.

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  • Don't rush it. You're still young so live while you can. Sometimes, relationships aren't all that. Relationships can pull you down and prevent you from doing anything else because you're so caught up in it. But then again, being in a relationship with a guy you really like is good because you have someone there for you all the time. But really, don't worry about not having any sexual experience because you have plenty of time and there's so many people out there that are older, and still have no sexual experience.

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  • Sweetheart how old are you? I didn't lose my virginity until I was 23. I kissed a boy when I was 20. It will happen.

    Guys would be seeking out an inexperienced girl for their egos. But don't ever feel pressured to start something. Wait until you have your first love, then things will go smoothly.

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  • You are young, I got to experience it when I was younger but at the same time its not necessary. You have lots of time for those opportunities to come. Dont Rush it and everyone has their limits. And for a first time for someone I wouldn't go crazy or have crazy expectations

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  • Hey, I"m in the same boat. and from the answers on here, it looks like we're alright. I'm just gonna wait until i get a boyfriend that i really really like and then kiss him, etc. hopefully.

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  • Don't worry about it. You're under 18 and have plenty of time. I didn't kiss my first boy till I was 20. Just do it with someone you trust and can comminicate with. It may not come naturally but practice makes perfect.

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  • I'm 18 about to turn 19 in March. I kissed one guy on a truth or dare, i haven't had sex, or a boyfriend. You have plenty of time to find a guy. Since going to college, I have had three guys ask me out. All you have to do is be yourself and meet new people. One day you'll make a good connection with a guy you like and he'll probably end up liking you.

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  • If you are really so worried about it, do some research. p*rn , now I know there's a bias because it has a lot of misconceptions, but you'll get the gist of it. Whatever you need, google usually has the answer.

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  • Chill girl, the opportunities will come.
    Just be open to where life takes you. You have a lot of time time explore.

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  • I have had my first kiss which totally sucked liked hell
    I hug boys like its my way of saying hi
    Apart from that, nothing further has been done. I don't see myself in that position of getting into anything sexual right now. I'm trying to focus on getting good grades first

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  • I'm in the exact same situation.. Not even a hug or kiss.. For religious and cultural reasons..
    And hell I'm TWENTY ONE not so easy huh..
    But that's ok.. I'll wait till iv found the right guy and he'll be my first and last. So don't worry ur still very young

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  • OMG!!! while reading your story I actually felt like I'm reading my own autobiography written by someone else, we have the exact same stories not even a single phrase is false about me... XD well done u wrote an awesome autobiography on me

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