Girls, would you date/give a chance to emotionally detached guy?

Hello.
Well here's the deal. I am moderately, tall, muscular, only tad overweight and I've been told I am attractive and have good sense of humor.
The thing is that I just find genuinly connecting to people hard. I've been also told I can be sometimes cold and inconsiderate which came as a surprise to me since I really don't consciously act like that.
I am somewhat emotinally detached and have been so for a long time. It's very hard for me to recognize other people's emotions and sometimes my own too. It's not like I am unfeeling or anything. But I just find it extremely hard to show feelings casually. Therefore I can'T just walk up to a girl and be charming as hell right from the very start. I am the kind of person that needs to warm up to a person and learn to trust before I feel at least somewhat comfortable showing real me- which can actually be quite open, sensitive and romantic. I don't thing I'll ever learn to be completely open from the start or to be charismatic charmer so basically I would like to know if there are some girls who would have patience with guy like me.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • As long as you can understand, sympathize, forgive and apologize. If those things are very hard as well, even when you're in a relationship, then I think I would have a difficult time because I am a very emotional hehe (not in a bad way, like drama queen style, but my feelings are very intense - that means all feelings).

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    • Thanks for insight. I deafinitely can sympathize with people's feelings if I get them or if their are explained to me. I also can admit when being jackass and apologize, I got OK self-reflection I think. Forgiving is kinnda hard for me. Small thing - shure. But I still hold years old grudges and can't help it very much. You see the thign is I can be very emotional too. It's just that you wouldn't know it by looking at my face. It's almost reflexive. Simply put even the girl I'd like very much would have to be aptient with me and give me time to get comfortable with her and learn to trust her before she would get any real affection, care and intimacy from me...

    • I think that wall you have might cause you some problems with relationships of any sort. We are all different and we have different things we need to work on and improve and maybe this is a thing you need to work on and improve. It's not easy and it will take time, but if you try to, I think you will benefit from it in the end.

What Girls Said 2

  • I know exactly how you feel i'm kind of the same way because i'm not a trusting person at all for MANY reasons, i tend to be interested 1 min and then i need to back off and i'm rather cold, it's very difficult indeed and i've had people try to change me and even my parents think that it can be changed... it's SO annoying... especially when i've had people try to push me out onto someone else to try and get me to talk to them... but i'm just not like them, it's the most awkward thing to ever experience... not to mention humiliating for me.

    People treat me like i'm being rude, ignorance and self-centered and just childish... I AM NOT LOL if people actually had paitents and just sad down with me and had a legit conversation with me istead of just every day stupid gossip or trying to find out who i fancy just to make me look like an idiot... id trust you... lol but it seems behaving like that would get you no where... lol. I wouldn't date a guy like that though... i think being as shy as we are we need an opposite who loves shyer people, with me and you it would be just like :D o_o <__> :) :(... LOL because nether of us can start the conversation so we would be hearing crickets.

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    • Somebody understands! Yes. I rearely enjoy pointless talk about bullshit. But people so rarely talk about something of substance. I am not shy per se. I can approach girl when I recognize opprotunity and I can without a problem ask questions on chock full lecture, speak to gatherings and so on. It's jsut the connection that's ahrd for me. On a few occassions I spoke about deep, emotional stuff with close friend I had to consciously push myself to be hones. It's not easy and few people get it.

    • Yeh i get people just asking me straight out very blunty in front of other people to tell me about them and then EVERYBODY looks at me as if it's an expectation and it makes me feel pressured, why can't they accept me for who i am instead of trying to get me to behave like them? straight away i bolt it because they just made me feel totally self-concious and humiliated. In a college class i was in when living in scotland they would do those things and well... i knew i couldn't trust them, they didn't invite me to hang-out ether like there was something wrong with me, i didn't care to entirely know them quite honestly after all that lol. I mean i can speak 1 on 1 but in a group of people i just feel like people are always trying to compete and i hate it because if i don't compete and try to gain some sort of power foothold i'm suddenly an alien :\ lol so it just makes me distance myself from others even more.

  • yeah why not! you sound awesome :) I think its perfectly normal. I think if someone really takes the time to figure you out then they are definitely worth your time. some people aren't going to be understanding of that. as long as YOU know your polite and not cold or inconsiderate there is nothing to worry about..

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What Guys Said 0

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