I should break up with my girlfriend I don't know how?

We've waited a year to see each other next month we will be able to because I told I want to move out with her. She is turning 18 and her parents wouldn't let us see each other. Whe. I said all that shit I meant it and when I told her I love her I did too.

She is so distant sometimes it will go a week without her trying to contact me. She acts like she doesn't care yet gets really emotional and messy every time I've ever brought up the relationship. Her sketchy behavior made me accuse her of cheating. She goes right back to where she was acting like she doesn't care. She will even nudge me off sometimes if I text her.

I don't know if she is really low maintenance or insecure bur either way it's exhuasting and I don't know if I want to move out with this girl because I have no idea whe re she stands or is thinking half the time.

Can't even see her In person right now so I don't know how to break up.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • 1. Calm down everything will be okay
    2. In about three or four years your gonna read this and be either embarrassed or die laughing at yourself
    3. Your relationship sounds a little fantastical. how much do you really know about this girl and I mean really know? Not stuff like her favorite color or her favorite band. Do you know much about her relationship with her family? Do you know if she ever thinks about being famous? What about her biggest insecurities or her favorite memory? What do you two do well together? What are some of her positive characteristics? Does she know any of these things about you? Seriously how well do you know each other?
    4. Why is breaking up so difficult? If you don't like her end it simple as that. If you're afraid of doing that ask why? Do you you really want to break up or are you simply quiting because you don't know how to make the relationship work? and if it's so hard is this really the right relationship anyways? Is the good out waying the bad right now?
    4. If you really want to break up call her tell her how you feel and explain calmly and compassionately that you would like to break up. She will be hurt and she will cry but she'll hurt and cry a lot more if you continue to try and be in a relationship you don't want. In person would be better but calling is the least you can do.
    5. Simply because I've ran into this before. If you have not physically say down in the past and came to the mutual agreement verbally and reached a clear understanding that you are in fact dating then you are not dating and it's best to just stop because you may have already crossed into harassment teritory judging by her behavior. If this is out of the ordinary and fairly recent behavior then please call. Either way after the call cut it off. Cut it off as clean as possible. Zero contact. Give her stuff back if you have any of it then cut clean so that both of you can begin the process of grieving and move on.
    6. Good luck

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    • Sorry did step 4 twice

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    • In all honesty no body knows what they're doing. We're all kind of fumbling around tryna figure what to do. Don't try to read her mind. It's not possible. Your best bet is to pay attention to yours. This is your life not hers. I went through a five year on and off again relationship with a girl. Her dad hated me because I wasn't the same race as him. Her mom got divorced for a second time and remarried Over the course of us dating. My ex still can't keep a relationship going for more than six months. I tried really hard to stay with her but eventually I stopped. Not because I didn't love her but because you can't fix other people you can only fix yourself. Now it's half a year later and I'm stuck deciding between several gorgeous, funny and ridiculously intelligent women. And she's still my friend and currently going through therapy. Her behavior much like your friends probably is had nothing to do with me and she still stuggles to explain herself.

    • So don't focus on her or the relationship. They're out of your control. But your behavior your thoughts and your life can change if you focus on you. My ex went to therapy because she noticed how much I changed and she's a lot better now. You can do the same. Focus on what you can control and try your best to just relax and let the rest happen. Aka if she's not calling don't worry about it if she's seeing someone else you'll find out eventually. Just keep being normal you.

What Girls Said 1

  • Id leave it dude her parents are clearly controlling and by going on about it your making the situation hard for her... it's not her fault her parents are over-protective so id leave her be, if her parents find out you have been talking to her they will go utterely balistic at her so don't make things harder for her, i know how it feels because i can't go out with a girl without my parents saying he isn't good enough, they even say things about any friends i make saying they are "weird" and when i go out any where even after like 5 hours being out they sart to panic and get worried even when they know id be out later (and they were actually like fine with that), yet they go back on it and then panic when i don't even answer my phone for just 10 mins lol and when my phone is dead they go mental on me... so yeh... it's a very hosile and controlling enriroment to live in, not nice whatsoever. It's just not going to work out without her parents getting in-between you both.

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    • The thing is.. she can easily contact me and talk to me. Yeah not in person but over phone she can do it easily. And she made the choice of me over her parents.

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    • We are exclusove. We talked to her parents after a year. They won't accept it.

    • Honestly it's not going to go well... i've seen these situations before and every time the parents took a jack hammer to their reationship every time... i can't see it ending good especially for her... she would be the one having to deal with the conisquences not you.

What Guys Said 1

  • "Hey. I'm breaking up with you. Sorry. Bye."

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    • Damn cold bro!

    • No matter how nicely you write a rejection letter the person on the other end just read "Fuck you" in several hundred words. Same thing here.

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