He has a gf but has been talking with me. Help?

Him & his gf are apparently on bad terms and he's been talking with me. I swore I wasn't gonna get feelings and now I have them :( what do I do now?

Updates:
I'm trying to put myself in her shoes.. but he and I talk all day every day and he's all I think about all day and I'm starting to like him
They broke up yesterday... not by my force but his own choice

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Most Helpful Girl

  • http://becuo.com/dont-do-it-meme

    Please don't talk with him unless you know for sure.
    I went through the same thing not too long ago. And it ended in a way I wouldn't have wanted to. We are in highschool and he had a gf when I met him but still told me he loved me and he showed it. But I wasn't falling for it. But he almost had me. But I saved myself from major heart break. by the way watch out cause he might just make you his rebound.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Just do nothing. He still has a gf, even if they're on bad terms it makes things complicated and you shouldn't do anything. Just wait and see if he breaks up with her.

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  • U nvr think that he will do the same to u as he does with his current gf? Smh 😕

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  • Tell him he has to leave his gf if he wants to be with you.

    Don't let him cheat with you. Put yourself in her shoes.

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    • Love is about selflessness and sacrifice. He'd be willing to dump his gf for you if he loved you.
      If he doesn't he just wants to use you for x amount of months, for sex, until he gets bored

    • They broke up yesterday...

    • That's good for you. Maybe don't jump into anything straight away. Can be a dangerous thing to do with raw feelings still there.

  • I had lots of girl friends as friends, drove them crazy.

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    • And did you tell them that's you had feelings for them and wish you would have met them earlier?

  • If he's/she's don't have a wedding ring on their fair game.

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  • he is using you as a spare.

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What Girls Said 33

  • I've had a few guys like this who even talk to other girls even when they are on good terms with their gfs... 1 of the guys got told off by his gf TWICE lol first time she just blockd me, second time she then logged on his MSN while we still had it and she told me to stop talking to him then deleted and blocked me again but he still kept making new accounts on the site i was on and new emails... i would stop this with him because it's just not right especialy when he and his gf could just sort out their problems, that isn't fair on you are developing feelings for him and well... to put you in his gfs shoes she wouldn't be too pleased that he's talking to toher girls... what does that say about him when he's already trying to move on? he really doesn't care about her at all...

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    • It's definitely red flag what he probably won't care for you ether or the next girl after

  • Even though he broke up with his girlfriend doesn't mean you should go after him. Feelings suck, but it's going to hurt you a lot worse if when you're dating him and you two get in a fight, he goes and talks to another chick. Don't put yourself in the situation.

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  • Regardless of the issues he and his girlfriend are having you should have wished him well and let it be until they were no more. You are not showing her or yourself respect. This is how women end up being side chicks. It never works out well in the end. If he leaves her and start dating you he'll eventually do the same to you. Just stop it!

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  • It's fine if you like him but definitely DO NOT act on it. The point is that he's off limits and if he cheats on his girlfriend with you then you can almost bet he'll do the same thing to you with another girl.

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  • I'm going to be honest here... I don't like what you're doing. If you reallyIf looked at it from the gf's angle you wouldn't still be talking to him despite the feelings you feel. And besides, even if it does work out, chances are that what he's doing to his current gf he'll do to you. I think you should put your feelings aside and cut ties with him. You might even just like him because he's off limits to you right now. Go find an available guy and leave this one alone to deal with his bad relationship. If you guys end up crossing paths later and you both are single, why not. Go for it. But until then, leave it alone. I hope I'm not being too harsh. I'm just being honest. And I wasn't trying to put the blame all on you. That guy is wrong too. You both need to stop talking to each other. It could get very ugly when/if his gf finds out.

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  • Oh gosh, do you know a guy used to keep chatting with me almost Everyday? And he was the one who usually started the conversations, I started to like him, but then, boom. He had a girlfriend soon after, I felt like crap lol. I have another friend who has a guy who keeps chatting with her via phone and he Already has a girlfriend, and the girlfriend is afraid that my friend might steal him away, Wth ikr? My friend didn't even know they were together... the guy still kept continuously texting her, wts man. After a while my friend blocked him, but to me, it's pretty obvious that he likes her. Even if she thinks otherwise
    So I advise you to not date this kind of guy, he's not a good guy even if he pretends to. Chatting with another girl even though he Already has a girlfriend? What if he does the same thing to you? It may not be easy to just stop thinking if him so do things that don't remind you of him, slowly but surely :)

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  • Id say you give it some time before you actually pursue him if you choose to do that. You don't just want to be his rebound so just keep talking for a while before you go any further with anything.

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  • Don't fall for it quite yet. It sounds like you're a rebound. Let's just say that one day him and his girlfriend work it out. Where does that leave you? If he really likes his girlfriend I doubt he'll continue to be in contact with you. Then you'll be pissed and hurt.

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  • Stay away from him... :)

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  • If you want to go the less dramatic route, leave him be until he decides he's going to choose you. If you want him for yourself, why share him? But if he chooses her, let him go. He's not worth it.
    If you're going to go the more dramatic route, keep talking to him anyway and ignore her. But this will cause a lot of future damage.

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  • Well you are wrong for even being his confidant. He has you to ruin to instead of fixing things with his girlfriend. Bet she doesn't even know you exist. This is an emotional attachment that you two have built. Meaning when or if things get better with her you are out of the picture. If they don't he will continue to come to you and complain. He has no intention of leaving her until that one fateful day they really get into it, and you are there to run to, and suddenly realizes you are perfect for him. How soon will that happen? Will he leave her? Would you be happen being second choice?

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    • i was actually the exception to this. the guy broke up with her for me, but unfortuntely he was changing schools so we never got to truly date even though we were perfect for each other

  • They're on bad terms but they're still together. Don't be a home-wrecker. Let them work it out and come to their own conclusion without you being an outside force on his end.

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  • He is trying to get another girl while he is still in a relationship. Even if him and his gf weren't on bad terms he would still try and get with you because men are pigs... And if he is doing this with you then what makes you think that he wouldn't do that with someone else

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  • Stay away. He is just keeping you around as a rebound. If he does this to one girl, he will likely do it to you if you ever have problems (assuming he even leaves this girl for you).

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  • I know how that feels because this guy likes me but he has a girl and he tried to do things whith me and still go to his girl after messing around with me and I didn tknow how to react so if he doing that with you and a bother girl then he's just playing both of you

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  • Dont get involve please. I know you're feeling something but if he's not leaving her it's not worth it

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  • You pretty much are the reason for there break up, by giving him attention.. You should have told him to go fix his problems, now your the rebound till he gets bored and finds the next girl.. You shouldn't feel to special if he did it to his gf he'll do it to you!

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  • Yes u starting to like him bec u trying to your self in her shoes. Im in this same situation you're in now. But what i have learn was.. never get your feeling involve. Bec if you do, at the end you are the one thats going to get hurt at the end.. remember he already have a girl

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  • There is nothing you can do. He still has a girlfriend. No matter what the terms are, he is still in a relationship. Most of the time, they stay with their significant other. Be his friend if you want, but try and keep your distance if you can.

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  • This just happened to my bff. If he has no problem talking to you while he's with her, then what's to say he wouldn't do the same with you. My friend ended up actually dating the guy, they broke up a few months later. She just now is finding out that he was talking to/sleeping with another girl while dating my friend. Take my advice and just don't get involved, it will save you heartache, and a whole lot of time.

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  • on my opinion if his started to talk to you first den that means he doesn't really feel much for his gf anymore.. when guys text does he like talk as if you lots are in a relationship? if yes he defo likes you so dont be afraid of getting feelings for him bcos, he will eventually like you aswell as you said they are in bad terms...

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  • Dont be a homewreaker what if the love of your life and you were having slight problems and he did it to you. ? I'm sure you wouldn't be to happy. Karma is a Bitch.

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  • He probably just wants a friend. You can have friends from the opposite sex, you know.

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  • Yeah you have feelings but it's clear he doesn't if he did he wouldn't have a gf you're just there for when she's acting up not being rude or harsh don't get your feelings involves hun you'll he the only one hurt

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  • Stop talking to him. I know it's hard but think with your brain, not your vagina.

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  • That's what they all say (on bad terms blah blah). If you end up with him, he'll say the same thing about you to the next chic!

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  • Honestly, if he REALLY truly wanted you he'd be WITH you. Not saying he wished this or that. Also, if you really put yourself in her shoes you'd not talk to him this way. You're being selfish there. :-) Just saying.

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  • He most likely likes u

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  • You are on the back burner

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  • Take him back, you will definitely be burned. Sounds like he is a selfish jerk or realize that he missed out on you.

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