I think I messed up? desperate need of a translator! Can anyone help me out with what she's saying?

I'll make a long story short. Was invited to the movies by a girl I really like who is a friend. Later invited by another to the same movie, I like her, just not as much... either way told this first girl I was invited by this other girl, who she really doesn't like and she immediately told me to have a good time and stopped texting me after she said she had a headache.

Her last text was, ummm you essentially stood me up for someone I despise, please ignore me. That's a sad plea.

What happened? Should I apologize? Should I reach out to her or wait for her to contact me?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't understood. Did you blow of plans with someone to go out with someone else? As a date or friends blowing someone off is always a bad move. Sorry but I wouldn't forgive you for this. Being blown off really hurts your feelings like your the "just until something better comes along" person.

    If you actually mean you saw the movie twice, once with each girl, I'd say that's ok. If you aren't exclusive date whomever you want. However you never tell a lay about the other ladies. Do you like it if a girl you're crushing on talks about other guys? You need to do some serious apologizing.

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    • That's, I do think she's hurt. She's never blown me off that quickly. Didn't expect to like her toss much.

What Girls Said 30

  • Do you have any romantic interest for any of these girls?
    If the first girl is only just a friend... she has to let you like whoever you like.
    Just because she dislikes a person... doesn't mean you have to also.
    That is HER experience not yours.

    I agree with the fact that she invited you first,
    and you chose someone elses invite over hers.
    You didn't exactly "stand her up" because you didn't accept the offer.
    But you made her feel extremely bad.

    I think you should definitely apologize and make it up to her.
    Take her out and let the tab be on you.

    Why wait for someone to contact you, when you were in the wrong?
    If you keep your distance it shows you didn't really care.

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    • Yes I do have a sexual not romantic interest... at least not yet. The first is a potential. I don't want to get yelled at. She snapped pretty ferociously with her words at me!

  • Yeah so basically she is telling you "If you flirt with me, don't flirt with others". I don't want to be your second or even first option, I wanna be your only option. I mean, if you like her and want something you should stop seeing other girls (or at least not telling her in the face?). That''s what she wants. She wants you to decide.

    Also, maybe going to the movies with you was a bit special? So she was annoyed when you told her you did the exact same thing with other chick. And you probably said it trying to make it sound as not important, which made her date with non-important as well (kind of like, "yeah it wasn't that important for me, I do it all the time").

    She's probably just annoyed, keep talking to her normally and try not to flirt or do the same activities with other girls if you want something with her. She's not saying "please ignore me", she's telling you "I am annoyed and waiting to see if you actually care about me".

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    • So I should reach out? Don't even know what to say now... I feel like a douche! I almost went crazy when I didn't hear from her a while back but she doesn't know that

    • yeah you should reach out. start with a normal conversation "Hey:) how are you?" and if you feel she's still annoyed or she doesn't answer, you can ask her what's wrong and why is she mad at you, and tell her that you're sorry because you didn't mean to offend her. Depending on the situation, you could tell her that you really like her and don't want to lose contact.

  • When you told her that the other girl invited you, it sounded to her like you were going with the other girl instead.

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  • She is upset that you chose another girl over her. Well, you did say she was your friend. Think for a minute about how it would make YOU feel if she did the same thing to you. My guess is : not great. So yeah, I think you should say you are sorry and didn't mean to upset her or something like that.

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    • You are right. I would not be happy!

  • if you really like her as you claim you shouldn't have gone to the movies with the second girl anyways. And considering they both invited you to the same movie this can be assumed that the second girl could have know about your movie date and decided to literally use you to piss off the first girl intentionally considering the hostility you said exists between them. If I were you and if you have serious feelings for her, i'd go and try to clear things up personally with her.

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    • I don't think it was anything malicious by the second girl, of course, I could always be wrong. haven't gone to the movie yet but not sure the 1st girl will even want to now, knowing what she knows... oh boy. :(

  • omigosh major faux paus
    if u knew the girl u liked more hates the second one, its basically a betrayal to girl 1
    always always always go with ur first choice, if u like the first girl then apologize
    maybe a solitary rose and a little card
    may i ask, if u liked girl one, whyd u go for girl two?

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    • I like both! I do like the first one a little bit better, but I don't want to lock that in yet.

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    • I guess I am a douche. She seemed pretty upset. She has a thing with words that pierces straight through and makes you really think!

    • i didn't want to say it bud, but now that u have... thats probably what she's thinking too

  • she's basically saying what you done is pretty low and that she doesn't want to talk to you... make it up to her quick if you like her enough because if you don't she's going to be even angrier maybe see if she still wants to go and say you were just letting her know as you like to be honest with her but you werent intending to go with girl 2

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    • You think she'll just forget about everything? & just be happy again

  • You definitely should've went with the first girl. She had the guts to ask you out so she obviously likes you and its not always easy for girls to make the first move

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    • She did have the guts... I don't want to like her anymore

  • She obviously likes you and was hurt. You need to make a grand gesture to reassure her if you like her and care about a relationship with her. If you are not so into her, just go silent. by the way... never tell girls about other girls. It just complicates things.

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  • Yes, apologize! Tell the first girl that you're really, really sorry and you made a huge mistake going with the other girl.

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    • really really sorry? is that sort of border line begging?

    • Nah, but those are just my words though. You can say the apology however you want to :)

  • You should tell her straight up how you feel, if you didn't go with the other girl tell her that! You made her feel like she was in competition with this other girl who she already doesn't like. Just explain that you like her and that you're sorry :)

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  • See if the 1st girl asked you out she already went out of her comfort zone and asked you. (she likes you) but you just went along and went with the 2nd girl (who probably asked u out on purpose to get on the 1st girls nerves) Obviously the 1st girl feels like crap now and is trying to get outta the way so u and the 2nd chick work out. 1st thinks you like the 2nd girl, so u should be straight up apologize if needed and tell the 1st u like her not the 2nd.

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    • I don't want her to feel like that. I like both just the first one more.

  • Reach out to get if you care about your friendship. Apologize, but explain that you were asked by the other girl first. You didn't stand her up at all. You just turned her down because you'd already seen the movie. She needs to not be so upright. (Don't tell her that part.)

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    • Thanks! But she did ask me first and I said yes. We haven't watched the movie yet.

    • I just realized I didn't fix what my phone auto corrected. I meant her, not get, and uptight, but upright.

    • I understood. College minor was in auto correct😉

  • Perhaps you were a little too honest. I don't see any reason why you need to tell one about the other. If you already made plans with girl #1, just tell girl #2 that you already have plans and leave it at that. To tell one about the other might make her think you are trying to make her jealous.

    I do feel like she maybe over reacted though. But, I have been told that I am much more easy going than other ladies. Hey, you were just being honest.

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    • she's pretty level headed.. I think I really hurt her.

  • You should ignore her, she sounds stuck up and... just don't talk to complicated people. You don't need someone like her. At all.

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  • You should apologize and be honest if she doesn't respond wait a while and try again. That way she gets space but still knows you care.

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  • Just wait for a little bit so she can cool off. And then just apologize and say you made a mistake. Then say something funny so she can laugh lol

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  • if you didn't tell the first girl that this girl asked you out nothing would have happened,, but in a way thats good bcos at least your being honest..

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    • That's a commitment I don't think I can make!

    • the one you like the most you should tell her what you feel...

  • Why did you even feel the need to tell the first girl that this other girl asked you out?

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    • Didn't think it would be this big of a deal

    • It is a big deal you told her. What was the need of telling her about that girl especially if you know she doesn't like her.

    • I know you didn't. Did you try to make her jealous or something? Well, just try to tell her that you're sorry. Did you really turned her down for someone you like less than you like her? If you didn't mean to tell her that, tell her what you really meant. She would probably ignore you. If you really like her, I'd say keep trying to show her that you like her not this other girl. But don't smother her and don't be a creep while doing that.

  • Didn't spin to me like you stood her up, you were being honest. If you have to apologize for something that's not your fault already.. Think of how "sorry" you'll have to be in a future with her. Just sayin'

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    • Umm... Yeah he was honest but that doesn't make it right. She has every right to feel the way she does. No one wants to be stood up for another person. Al's he may have led this girl on to believe he likes her and that's a total slap to the face if so. I hope you don't have this mindset when it comes to your dating life. Its not ever right to be accepted as someone's second choice.

      Just an opinion though.

    • I do appreciate everyone's opinion. she's not really ever full of drama, I don't consider this dramatic.

  • You should IMMEDIATELY tell her you apologize for the honest misunderstanding. And that you didn't know that she dispised that girl.

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  • I would apologize and say it wasn't because you did it out of spite to her and you just wanted to be honest with her because she deserves it.

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  • live with no regrets :-)

    better now, and not too late or never!

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  • Well i think because you told her that the other girl asked you to the movie you basically were telling her that you are talking to both of them. Just like you would not like it if some girl was two timing you. She probably got hurt.

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  • If she's go into over react without really talking to you about what happened, then I'd just leave her alone and let her be a bitch.

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  • Apologize and man reach out stop wasting time

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  • I think you told the first girl about the second girl to make her jealous and it back fired! Good luck with that, it it was me I probably would ignore you for a while even if you try to apologise.
    Sorry but give it time!

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    • She said she doesn't get jealous and normal normal she doesn't... didn't think she'd get upset.. she likes honesty. I was just trying to be honest.

    • Yes but sometimes being honest is not a good idea, and anyway why would you turn down the first girl but not the second girl! seems a bit odd that you said yes to the second asker but not the first?
      How would you of felt if someone you didn't like asked this first girl out and she told you about it?

    • I said yes to the first girl. But I also said yes to the second... didn't think the first girl world mind, considering we are just friends

  • Yes you messed up. why on earth would you chose to go to movie with the second one if you like the first one more?
    If you really like the first girl, reach out to her already and apologize! and probably try not to see the second one as much anymore.
    if you don't, let her go, don't string her along with the second girl by your side.

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    • The first for sure. what does sad plea mean? When I felt the tension in text, I told her to not be a grumpy pants, and said that makes me sad, she then inserts the meaning of sad in a picture message and said I should be the opposite.

    • she's jealous that u chose to go to movie with the second girl instead of with her. sad plea meaning she doesn't believe what you said after u stood her up...
      good news is she cares enough to be jealous, so good luck...

  • Drama drama drama ughhh get out of there quick! Why do people enjoy drama I just hate those stuffs so much..

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    • I do appreciate your opinion. she's not really full of drama, I don't consider this dramatic.

    • If you're already too sure about your opinion why bother asking? What's the point? And I'm really sorry you couldn't see the drama in this.

  • Ummm I hate when guys talk to more than one female if a guy wants me and talks to me i have to be the only one... I'm nobodies option, if im not your one and only I'll be your nothing at all

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    • So true. Amen to that

    • If you are just getting too know someone people shouldn't be expected to be exclusive on the first date, that's what dating is for. Also no one knows what they want until they know what they don't want.

      When my current bf and I met we were both dating multiple people (not sleeping with). Naturally we made less dates with other people until we just wanted each other. That was 2 years ago.

    • Didn't think I'd enjoy her time this much until it was compromised

What Guys Said 3

  • Dude you dissed her , don't hold your breath waiting on her to contact you

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    • Don't even know what to say to her now.

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    • I know you mentioned both physical appearance & personality, but first know your real intentions as of why you might want to try to get her back, if that makes sense

    • She makes me laugh. Genuine happiness

  • its over bro

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  • gosh you shouldn't of told her that you dated another person, that just creates jealousy!

    But honestly you haven't done anything wrong especially since you haven't established the fact you are exclusively dating each other. You need to be more transparent and tell her that you liked her a lot more and that the other date wasn't that great, but give her time to deal with the over thinking emotions. Just in the future, don't go telling girls that you dated another girl, to them it's like you're telling them that they aren't important enough to spend all your effort on.

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    • Alright. I may still be good then. Should I just wait for her to contact me? What did she mean by sad plea? Gosh I feel like a douche. She's truly not the jealous type... I think I messed up here!

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    • no problem, currently the way I see it, its still possible to get her back
      just remember, she is the only person who is important to you and you shouldn't have a problem

    • this man is right. Do what he says

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