I really like this guy and I want to date him. It's just that I didn't want to hurt the other co-workers feelings so I said I don't date co-workers. That eight months ago and he is still obsessed with me. He sends me cards and things, and he is always doing things for me. I tell him not to because it makes me uncomfortable but then he gets all hurt and says it doesn't hurt for him to help me.
So if I say yes to this guy he'll know I lied. Should I just tell him the truth or do I just say I've changed my mind?
Most Helpful Guy
This is an example of drama-in-the-making wherein little white lies and establishing artificial boundaries and rules become sitcom material.
You are in you dilemma because you established an artificial dating rule - the reason is irrelevant, although your empathy is lauded. So, the way to get out of your dilemma is to remove the artificial dating rule. So, how can you do that and "save face"? You MIGHT be able to get out of this situation by stating you only thought that the company had that dating rule but have since learned it's not a real rule. However, if it is known that the rule was only yours, you are simply going to have to state a half-truth: you changed your mind about the rule. The first guy doesn't need to know that you didn't want to go out with him.
However, TO AVOID THIS SITUATION GOING FORWARD: LADIES, if a guy you don't care to go out with asks you out, GO OUT ONCE and MAKE SURE IT'S A BAD DATE BUT DON"T BE BITCHY. In this case, you won't worry about hurting his feelings at being not worthy to date, but he will not pursue a second date with you and the problem is solved. Then you are free to date the guy you want with no worries and no guilt and a minimum amount of one-time lying (only making the one date go badly) that won't bite you in the ass later.
KEEP IN MIND: When you do go out on that one date that you plan on torpedoing, you might actually discover that you like the guy after all and change your mind. If you don't give him that change, you never know if he was Mr. Right after all.0
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