How do you tell your boyfriend that he basically needs to lay in the bed he made without being mean?

My boyfriend bought a $600 paintball gun of off eBay with the intention of playing with it once and then returning it for a full refund. ~Apparently~ the gun didn't work at all, and he didn't end up using it the day he was going to play with it, and just used his own original gun. I don't really believe that, my boyfriend does this on a smaller scale all the time with video games at Gamestop and it really drives me crazy. The eBay seller isn't accepting the return and my boyfriend is really sweating the $600 (as anyone would be) but I can't help but feel like this is a tad bit of karma. Like he shouldn't be buying a gun he obviously can't afford to look cool in front of his friends, and it's wrong to buy something from a person who's trying to make a living, and take advantage a return policy that's really only in place for when the seller made a real mistake. It bothers me that he's being scammy. What he did was just kinda wrong plain and simple, and I don't know how to tell him to deal with his own problem that he made without being a bitch about it. He keeps calling me asking me what to do and he even called me at 1 am last night cause he was so worried about it. How do you go about that? I don't want to fight but I want him to know that I don't think it's right at all.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • You’re a Republican and he’s a Democrat. Run the other way. LOL

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What Guys Said 33

  • Just be lucky you got your boyfriend to make the bed. Me, I just throw the blankets in a pile.

    Just kidding. What he is doing is just plain wrong. It is immoral. Ask him how he would feel if he were the seller and he just learned he would have to return $600 even though there was nothing whatsoever wrong with the item. Then, tell him to stop buying crap with the intention of returning it. Tell him you feel like it is against your morals and you're not sure that you can be with someone who isn't of good moral fiber (okay don't say that... since you're not a time traveler from the 1800's) Say, you're not sure you can be with someone who doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. Then, tell him he'd better figure out some way to correct his mistake.

    There is a section of the Stephen King novella "The Sun Dog" where a young couple is barely making it, and the guy is getting paid about $100 a week. He makes a $500 bet over a sporting event to impress a co-worker and then has to borrow money from a loan shark to pay it back. It takes him 6 months of working overtime, quitting smoking, collecting aluminum cans and not eating, paying the interest and a tiny bit of the principle each week until it is finally paid off. The guy learned his lesson. Sounds like your boyfriend could use a similar lesson.

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  • I think you need to work on being blunt with him. I do also think that if he's being this much of a con artist with the gamestop stuff and whatnot that you should take concern that he may be perfectly fine lying to your face and that's really not a good thing.

    Overall you are probably just uncomfortable saying something like "hey... maybe it wasn't the best idea to buy a paintball gun you couldn't afford..."

    If it is defective, then he should get his money back yes. But you feel he is just saying that to get his money back when it's perfectly fine. I can see that being a possibility. But that's for him to workout with the dealer.

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  • You don't need to say anything.

    I suspect he will pull something even worst to try to get out of the situation.

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  • I think you have a couple options. I would suggest contacting eBay if the seller won't accept a refund. I would also consider reselling device on eBay or a similar site.

    I would also have a talk with him about how you don't think it's right in a calm and rational way. Probably by saying that return policies are generally not there for that purpose and things like this will eventually happen if he keeps doing it. Ultimately, probably, the only way he is going to accept your view is if he understands that it's going to harm him if he keeps it up.

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  • Tell him that you feel that he's being a bit scammy.

    Ask him if he ever considered how it would make others feel? It isn't about how others would retaliate or what cos that's not the point, it's just not nice.

    Even those around him would feel bad that they are 'encouraging' him to continue with this behaviour.

    Tell him, he's a great guy and this doesn't seem to fit the picture of how he actually wants to behave.

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    • If he doesn't get it, or challenges it... then play your part and leave.

  • You don't' what he did was LOUSY AND FUNNY let the silence of truth speak for itself I can hear it can you' and if he ask's you again' just let him listen to the silence of the loud truth say... YOUR A DUMB ASS... just kidding' seriously let him worry about his pride'that was his fault.

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  • It's not mean to tell him he tried to rob the seller and failed. That's on him.

    Oh and dump him. He's way too comfortable lying.

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    • Laugh in his face too. Tried to scam an honest seller and failed. Looooooser!

  • It's not right and you know it and I think he does too. Do you really think he's going to grow out of this immature behavior? How soon? He must be pretty special for you to hang with him when he doesn't know right from wrong. I think he got scammed by the seller and should be able to get a refund from Ebay.

    But since this bothers you so much, I think it's a deal breaker.

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  • My brother did this once for some $5 candy and that was annoying enough for me. I think what your boyfriend is doing is much worse. But at the same time if you still want to date him, you shouldn't show him that you are angry about it. I think you need to act sorry that it happened to him, but maybe you can try to talk to him a little bit in a polite way about how the shop owners feel too. Not in a way that blames him, but just in a way that explains why the shop owners have the policies that they do. That way you aren't blaming him but still explaining to him how it hurts others.

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  • Just basically say that you are sorry it happened, but there's nothing you can do to help.

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  • Karma is a bitch and it always catches up with you, You should tell him what you think about the scamming tendency and how it affects you, after all you are in a relationship and should be able to voice your opinion, but try not to come off bitchy if possible at all. Maybe it's a good thing this happened with the paint gun, cause what if the scam had worked, he may have moved onto to bigger scams later on, he needed to be taught a lesson

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  • I'd just simply say "that's what you get for trying to pull a fast one" I do think it's karma putting him in his place. Hopefully lesson learned.

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  • Try this very radical approach... tell the truth... yes, you heard me, tell him the truth about what you are really feeling about it.

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  • Tell him he shouldn't be trying to take advantage of return policies because that fraud and illegal and your not gonna be with someone who does stuff like that, he will stop before he looses you, and if he doesn't, and doesn't care about your opinion and respects your opinion he should loose you

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  • You could totally let this one slide, but use it to stop him from doing it again.

    Next time he tries it, remind him of what happened last time. Hopefully he'll learn from what happened

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  • Dont ya just love karma. Had a m8 who was always sellin shifty shit online. He went to buy a car form victoria. Car never arived he got scamed. Fuck I thought it was funny. I told him u should be more careful the r people like u all over the internet.

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  • He did something stupid, just be honest about it. The truth can hurt, so let him know that you're not trying to be mean at all.

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  • I hate people like that just tell him like you told us it sounds perfect

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  • Be a good girlfriend and comfort him, just pretend you are on his side even if you clearly know that it's karma for his fraudulent behaviour. It will mean a lot to him.

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  • lol tell him its unattractive. that would bug me.

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  • He's probably going to ask you for help by hinting
    *I'm broke* and *can you lend me money*

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  • Sounds like kind of a shallow weasel.

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  • I think you should better not lol on him and try to ask him the reason if it's for you than you should better tell him that you don't need and try to make him calm..

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  • If you mean him well tell him that he did something wrong and exactly what he did wrong... Tell him how you feel about what he did... If he likes or loves you he will listen and understand

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  • Fix the gun and sell it.

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  • you got yourself in this mess you get yourself out

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  • He will be pissed that he didn. t show his friend who he liked them to think of him we r all about the image

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  • Shoot him with it. Cause thats karma for you

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  • dont say anything
    answerm ien

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  • Blunt> sugar coat

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What Girls Said 11

  • It's Not even a Principal Now of his 'Intention of playing with it once and then returning if or a full refund,' lovemxo, it is the Malarkey Matter that the 'eBay seller isn't accepting the return...' That is nearly unheard of, especially when the dang gun 'Didn't work at all.' He should have been entitled to a full refund...
    All you can do is Not rub salt in his wounds or it will cause a War of the Roses in your own relationship. We all have to learn a little lesson in life on our own sometimes, no matter what the reason of the season for buying anything From-------A person who's trying to make a living... hard lessons in life make us wiser and more wary.
    He made his bed and now he has to lie in it, as the old saying going. Tell him to give this schmo from Idaho a bad feedback, bite the bullet and Not to order off of eBay again.. this is really the best to 'Tell him to deal with his own problem he made.'
    Good luck. xx

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  • I would say nothing. He's sweating about what he's done so he knows he's made a mistake and this is karma. If he speaks to you about it, say "it's your own fault" and you can't help him with it and tell him what you said here that people are making a living but he's taking advantage of them. Tell him he'll have to lose out on the $600 and maybe it'll be a pricey lesson for him. Telling him what you think doesn't mean it will cause a fight and even if it does, he needs to know that what he's doing is wrong, that's if he hasn't already learnt that by now.

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  • I'm very forward and honest, so I'd just tell my bf, "Sucks for u! I told u that trying to scam people like that was gonna come bite u back and bite u in the ass, but did u listen? No!" Good thing my bf loves that about me...

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  • Oh. I, uh, took the title literally.

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  • If he paid for a gun that turned out not to work , if I'm understanding this correctly, then he should get his money back Sure you bf was trying to be cheap but that doesn't mean he should lose out on $600 for buying defective merchandise

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  • Sounds like a class A doucheball to me. Don't say anything but let him know you don't care to hear the whinging about it either. He's a big boy he needs to learn to deal with it. Obviously not his 1st mistake & won't be the last if he keeps that attitude.

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  • You should say "So, how's the paint ball gun, having fun? 😏😏"
    Ahaha, kidding but just have that talk about money and such. If he's mature enough he'll understand he isn't rich and he needs a budget and if he buys thing it should be what he actually needs. Food..
    Clothes..
    Furniture... Good luck 😄

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  • Just tell him but be nice about it. Tell him everyone makes bad choices sometimes and that's just part of life. He needs to grow up and accept his responsibility for making a bad choice. It is not okay or cool to scam anyone! What goes around, comes around.

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  • Oh no... please don't tell him that, just try to be as supportive as you can

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  • Just calmly talk to him and tell him that you don't like the fact he always does this. Maybe wait a bit when he's not so angry xx

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  • I just tell them blunt. Like he's old enough now. He fucked up, made a dumb decision and has to deal with it. He's big enough to do it all the time, he's big enough to deal with consequences. Sorry, if my boyfriend did that, I'd tell him this but in ruder words... He knows when he fucks up I'll be there for him if he needs me, but he KNOWS not to come to me expecting sympathy and niceness.

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