I want to try online dating but have a few questions? Help please?

I'm 25 and have never dated..
I've come to a point where I'd like to at least, date and well be part of the "game".
Because my social circle is still pretty tiny where I live I decided to try online dating. I have a few questions though

-Do I have to put a picture where one can recognized me? because that would bother me
-I am studying in a town different from my hometown but I admit I'd be more interested in meeting guys from my hometown (first it's much bigger so there are more potential suitors and also I am over there for holidays and such..) Should I just focus on the town where I study and spend most of the week or?
- I am a virgin and I don't want to rush into sex. Do you think thisis somethign that should be said imediately?

And most importantly
What should I write in my profile not to look desperate or too snob? I am quite reserved and honestly do not like it when people say things like I am this type of person etc.. so. any idea?

If you have any other advice I'll gladly take them. thank you


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I have dated and only done online dating. I mostly do Tinder and POF. com. I tried match. com and it was a HORRIBLE site so don't get sucked into that. I have been on a couple of others but POF and Tinder I find to be the best.
    Honestly it doesn't sound like online is going to work for you because your not willing to do what is needed to make online dating work.
    1) Current pictures are a MUST. most people will not even bother to reply to anyone that doesn't have a picture posted, and it needs to be a current picture (within last 2 years at worst). As a guy I have received messages from women with no picture. I have to immediately think "if she has to hide her face what else is she hiding?" also obviously there has to be attraction for any dating to work so the person needs to see you. If your not willing to put up a picture I would not bother with online dating as all your going to get is sex proposals.
    2) you should concentrate in the area you spend the most time. Long distance usually doesn't work. Also, if you hit it off your going to want to see each other often so you need to be close.
    3) as a woman 75% of the messages your going to get are going to be married sleezeballs, guys that are too young, wrong color, just looking for sex. you just need to accept it. It is unfortunate there are that many disgusting pigs out there but my sister told me this and just about every woman I have dated has said about the same. You have to trust your gut and know that there are good guys out there that are real gentleman. You need to be patient.
    4) In your age range guys are not going to expect a virgin. So your going to have to have a discussion about expectations within say 4 dates. When adults date sex is usually considered "on the table " from the 3rd date on. I have gone on dates with 10 different women and I have had sex with 4. 3 of them I slept with on the 3rd date, the other was first date (long story).
    ran out of room

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    • First thank you for this long but detailed answer. I guess you're rght, I haven't put a picture because this is a way of not putting myself out there. I guess for the town issue, I'll have to look in the town I am living right now even if I won't be there for some part of the year.
      As for the "quality men" out there well I know those websites are mostly filled with men only looking to have as much fun as they can and who are only looking for sex.

      But other things kind of make me uncomfortable. Like when is it safe to bring someone to your place or go to theirs?

    • Feel free to message me privately as this is something I am actively doing now. I actually just met someone now that I decided I am really ready to date and we have our 4th date tonight... but we slept together at her house Monday night.
      I have had one woman that would not give me her address until the 4th date.
      I had another, after 5 days of heavy in-depth texting, say forget the date and she had me come to her house for sex the first time we met. It was a great night. we saw each other for about 3 weeks.
      So it just depends on how comfortable you feel with him. But the first date you really should meet him someplace public for drinks. keep it light. 2 or 3 hours if it goes well.
      As I said it is unfortunate that there are a lot of scum out there. But many of us are true gentlemen looking to really meet someone. My sister actually met her husband on POF. com a few years ago. they just got married last June. so it happens...

What Guys Said 6

  • of course you have too, when it comes to online dating, a presentable picture is like literally the entire game. no matter how good your profile information is, if they can't put a face behind it then 9.7/10 you're gonna get overlooked.

    as for everything else, its your choice. you can remain a virgin, you don't need to have sex and you can date in your town if you want.

    as you make your profile it will give you tips on how to write it so don't worry about it.

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    • I see.. Well I'll just go with the flow. I don't have any expectation this is just to force me being more proactive..

  • I would suggest you not to try online dating. Well it's hard to believe in people in real life. How will you believe in a person who you meet on the internet? That's a big risk.
    I think most people you could meet will be perverts. Sorry for disappointing you. But that's real.
    :)

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    • Well I had a lot of insecurities ragrding online dating. I mean I created my profile a year ago and still haven't posted anything. Just go on there once or twice every three months. Every time I fidn myself thinking "what ifs" "how can I trust them?" etc... but I'm pretty sure there are relatively decent guys out there right? But I do understand sometimes I feel like it would just be a waste of time but right now I am not meeting anyone and haven't for quite a long time so I thought I might as well try it.

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    • thank you !

    • You're welcome Ms.

  • I've done the online dating and it was tedious and unproductive. You need to expand your social circle. Are you in the United States? If so, check out meetup. com and join groups that interest you. Other countries may have similar sites.

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    • I'm in Europe . and I've looked for social events in my town but there aren't many and whenever there's some I fear going alone

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    • I see.. well I see everyone using online dating, now they even made mobile app for those. Some do get in relationships thanks to these.. I just thought that would allow me to be out there i na way because have to admit I am not out there enough. Now I could join a class, or do some social work and such (I have the intent to do the latter) but I feel like it won't be useful. I seem to not convey the "datable" message or whatever else it is well enough..

    • Not actively looking for a partner is a sure fire way for me to find one. Either way, you'll have to venture beyond your little town. That's why I suggested dropping the online dating thing and doing more socializing because it lowers the expectations and stress levels. And Meetup has a mobile app, too.

  • Good luck in twenty five too

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  • Okay well... I think I can help... Maybe.. what are you asking for in general?

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  • you might have better luck since you are a woman

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What Girls Said 2

  • Ok well I can relate as I'm kind of in the same situation as you are. I think it would be a good idea to put a picture up only because it's the first way you'll get noticed. I don't think you have to tell a guy you're a virgin right off the bat. If you feel you are starting to like him then just bring it up in conversation like ask what he's looking for something serious or short term long term etc. write what you feel comfortable writing you don't have to tell everything, that saves some points for conversation. Hobbies, or general interests are a good idea. Hope that helps.

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    • thank you. Have you tried it?

    • You're welcome. I am actually trying it now, I made an account last week and I'm just giving it a try.

  • Yes, you have to put up a real picture. People will assume that is who they're meeting, so don't falsely advertise yourself.

    Search for guys in the place you'll be more often. But if your home town isn't that far or you visit there often, you can search there as well. Just make sure you've clarified that you're originally from that town in your description so they don't wonder why a girl from a different city is contacting them.

    Yeah, you can write that in your description. "I'm looking for a real relationship... etc"

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