Is asking girls about interests and themselves on a dating site considered boring nowadays?

So I've been using dating sites and on okcupid, I'll find lots of girls with common interests and I'll ask them about it as well as what they're wanting to do with their degree or what they're doing in their work field and more often than not, they'll see the message and not respond but not even look at my profile.

Now it's worked on some, but is talking about common interests considered boring nowadays? It's almost like I don't even know what to say because obviously they're fed up with guys hitting on them let alone dirty messages and dick pics. Not that I was thinking of doing that anyway, but it's like some of them are so sensitive to what you say that you gotta scrutinize everything.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I was on OkCupid for a little bit and I had dozens of men message me with questions just like that. Here's how I approached many of the situations:
    -If I went to his profile it didn't mean i thought he was attractive, it meant I wanted to see more since those pics are really small.
    -If he tried asking more than two questions in the first message I was immediate uninterested because it came off as too desperate.
    -If a guy was not attractive to me, I would not respond no matter what.
    -Sometimes out of laziness I would not respond even if he was attractive. (so dont take it personally)
    -I preferred to be asked interesting things or to be teased playfully, haha. I hardly ever got teased but its a fun way to flirt with someone. Dont ask about degrees, thats too common. Ask stuff you dont think they get asked a lot. Shows you're creative and above boring small talk.
    -I hated to be called beautiful, cute, or anything of that nature in the first few messages we shared. I immediately deleted those guys because it shows they're more interested in looks than personality.
    -And if we had a good conversation for a day or so I expected them so ask me on a date. If they didn't I lost interest and moved on because there's so many options out there I wasn't willing to sit around and wait.

    But now I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I met on that website. I messaged him first though, haha. You might have better luck if the girl goes to you first. Shows they're actually interested despite all the attention they get from others.

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What Girls Said 0

The only opinion from girls was selected the Most Helpful Opinion!

What Guys Said 1

  • who can understand women in dating sites? maybe they are judging you just from your profile pic? i sometimes really wonder what woman want to hear on those sites

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    • Well here's what I forgot to mention, last week 2 really attractive girls clicked like on me for okcupid. I asked one who liked also trailer park boys if she watched the new episodes and what she wanted to do with her degree. She just read it and ignored it. She liked my appearance obviously but I don't what was wrong with that. Like you said, it's like you don't know what they want to hear.

    • hmm. maybe the problem was asking too much stuff at once? asking about a tv show and school at the same time might be weird lol

    • Lol well I didn't ask about both in the same sentence but it gets tricky because girls don't want too short of messages but not too long either

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