What's your opinion on the overweight double standard in dating and relationships?

It seems like it's more common and acceptable to see a large man with a skinny girl, than it is to see a skinny man with a large girl. Large men who get the skinny girl are "praised" for their "sweet find", however if a skinny man is dating a large girl, he's berated for being "interested in a hog". Do you think this is a problem? Do you chock it up to the "since forever" long stigma that women must be forever beautiful, perfect, skinny flowers in order to be dateable? What's your opinion on this double standard?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • In human history, a love of skinny women is pretty recent. It use to be fatter women were hotter. I've found both big and skinny women attractive.

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    • That's because bigger women were seen as healthy child barers. :) Women with a few extra pounds (not morbidly obese, per say) usually have better births than the extremely skinny, or extremely large.

      It's good to know men like you still exist though, haha. :'D

    • If I did started dating a bigger girl, I'd try to encourage her to workout and eat healthy to lose weight.

What Guys Said 7

  • What double standard? If you're fat you get flak whether you're a guy or a gal. The problem however is that men is supposed to be the one taking initiative.
    It's thus positive for a fat guy to get a skinny girl (ie he got someone "out of his league"), but negative for a skinny guy to get a fat girl (ie picking someone under his standard).
    As for the girl, she's just the one being courted.
    Sorry, but that's life and that's what you get for wanting men to do all the hard work in dating.

    Back on the double standard, I don't see one. It's not ok to be fat, and each couple is judged from the perspective of the initiator (the guy). Is it sexist? Maybe, but it's true.
    And ultimately there is no double standard, because everyone is judged from the same perspective. It's just that said perspective does not favor all kinds of situations

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  • I haven't noticed this double standard. I don't care who other people date. You're implying that thin is more often attractive according to society while your surprised at the praise for men dating a thin woman. I don't see why you're surprised at that. I can see why you're frustrated though. The praising men thing is because many in society look at men as sort of the one that GOT the person. Conquered in a way. Like how it's more often for men to be the initial pursuer. I imagine that's why men tend to get praise and not women so much.

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    • It's not an implication. In our current society, thin IS more attractive. I don't know how you read surprise into my statement in regards to praise, but sorry for the confusion. I'm NOT surprised that this happens, because it DOES happen, and we all know it does. The question is more geared towards your opinion on the double standard, not about how I'm surprised that there is one, haha.

      I can see what you mean though. Men are seen as the instigators, simply because of how it used to be back many years ago, when men really were the only instigators of a relationship (most of the time at least).

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    • By you being surprised it sounds like you're confused or haven't accepted it and are ruminating.

    • Haha. I'm not surprised. I didn't mean for it to come off that I was, sorry for the confusion. :)

  • Men and women prioritize different things. If men cared about a woman's ability to make them laugh, confidence, charm and career, for example, as much as women cared about men's, then men would have to be less picky than they are when it comes to looks.

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  • And if a fat girl finds a skinny or muscular guy, she gets praised too.

    The truth is, being overweight makes it harder for both genders to get some.

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  • Its sucked life is not fair both genders face double standards its not easy being any living creature trust me.

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  • As a former fat guy, this is a load of Bullshit. Girls don't like fat guys AT ALL. I know this is a fact because when I got to a healthy weight all of the sudden women became attracted to me. It's the same for both genders.

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    • It is what it is. *Shrug* I've seen more fat guys with skinny girls in my life than I've ever seen fat girls with skinny guys. Granted, I've only lived for about 20 years, but it was a curious observation. I just wanted an opinion on the idea, and to see if it was a thing, or if I was just looking for crumbs on a plate that never had a sandwich on it.

    • It just makes me a little mad that you assume overweight guys have it good, we actually have it worst. Girls usually can get away with having extra weight.

    • First of all, I didn't say that fat guys had it good. The point of the question is that I'VE SEEN MORE FAT MEN WITH SKINNY WOMEN THAN VICE VERSA. As a fat chick, I know EXACTLY how hard it is to find someone who loves and accepts you, rolls and all. And no, we DON'T get away with having extra weight, so however you came across that conclusion, you are super wrong. Both genders have it shitty when it comes to being fat and finding someone to love.

      So don't think I'm being ignorant. It was an inquiry as to whether or not this was really something happening, or just me being selective with my eyesight, so please, calm down. I didn't say big guys have it good, WHAT I SAID is, that I've noticed bigger guys with skinny girls are more common than bigger girls with skinny guys.

  • Actually a lot of my friends and people I know who are skinny have dated big chicks. As for the making fun, it's just messing around, we even make jokes about skinny chicks. It doesn't matter if the girl is skinny or not if she's unattractive guys make jokes about her, being fat is just one more thing to make a joke about I guess.

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    • Of course jokes are okay. I mean, I make jokes about myself all the time. If you can't laugh at yourself, then you must be a very sad person. But the meaning behind the "jokes" in which I mentioned is the fact that I know men who CONSTANTLY say these things. A lot of women (and men) who have weight problems know that they need help with their weight, and being reminded, or feeling like they're dragging their significant other down because of their weight, is not an okay thing to do. A friendly reminder to lose weight is one thing. Consistently insulting a woman who already feels bad about herself is another.

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    • They happen with skinny girls too, I mean my best friends girlfriend is extremely skinny and we always make jokes about him leaving the window open and her blowing away and such. We don't mean for them to be hurtful, we're just acting stupid most of the time and don't think about things before we say them

    • Okay. I laughed. I laughed really hard at that. I won't lie. I keep looking at it and laughing. Look at what you've done! LOL

      The joke thing is kind of a hard topic to really explain/explore and have come across as I meant it to. It's not really a big deal, just a thing I brought up. :'D

What Girls Said 1

  • As a larger girl myself it's crap haha.
    The way people look and you know they're thinking 'what a brave man for settling for a fat girl.. Poor girl though he's obviously cheating on her'

    I hate society haha. But to be honest if the guy doesn't pay any attention too it and we're solid then whatever, screw people haha!

    Good question :)

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