Sexting, will he leave me?

Okay so I'm in a weird situation. so I started talking to this guy in July, and he didn't make it official until November. He lives really far away and I've only been able to visit him a few times. Once when I met him, and the second when he made it official. We have plans to see each other over Valentine's day and Spring Break. When we were in the talking stage, a guy from my past came back into my life and started talking to me, and at that point, my boyfriend (at that time just talking, not dating yet) and I hadn't talked much cause we were busy, and I was feeling really lonely. I've never tried long distance and it was really hard for me. So this other guy was texting me about how much he missed me and such, and he started talking about things that we had done and stuff, and started saying things that he knows get to me. I wound up sending him a few suggestive pictures, and immediately felt guilty. I hated myself. I left. I deleted his number and lost all contact with him. But then I got really bad anxiety about the guy I was talking to (now boyfriend) finding out, and though I've really wanted to tell him, I just haven't brought myself to it because I don't want him to leave me. I love him. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've got a long message typed out that I want to send him. Again, this was when we were not officially in a relationship. I've since only been talking to him and no one else. He's my one and only. How do y'all think he's going to react? I'm really scared that he's going to leave me.. I can't lose him.. It makes me sick to my stomach.. I absolutely hate it.. But I know he deserves to know. Nothing physical happened, so I didn't technically cheat. But I just wanted other opinions about it. I'm really scared.

Updates:
Would FaceTime be an acceptable way to tell him? I can't see him in person for a long time, and holding in even longer will make it all worse..
I told him, and everything is perfect. :D

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He said things that he knows get to you?

    So... He was manipulating you into sending suggestive pictures to him?

    And this is a guy you want to give your mind, body, heart and soul to?

    Bad idea, hon. Your heart is deceiving you. Any man who would manipulate you to do something that makes you feel dirty and guilty later is selfish, and evil.

    I know you want to keep some people in your life, but they will only ultimately keep you feeling dirty, and guilty, because they know they can manipulate you to do their bidding.

    Your BEST BET is to keep his number deleted. Take the long text you have and delete, it too. Find a man who will love and respect you and cringes if he EVER asks you to do ANYTHING that makes you uncomfortable.

    Anyway, reading on, if this new guy truly loves you, and cares for your heart and soul, then he might be hurt by what you did, but he will not leave you. You are repentent- which is major. You are sorry. It eats at you.

    Tell him, if your conscience is crying out to do it. I hope this man is willing to love you in celibacy and loves you for your heart, rather than your body. That is a man worth keeping, regardless of how you may, or may not feel about it.

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    • Thank you.. The long message is to my boyfriend, telling him about it..

    • And I want to give everything I have to boyfriend, and only him. I would NEVER cheat on this man. He is my world.

    • Then maybe perhaps it is best not to tell him. You are clearly devoted to him, there is no question in my mind. You made a mistake and you are sorry for it. If your conscience won't leave you alone, perhaps tell him. If you do tell him, you will immediately find out what kind of a man he is. If he is willing to forgive you or not.

      Some times it is best to discover who they really are inside before the relationship goes too far.

What Guys Said 1

  • u didn't cheated nor did it happen when you guys vr dating so i guess there is no need to tell him
    what he doesn't know will not hurt him

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    • Yes but it's been eating at me and I feel terrible.

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    • well the worse he will be mad but he won't leave you for such a tiny thing so go ahead

    • I sure hope he doesn't..

What Girls Said 1

  • Do NOT do it by text, own your actions & consequences in person if you genuinely care for him. Then let him know you've learned your lesson and are willing to move forward with him if he's still willing. If he becomes obsessive with you after that then scale things back, if he can't handle it then let him go. Cos honestly when real feelings are present even if you're lonely, you won't mess about on the person you care for.

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    • I understand. But I won't see him in person again for a while. He lives 500 miles away..

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