My boyfriends mom bitches a lot?

Ok so im 23 and my bf of 4 years is 27 years old. He is a truck driver that works mostly nights. I work a 9-6 job therefore during the week we don't see each other hardly ever. He also works Saturdays some times and on those days I get to spend time with him for maybe half a weekend. His mom lives in the area with his step dad and she is always bitching that she never sees him and that whenever he is home he is always with me. Well hello we have been together 4 years and we also hardly see each other there are other people in his life. I think it is natural that after 4 years and the ages that we are that we would make each other a main priority when I do get to see him. On Sundays we go over to the moms house for dinner so it isn't like he isn't seeing her. Its just frsutrsting because she acts like I see him 24/7 when that is hardly the case. What she doesn't realize is the one day a week that we sometimes only get to see each other we are also spending time with her. She is like well family should be sharing you with her not then other way around. I'm like I'm pretty sure its natural that after 4 years together and us starting our lives together and being adults it is natural to start spending the majority of your green time with your partner especially if it isn't much. What is his moms deal. She thinks that he should ALWAYS put his family ahead of me and he disagrees saying that he views me as family now and he sees us as all equal. Thoughts?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i would ignore her, don't let her interfere

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What Guys Said 2

  • If you're not married, his mom should still be the main woman in his life. Girlfriends come and go but he will only ever have one mother. bish.

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    • I disagree why can't we be equal? Divorces still can happen after marriage. What she is doing is letting him not make his own decisions as a grown ass man. It would be different if I saw him everyday of the week and she never saw him but she sees him almost as much as I do and in my opinion she should feel lucky because what ID we lived far away she would see him a lot less often. Most people as adults want to spend most not all but. most of their free time with the one they are going to marry. I agree mom should come first if we just started dating or are younger but I think after a while when you know you plan on marrying that person there is a shift and I believe that person becomes your family. Also what about people who never marry who have been together 10 29 or even 50 years are they still never supposed to be a main priority in their partners lives?

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    • He may have came out if her but I can mother his children. She can't (; anyways again where in my post did I say that I want him all to myself. I said u barely see him so its not like I see him everyday while she is forgotten about. Calm down. If we were married I still don't think that makes any difference. I still expect him to see other people he cares about which he does. I think everyone misinterpreted my post.

    • I said I barely see him*

  • "she is always bitching that she never sees him and that whenever he is home he is always with me"

    Charming.

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    • Woah did u read how often I actually see him? I did state that it would be different if I saw him everyday and she never saw him. She sees him every Sunday. If course when our time is limited to half a weekend we are going to spend that time mostly together. Not that crazy after 4 years.

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    • That's interestinf you went from defending her to saying she has to eventually back off. I'm lost in your stance.

    • Well you did bring up the fact you're pregnant until the end there, that changes things.

What Girls Said 2

  • Yeh she is being quite needy i wouldn't worry about it... my grandma is the same way... of course she doesn't see me hardly but even if she does she still does it, even once a month isn't enough for her lol she's just being a posessive mother it's all, don't retort back to her because she will retort back with being his mother and all and it will strain your relationship with your boyfriend, just let his mother realize he's got a life of his own now, let her learn on her own in time, that's all you can do really, she doesn't want to let go of her little boy just yet aha.

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    • Remember that females love to bring out the worst in other females and compete with them just like males do to each other, it would only end with you hating each other if you retort back.

  • I would ignore her.

    My partner's Mom has said things I didn't always like or agree with.
    But I have learned to let family business be family business.
    She does not directing tell me anything, I just hear it from somebody elses mouth.

    Let her think whatever she wants.
    He is your man, this is your relationship.
    And you're going to continue to do what you can for it.

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    • *directing=directly

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    • It's your business, yes. But since she isn't saying those things directly to you... why would you confront her about it? She just seems jealous that's all.
      When I first started dating my man his Mom complained to him that I was stealing him away. He no longer went to family night and spent his time with me, even though I urged him to be with his family.
      That's just how Mom's are!
      Just ignore it.
      It will all pass.

    • The difference is he is a 27 year old man.

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