Why do some people decide to only call when they need something?

I have a friend that doesn't ever call me to just say what's up or see how I'm doing and when I call him he never answers or calls back. But for some reason when he's down and ready to kill himself, I'm the one he calls to talk him out of it. He'll text or call me when he's completely wasted and say things like,"oh my car is governed at 125 this sucks"

I don't want anything bad to happen to him, he's my friend and I care about him, but it would be nice if our conversations were a little more, oh I dunno, normal?

Does anyone have a friend like this? If so how do you deal with them?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I did, and to tell you the sad truth, I've been one of these 'friends' before too. Including the suicidal part. Not the drunk one though.

    How to deal with it, though? That's a bit more difficult. You obviously want him alive and well, so you can't really push him away, but you also want a real friendship with him. I suppose that if you want that, you're going to have to make the effort to include normal things in your friendship. Invite him out to do something normal, like, if you're into it, sports. Chat about movies or what you do day to day. Just gradually including normal things into your friendship will help not only with getting a decent friendship going, but also to help him get over any issues that he may be going through.

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      That's a wonderful suggestion but he's in Colorado and I'm in Virginia so it makes things difficult

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      Ouch, that is far. I suppose that means that regularly meeting him would be unlikely then?

      I haven't had many friends like this, but I did notice that it is more likely to happen if you set that as the basis for the conversations right at the beginning. If it's broader, it's likely that he'll talk more about anything else too. Perhaps if you find news from where he is you can phone and ask him about that? Or just to chat about whatever happened in the country? Random suggestions, I know.

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      Thank you I'll try that out. We have enough in common to where the conversations shouldn't always be so dark and depressing