Why is it so difficult for a black girls to be with a white guy?

Like there are so many black women out here that want or like white men, but unfortunately we're either looked down on from stereotypes or the guy is scared of us. lol I just don't get it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • i love black girls, well they are one of my favorite races of girls

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What Guys Said 47

  • Well let's see... you made a preferential decision to date white men therefore they can make the same decision to not date black women.

    It's all a matter of preference... interracial relationships are a lot more common nowadays so it shouldn't be that hard as long as you have a great personality and both people are generally attracted to each other.

    This shows the trend of interracial relationships... just a fun fact or sad for some lol

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjSh_esW9W4

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    • Ohhh didn't see that post haha

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    • @Tokana I completely agree haha I definitely didn't care about research when I went after my girlfriend who is Asian but race was nowhere close to my deciding factor... I'm just open to all as long as we connect.

    • exactly, just have to be open to new things I guess. I say if I can talk to u and connect who cares what ethnicity u are

  • It depends on the guy, I hardly believe black girls are necessarily "looked down on" except by immature hicks. Though many like myself are intimidated and do feel that so many aren't interested in white guys. Mostly choose to date black men. I see very few white guys with black girls.

    I figured that most were not interested, and in addition know of black men who are angered by it to an incredible degree. If there are so many other black girls like yourself out there. I and other white guys are in luck, as I am EXTREMELY attracted to black girls, you are gorgeous and would be honored to take you out on a date in a second! :)

    In general like others have said, it's difficult all around in the dating realm for any guy. Everyone, white girls, black girls expects us guys to "approach" them in some ideal setting.

    I wish these "stereotypes" and fears could end, break down cultural and societal barriers for good and embrace our natural attraction to each other!

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    • hehe awwah thank you, lol trust me there are other girls who like me are interested in white guys. I live in Chicago, I see about 5 black women and white men couples every once in awhile, depends on eighborrhood u go

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    • "Give us a try" is of course easier said then done in the grand scheme of things. Your lucky you live in a city as diverse as Chicago. When I see that combo of White guy/black girl, I feel the same way, its so beautiful! As for meeting and "talking to" them, I'm sure being in the right environment helps. Though as approaching any girl is tough, I feel most don't like being approached by a random guy in general, but hence the topic of your question, I have really kind of avoided black girls altogether. If I could do so, actually meet a black girl who would be open to date me, I would do my best to change her life, devote mine to her's and make her feel like a princess!

    • lol u don't have to avoid us, I mean yea it takes a lot to approach anyone who u don't know, but I think of it as what do u honestly have to lose? yes the environment helps a lot too. I say go how u feel, if u feel bad vibes then no but if u get good vibes go for it. awwah that is so sweet and romantic, personally that's one reason I like white guys, how some of u treat ur woman like a princess lol.

  • I agree that the two reasons you mention are at work some of the time, but a third reason, as front2back states, is that many black women have no interest in anything but black men, and they often relate that opinion to non-black men in a loud, demeaning way, and when that happens, it makes those guys shy away from pursuing a black girl the next time.

    But it really doesn't matter which reason is at work, because you have the power to overcome any of them, at least with a majority of men. Simply show him through your actions and behavior that you are interested in him, but also that you have class and self-respect, and if those things are genuinely true about you, then it will come through, and he'll notice, and then most of the fears and stereotypes he might have had will melt away. Yes, this means it can take a bit longer to work (it won't help hooking up in a bar, for example, but if you have class, you aren't doing that anyway).

    By being flirty and affectionate with a guy, you let him know you like him, and that's going to break down his biggest fear (this is true of any girl for most men, BTW). Granted, not every guy is going to be attracted to you, something true of any girl, but plenty will be as long as they know they actually have a chance. If they think they have no chance, they will mostly ignore you, and I bet that's what's been happening most of the time.

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    • U think they think they dont have a chance

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    • That's my point: after being painfully (and often publicly) shot down, most won't try again... which is why you need to make your interest in him known. That will give him the courage to make a move, and without it, most guys probably won't make a move, even if they want to.

    • Ohh ok lol I just thought that guys would just come silly me I forgot u guys get nervous as us

  • I've had the opposite problem. I say to the girl: "By all means, lemme see what you got. Best way to know if this is what either of us wants, is to examine the evidence."

    And... they run away scared. The fact that I don't act scared of them, seems to scare them. Damned if I don't, damned if I do.

    Other than my grandparents not approving, I've never had an issue per se with the idea of a black or mulatto girlfriend. But those fish just don't bite, sadly. And it's not like I don't wait patiently either. Yet, I almost always find them eventually going from some tall black guy who's dangerous and unstable - but who can wear facial hair a lot better than I can and is quite a bit taller.

    And what's the biggest difference between me and the guy she goes for? He can barely talk; and I require her to do her homework to understand what I'm saying. Why I get passed up for dumbbells, I'll don't know. My guess is, my natural articulation is intimidating somehow. And some women fear a man that can think faster than they can even more than they fear dumbbells that keep guns lying around in the open.

    Maybe you can make women make more sense to me in this regard; because to me it makes no sense at all.

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    • what is life? why do women act the way they do same for men? The ultimate questions of life

  • Bad opinion in 3, 2, 1...

    "Like there are so many black women out here that want or like white men"

    No there aren't. I live in a majority black city and most of the black girls I've met said they'd never date a white guy, maybe a Latino guy or mixed, but never full on white. I see latinas and other whites often looking at me often, I've maybe only seen one or two black girls. Most black girls I know only want to date black guys, and a good portion hate it when they see black guys with white girls.

    Anyways, yeah, prejudices do play a role, and I'd be afraid of what my family would think. People say prejudices are wrong, and I agree, but they're hard to ignore when you're exposed to them on a daily basis and they keep getting reinforced. In addition, My parents and family are surprisingly much more racist than I thought, although most of them are very old and grew up in the 50's-70's Deep South, so it shouldn't be a surprise.

    I'm not completely closed off to the idea by any means, and I've found myself attracted to some black women every now and then (although mixed is more likely). However, it's something I'm quite hesitant to do.

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    • lol, well its different where I live, most girls here are attracted to white guys. maybe its because they stay in the past during the slavery times, but come on people times have changed, not everyone is racist. Haha it sucks cause I usually hear white men say they will date a mixed girl, but the thing is she wouldn't be mixed if her parents didn't go with what they felt. if u really look at it, all black people are mixed in a way, how do u think they're so many shades of brown. lol I mean u won't know unless u give it a try

    • where i live as well most black girls like white guys. Maybe i live in a melting pot...

    • Hmm. Would your family make you hesitant to date any non-white person?

  • Come to me with that smile you have on your profile and I promise you no stereotype thoughts will go through my mind.

    I think it's like you say, stereotypes. Either we want it or not, we all stereotype people, there's a reason for why they're there. It's up to the person to show them that they're not similar to what the stereotypes say. Our first thought will most likely be a stereotype one, but there are guys that won't rely on that after they meet you, while others will keep thinking like that.
    Trust me when I tell you that the guys that matter, won't care what skin color you have, as long as you are a great person.

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    • hehe thanks :), once I had this guy tell me he liked tan brunettes. I was like im not a brunette and this is my color. I think that was his way of saying he liked me l I don't know

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    • lol well, honestly sometimes im not called black. haha I've been called Dominican before, indian, Egyptian, etc. I mean if u get technical im irish, Egyptian, creole, native American, black. I really don't care cause im a human and a female.

    • I like the last thing you said: human and a female. That's it, and that's the only thing that matters.

  • Blame the ghetto bitches that ruin it for everyone.

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  • I'll be honest there has been some very attractive black girls I've seem where i just keep starring, just absolutely gorgeous. But I don't know I feel like their standard for a man would be so much different than what I am.

    Besides those super pretty girls are usually walking with their black boyfriend or work in the modeling business lol. So there probably no chance I'll get with them.
    For the most part I wouldn't get with a black girl because there just isn't many I've found attractive in general. This mean apperance, attitude, American black culture, it can be a lot of things.

    Now a days tho, I see white guys getting with black girls which is probably the coolest thing. Their babies come out lookin awesome haha

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    • lol, well I guess I must be the ugly black girl huh. well white guys are always like umm I want a lightskin or mixed girl which is funny as hell because, the reason why there are mixed girls lightskin and other shades are because there parents INTERRACIALLY DATED haha. I mean seriously think about it. Im mixed, but yea im not lightskin like my sister, im brown or caramel as u can say. But yea, when interracial couples have children they definitely are nice.

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    • damn lol

    • @palmWave about the putting on a shield, does it seem like their withdrawn? Can you describe it? I think I do something similar, except it's because I feel like when white guys look at me, they expect me to be loud and stereotypical...

  • There are a couple of reasons. First off location there is the chance that most of the white guys who are interested in black women don't live near black women who are into white men. Another possibility is that their personalities clash. In addition is how people act or dress. Some fashions or ways of speaking that are more common with black women give some white guys the impression that all black women act that way. Last is some may just not find black women attractive. Ultimately though if you find a great guy the trouble of finding him is worth it.

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  • Years ago I didn't think they would be interested. I know that's often not the case now. Getting in a relationship can be tough for people of any race though.

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    • it is but u can't let society win, you shouldn't let anything stop how u feel about someone lol. Yes there will be boundaries but if you work together you can get past them. Don't let others take away ur happiness

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    • Which part is crazy?

    • all of it

  • We're afraid of shit like this:
    s3.amazonaws.com/.../...e-hoodrat-to-go-please.jpg

    There's plenty of black girls who aren't ratchet, but they can be hard to find. I dated one, another one smiled at me on the streetcar because we were both carrying bags from the same gym, but I don't know where to find them in large supply like I can white and Asian girls :(

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    • haha hmmm, that's really hard to answer. I don't know I mean we're everywhere. lol I go to school and shows and stuff or the library. Yes there are some black women who give us a bad name and stuff but some of us don't act that way. where do u live?

    • Even the cuckoos I've wanted to date had more class than that image. That chick looks possessed. I don't touch anything that I strongly suspect has that many demons inside.

    • haha

  • I think it's more than stereotypes. I think it's because naturally most people want to date within their race.

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    • I believe its because people are scared of what society will think. It shouldn't matter because society will always have something say

    • Well yeah I mean I'm sure that's a part of it too. Maybe it's both.

  • I've always been open to that but I thought it was the black women that was against it

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    • who ever told u that lied. We just don't think u want us, but seriously we do.

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    • Ask if they're intersted

    • haha that's really blunt :D

  • I've dated black girls.. Never had a problem with it, except for the racist slurs thrown at us. Would I date a black girl again of I had the chance? Absolutely.

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    • that is really good to hear ^_^

  • Most white guys think black women are not interested in them or that they won't have enough in common. I dated a black girl last year, we had ridiculous chemistry! I should call her or send her a text...

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    • lol u should, see hows she doing. but yea I mean there are black women who don't date white men because of the whole slavery shit, and what their parents say, or sex I guess, but honestly that stuff is just so ignorant. You can't go on the past, plus u could really miss out on someone really special like u said

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    • Thats good to hear lol

    • Well I'm just trying to put it out there u know, it couldhelp others take a chance and change opinions on things.

  • Maybe they think you might only be into black guys? Or maybe they just think your so gorgeous you must surley have a gf.

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    • haha actually, a lot of black girls like white guys. like me for instance lol.

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    • @asker UK yay! ^. ^

    • I figured there or California

  • I have no problem with being with a black woman, especially one that is pretty like yourself :) Where I live their aren't many black girls around and people tend to date their own races.

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  • Come on too strong? You don't know white people, White people don't just research black women,
    better to just smile , greet small, take it slow.

    well in my opinion, that's how it should go, may subject to change depending on white person's personality.

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    • lol, yea but guys can be slow sometimes and think ur just giving a friendly smile

    • I don't see why not, a friendly smile usually tells them, I'm friendly, say hi to me.

      I did it today, and I feel like the god of this world.
      crushing so hard on this Canadian girl.

    • haha awwah so cute

  • I feel like black girls have always been dismissive of me when I talk to them, where as the white and Mexican girls would shoe intrest

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    • hmmm, what do u mean exactly in terms of dismissive?

    • They don't really respond when I'm talking to them, I would usually get short replies and they don't smile when I tell hilarious jokes.

    • hmmm, well there are certain girl with preferences, maybe they just have never been exposed to being with a white guy.

  • It wouldn't be difficult with me. You are gorgeous!!! Maybe you are pursuing the wrong white guys. I'm right here, ma'am!

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    • lol I don't have a type tbh, I go for things I have in common

    • Okay, maybe tell me some of your interests?

  • no way I never scared :) I have big balls.. I mean i have guts to stand by what i like.

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  • I saw a set if statistics from okCupid. White guys were the most in demand by females of every race except black girls. it was measured by response rates and messages.

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    • wow, that's crazy. I mean everyone is different. I actually had a lot of luck on there ended up with my first bf lol.

  • No Black Girls ever ask me I guess because i am a rock musician & most Black girls wouldn't be found where I would frequent, I don't like Hip hop so Musically there is a divide but I would never reject woman based on race, never ever thats just stupid

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  • my friends ex was italian... the family was against it... so eventually they continued to date secretly and they slowly ended...

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    • wow, that's crazy, that's why u should stand up for it. Its only bad if u let people make u believe it

  • I feel like people just over think dating people of another ethnicity. Also, most white guys probably think that black girls want the generally larger packages that black guys have haha.

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    • haha, it varies, not all black women have asses same as all black guys don't have big packages. You never know until u try

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    • I'd probably get turned down so fast though that I would resemble a lightning bolt haha

    • haha im a nice girl, im very friendly. Im not superficial I do believe personality does play an important role

  • "or the guy is scared of us"

    Lmao, yeah, keep telling yourselves white guys are "scared" of black women, and *that's* why white guys don't date black. That's funny. :D

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    • lol then wats the answer

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    • Evidently it counts for quite a few, judging by your question. Your own statement says "there are so many black women out here that want or like white men, but unfortunately we're either looked down on from stereotypes or the guy is scared of us."

      Inferring from your question, apparently most white guys plainly look down at black girls, or flat out ignore them.

    • well the girls that ik are black have said they like white guys, and I've asked several white guys who do like black girls, and most of them always say they are scared. Even my last bf who as white admitted he always wanted to date one but he heard so much about "us" that made him and most other guys stray from going for it

  • It's not because of stereotypes or whatever, it's just that many of us don't find most black women attractive.

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  • Not realy somethin I gota think about. In murray bridge south Australia I dont c much black at all not even any aborigines. A few Asians but most r white. Not realy any were to go to meet African American shilas lol.

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    • Hehe that sucks, I definitely need to go to australia

  • Black girls have never shown any interest in me.

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    • where do u stay? lol

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    • Yes it sure does, there are plenty of attractive black girls with great personalities. :)

    • exactly! lol :)

  • Really? I thought it was Blacks girls who didn't like White guys...

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    • haha no, TRUST ME BLACK GIRLS LIKE WHITE GUYS... a lot

  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 17

  • I don't think it's that difficult. Recently I've noticed that I attract a lot of white guys from all kinds of backgrounds. The white guys that have approached me haven't been as heavy-handed when it comes to flirting as some of the black guys that usually approach me, so more often than not I don't even notice.

    The way you worded your question makes it sound like you're waiting on them to approach you, so maybe you should just approach white guys you're interested in first and see how it goes from there? I think most guys would appreciate any attractive girl with a nice personality no matter what her race is.

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  • I think you're making this more complicated than it needs to be. Personally, I have never experienced issues with guys of ANY race/ethnicity being interested in me. I've get asked out/hit on/ checked out by white men all the time. I'm by no means an extremely attractive woman either.
    Now, to answer your question, yes steryotypes against black women still exist. There also are guys that may be shy about interracial dating.
    Look at things this way, not all men are the same, not all white men are the same. If there's a guy you like , be friends and get to know him, if he likes you great, if he dosen't like you move on.

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  • I assume you like white guys? From my experience, they might not approach you because they aren't sure if you like white guys. Like I'll go to a club, for example, & not really talk to or dance with any guys, or maybe some black guys, but as soon as I'm seen dancing with one white guy, all the other white guys come flocking.

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    • That is so true lol that happens to me too

  • cultural issues, "courtship" issues, racism issues

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  • I guess I got lucky then lol all of my boyfriends have been either white or Mexican my current boyfriend is white and I'm black. đź’•

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    • Not that I'm bragging I swear I just think you have to find the right guy and it'll all work out @asker

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    • 'I guess I got lucky... all of my boyfriends have either been white ir mexican'

      lol... ok calm down.

  • Attraction has no reason
    If a person doesn't like another, he or she just doesn't.
    I saw black girl with caucasian guy before

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  • They only want the hot good looking ones but they're always taken.

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  • it's no more difficult than it is to be in any other intimate relationship for others.

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  • Because today's days are so screwed up and people think you can't date outside your color which is a lot of bs.

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    • its so ignorant

    • Ikr it's dumb if you really love someone then the skin color won't matter and must j say tere is some pretty black girls like drop dead gorgeous that a guy on any color would be dumb to pass up. Including you

  • Why do you want to be with a white guy so bad?

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    • Probably just her preference I suppose lol

    • It really doesn't matter, I was just curious to see the huge taboo. but they are indeed attractive as if any ethnicity

  • I think you're gorgeous! If it helps us white girls have a hard time dating white guys too.

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    • awwah thank you love :3. Yea sometimes I wish I could just wear a shirt that says im down for interracial dating lol. I didn't know that, do u go to a diverse school?

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    • Toronto schools are diverse, Waterloo has a lot of white guys, I don't know if you're Canadian but I'm sure all of the Candian boys would be all over you :) don't worry girl I'm sure there are tons of guys dying to date you :)

    • haha I live in Chicago, one of the most segregated cities D:

  • Based on your picture I'd say you're trying to hard and it has nothing to do with your skin color. You're very pretty it has nothing to do with how you look.

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  • Focus less on white guys and maybe go for Asian, Latino, or even Indian men.

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    • I'm down for watever lol if ur attractive to me and I connect it then who cares about ur ethnic background

  • Weirdly its not as hard... like lately I swear more white guys hit me up than black guys god knows why. There are a lot genuinely into black women but, don't really get the exposure to them they say

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    • Yea same for me, lol its so stupid, I get more white guys talk to me than black guys. They tell me ether im not "black" enough for them or they strictly like white girls which I don't have a problem with.

    • Haha same the other day I was like to my mum... black guys barely talk to me these days mainly white guys are interested in me. But, girl I feel you lol

  • Maybe it's just where you live. I live in the city of the Seahawks and you see all types of people together here.

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  • A white guy dating a black chick means that the guys in bad company a white girl dating a black guy means she's so much of a slut that no white man would respect her

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    • that's crazy :/

    • I'm sorry to break it to you sweetie bit it's true

    • stop your young and ignorant you have much growing to do. non of what said about that is true.

  • Because white guys don't take us seriously. They just want to use us for sex, they don't want to have a serious relationship with a black woman.
    And the stereotypes don't help us.

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    • If that was the case, it would be the same as the white women too. Color of skin don't make a difference.

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    • That's what I learned. You're an exception. @G-Daz

    • It is true. It's sad, but it's true. They just use us. @cuteguy22

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