Boyfriends and strip clubs how do you girls feel about it and how do you guys feel about it?

So my boyfiend recently went to a trip to Colorado with his friends and I found out yesterday that he went to a strip club while he was there... We have talked about this and I told him I don't like those places because I feel it's disrespectful for him to go and he said he would never go to one until I went with him or approved for him to go.. But I don't know what to make of him going because I realized that him going didn't change him/who he is/how he is... by the way we have been dating for 2 years nd 8 months.. So girls how do you feel about your boyfriend going to strip clubs? And guys what are your thoughts on going to strip clubs while in a relationship?

Updates:
I feel very strongly about him going to a strip club and even though it's been two years I am seriously concediring ending the relationship..

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Well, I haven't ever been to a strip club, and I'd never to go one regardless of my relationship status. Adding money to sex like that just feels to cheap and demeaning. This is coming from my perspective though, and I know that others might (rightfully) feel differently.

    With your guy and the situation you guys are in, I think you have every right to be upset to the point of considering a breakup. I mean, you told him that you didn't like it, and he agreed that he wouldn't go unless he spoke to you about it first.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I don’t think it’s appropriate for anyone that is in any type of committed relationship to be at a strip club, and it’s just down right wrong if your married. A strip club is a place a guy goes and pays a woman to act like they like him while they grind on him with a lap dance or are taking dollar tips while the are dancing. Why does a guy that already has the real thing need to be there?

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  • You shouldn't be too bothered by it. Beautiful women are on TV, at the beach, in movies, or on the Victoria's Secret show on CBS every year. There isn't going to be some revolutionary change in your BF's behavior because he goes to a strip club. He will be separated from him money though. However, yes, once he's in a relationship, he doesn't need to go to a strip club, but it is still something fun to do - especially with buddies. It's more of a guy bonding experience. Is it disrespectful to women? Maybe, but those young ladies make a very nice $$ doing what they do.

    As for your BF, do you happen to know where the strip club is? That's a rhetorical question for me, but may help you. A good rule of thumb is that strip clubs are near airports or any congregation of lots of hotels because it is something fun for business to do - especially when away from their wife or GF. They don't want to get in trouble, but just want to feel young and have a little fun looking at beautiful young girls with fake tits.

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    • I understand if we were older but we are 19 and I feel like right now there is no need for him to go to a strip club and Look at other girls because I'm not old and wrinkled yet!

    • It doesn't work that way. First-off, you have to ask yourself: "If he went on that trip to Colorado without his friends, would he actively find and then go to a strip club?" Almost certainly, no because he has so much else he'd likely want to do. This was probably more like "Dude, you know, there's a strip club two blocks from here! Let's go!" and so, as one-of-the-boys, he goes. So, he's normal and his going to a strip club is just as harmless as is he bought an issue of Playboy. However, if he deliberately went out of his way to go to a strip club by himself, then you might have an issue.

      Meanwhile, don't ever think "He doesn't need to do that; he has me." He doesn't need to watch football either or fuck for that matter since he can get a visit from Mister Handy. Doing these things - watching football or fucking - is fun. That argument women use is like your husband saying "You got enough shoes at home, why do you need to shop more?" Going to a strip club is window shopping.

    • There's an old Italian housewives' proverb that I am sure is paraphrased and co-opting by umpteen other groups. It goes like this: "It doesn't matter where your husband gets his appetite as long as he eats at home."

  • Screw that
    if you're with someone, that's the only person you should have ya eye on... not some half naked dancer o_O

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  • in my opinion I wouldn't make a huge fuss over that. He was out of state with 3 guys and no mode of transportation. He couldn't exactly Say 'Hey guys, have fun. I'll just wait here in the car in this sub zero temperature'.

    Assuming he didn't go to the champagne rooms. Otherwise it's just a bar with scantly clad women walking around and one of them appearing to be removing her clothes on a poorly lit stage.

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  • Why would I go to a strip club, when I can get the best right at home? Your boy may have been peer pressured to go.

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    • He was with just 3 other guys and they were in a different state and the only car the had wasn't his so I do feel like maybe he could have been peer pressured but that doesn't make it any less disrespectful ?

    • I wouldn't say it wasn't disrespectful.

  • I don't like strip clubs because they aren't the real thing and I want more real women!

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  • Wow lol, ending the relationship because he goes to strip clubs huh? Well, not really that surprising, you're young and want to be the center of his world. You do realize that no matter what guy you date, he will innately want to look at other women. It's who we are, so instead of getting upset over it, accept what he is, and just work around it.

    Not like he's having sex with the strippers, so you're just jealous that it's not you who wants to spend that time with.

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    • I get guys checking out girls he's a guy I get it but paying to see girls dance naked? I mean I get that when I'm old wrinkled and don't have energy to dance for him anymore he might want to go to one because I can't provide that but if I have the energy to dance for him what would be his need to go pay and see what he already has? That's what bothers me about it

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    • the way some of you guys explain it makes it seem not so bad... But I still feel cheated on and disrespected... How would I go about getting over that?

    • Welll it's definitely not cheating, but from a woman's perspective, I can see why you feel the way you do. But it's mainly the "Am I not enough for him?" thought you have to get out of your head. The quote I have on my profile applies to this situation, 2 years and 8 months is a LONG time for a young guy to be faithful. Women really don't appreciate the sacrifice men make when we commit to one woman.

      Just be happy he didn't actually have sex with someone, because a lot of men would have. Don't think much of his trip to the strip club, just brush it aside, that's the best way to go about it. Because if you start getting on his ass about it, then you become the nagging girlfriend, and when you do that, he will want to not be around you, and if he's not with you, that increases the chances of him going right back to the gals on the pole.

  • Its nothing if you start complaining at him for doing that it will seriously get on his nervous, I've been in the same situation that I went to a strip club with mates in my last relationship and one of my snake 'friends' told my ex and then she just wouldn't let it go. At least he's not cheating on you with a prostitute put it that way.

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  • I go. I'm single. But that's an obvious reason I go. I have been trying to keep myself from it though because I realize how bad it really is, especially since I don't have a job, and I'm only getting SSI right now. One of the guys I met once, is a guy who DOES have a girlfriend. She knows he goes. He told me that when he does go, she makes him sleep on the couch, as a form of punishment. It's his place, but, if he wants to have fun AND have a girlfriend, he needs to learn that he can't really do that. So, she just punishes him, but doesn't actually end the relationship

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What Girls Said 5

  • There are strip clubs and there is a relationship with me. He cannot have both.

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  • I wouldn't be okay with anyone I'm in a committed relationship with go to a strip club.

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  • No I dont like. If it is lad holiday it tend to be wild

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    • why don't u go to those clubs to see guys and let him know
      i like to know his reaction

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    • I understand my boyfriend is super jelouse and if I ever did that he wouldn't even think twice about ending it with me..

    • so he can do that but u can't?
      what nonsense.

  • 2 types of guys go to a strip club. Those who want to and those who need to. The want to's go about 5 times in the whole lifetime. Then they get disgusted or cloyedl whatever. The ones you need to have an emotional need because they have difficulty relating to a woman. They other regulars

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  • I would not be okay with it. And quite frankly I don't see how anyone in a committed, loving, monogamous relationship would be okay with their significant other intentionally going out to watch other women take off their clothes.

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