Is this normal behavior for a guy?

I've been dating this guy for 2 years now. He's very sweet and caring, but I have a problem with getting him to open up. He gets very uncomfortable when talking about emotions. He doesn't get angry very easily, if I'm upset with him and do something wrong, he usually lets it go and we never talk about it. For example, he cancelled a date on me and I got really upset and I told him he was selfish and hung up. I called back the next day to apologize and he didn't seem bothered by it, thankfully. If I ask him a personal question about his beliefs, his family, his childhood, or anything else, he tends to change the subject. If I ask him about out future, he also changes the subject. He was raised in a good home with a loving family. I've known him since I was a kid, and his siblings are different from him, meaning they have no problem opening up. He seems very careless and only talks about his day or a funny story he saw, never anything with real meaning. I've talked to him about this before, and he got mad because he said I was making him feel guilty for how he is. How do I get him to open up? I'm finding it difficult to connect with him on a deeper level. Is this just how guys are? Should I accept it or what? How do I talk to him about it without making him feel bad?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No body truly is that way.
    He has a lot of hurt in his soul and wants to keep all of it bottled up.
    Ignoring his feelings is what keeps him strong in his mind.
    He has to learn that he is doing the opposite.
    Not dealing with your feelings and treating situations as if they have never occurred is a weakness.
    It's easier for him to act like negative things did not exist than to deal with them head on.

    "How do I get him to open up?"
    Forcing him to/constantly bringing up this issue will allow him draw back from you even more
    In due time, when he is ready to open up or reveal things about his past he will.

    Sometimes people don't ever get to that point.
    If this continues to put a wedge between the both of you, at some point you
    have to decide, "is it worth being in a relationship with someone I really don't even know at all?"
    Although you know him, technically he is still a stranger because there is so much
    he has not shared with you.

    If he ever does decide to, you both will grow so much closer.

    You already did your part by expressing how you feel.
    All you can do is sit back and give it time.
    Good luck !

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What Guys Said 2

  • it might be possible that there might be some incident in the past when he got a huge shock in his life and now he doesn't want to recall it! he is actually have trust issues... all i suggest is that earn his trust by opening yourself up!

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  • He doesn't want to say the wrong thing to scare you off. Lots of guys won't open up to a girl fearing they will say something that will kill their chances with you.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Some people don't really like talking about their feelings and emotions as it makes them uncomfortable but this can cause problems in relationships as sometime they bottle it up inside and never talk about it and don't make others aware that they are hurt by something. If this is causing problems i think the best thing to do would be to sit down and try to get him to talk about it and if he tries to change the subject, calmly explain how you feel and that you would like him to open up to you. Hope this helps, let me know how it goes.

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