Maybe I am just not good enough?

I don't feel good enough at all. :( me and this guy met in November. We were going on dates, and we had sex. he got out of a 7 year relationship a month before. In the beginning he even said "but I'd like to be with you aside from the sex is what you fail to realize" He texted me every day, told me he likes me a lot and I'm not just sex. We would hang out without having sex. He talked about meeting parents and maybe taking me to his best friend's wedding in May. one day he was acting distant and I went crazy texting him 50 times. he told me he was done. we went a week without talking and then we grabbed lunch 2 weeks ago. he paid, and we didn't have sex. he then told me he's not looking for a relationship. I asked him if there were feelings and he said "I did have feelings" and he said "Idk what I want and I dont want to lead you on." Then I asked if this was my fault and he said "it definitely isn't you" then this past thurs we had sex and got lunch after. A week ago I asked him if he wanted to have sex. he said "can't have class" then I said "when can you" he said "idk shay in class can't talk" then I asked if he still wanted to have sex in general, and he didn't answer. Hours later I apologized for asking and he said "it's ok babe." It's been a week haven't heard from him.

1. Did he ever have any feelings for me? Or was he just using me for sex?
2. Does he not wanna be with me because I messed up or was he never looking for a relationship to begin with?
3. Do you think I will hear from him again?
4. If I messed up from sending the 50 texts, why has he hung out with me after that?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Your emotions are getting the best of you - you said it best at the beginning: he just got out of a 7 year relationship a month before. There are a lot of complications going on in his life and a lot of lingering feelings. At first he may of been able to ignore them and focus on you (And likely focus on you very hard); however, those issues have a way of catching up with people no matter how much they may try to ignore it.

    1) He probably did have feelings, but they were likely infactuations and not deep ones. Deep bonds take a lot of time to form - however words can be bandied about very easily.

    2) You likely didn't mess up - in fact you may have to accept that no matter what you did the outcome would still be the same.

    3) You may hear from him again, but i would strongly suggest backing off - your emotions will send you on tilt. It's best if you move on.

    4) He's confused and things are complicated and people do things that seemingly don't make sense because they are tied up in their own emotional battles as well. Again i know it's hard, but its best if you move on and prevent yourself from getting caught up in this any more.


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What Guys Said 2

  • He likes u, I was in a similar situation
    But the blowing up phone texts would scare me away,

    I wanted to go slow, let the attention build and grow into a strong bond
    But her to leap into something serious and being insecure scared me off, reminded me why I left my relationship

    To hear from him again, Ud have to play it cool. Be less available, give him space

  • It has nothing to do with your worth, and everything to do with him being on the rebound. If you want a relationship, this isn't the guy that's going to be able to give you that.


What Girls Said 2

  • He was using you

  • Why are you basing your self worth on a guy? If that's how you think of yourself then yes, you're really not good enough