We had a connection, now we barely talk?

Up until a week ago things were going well with this dude I met last October. The last time we met up, we spent 90% of the time laughing and we were flirting more than usual. Every so often we would look over at each other and it's felt like there was definitely a spark. Its was the most fun I've had in a long time.

I find it hard to show how I feel or let guys I know I'm interested.. I say things in a hope it will be understood and its often misinterpreted. I'm shy and awkward at times so that doesn't help either.

In the past guys have thought they have been friendzoned or I'm not interested when that hasn't been the case. This guy has been acting a little distant and I'm not sure why. I'm thinking to stop assuming why, call him up and ask why things have changed without sounding needy you could say. I genuinely want to know if it's down to my actions again. I do really like him and it seems a shame to not get closure.

Do you think this is a good idea?

Updates:
Ok I spoke to him. I said we've drifted and he agreed. He doesn't feel like there's a spark and when we are together it seems like we are more friends than anything. He made reference to the fact he was affectionate towards me, where as I'm not. But he enjoyed my company. I told him I thought we were heading towards the other direction but obviously not. Then I was really quiet for the rest of the conversation. :( I don't wanna stay friends so this is the last time I'll probably talk to him.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If your messages get conflicted then yes he could very well feel like he is just seen as a friend. Many people have a hard time being straight with each other because it makes them feel vulnerable.

    My advice is to be as clear as possible. If you're having trouble don't do it in an "ad hoc" style. Write down on paper the clearest message you can and have it in front of you when you call him.

    Be sure to convey that message - this way without a doubt you can send your thoughts clearly to him :).

    Even something like "I really enjoyed our time together, you're a great guy and I'd like to see you again"

    His reaction will make clear how he feels.

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    • That summed me up pretty much. I don't want to seem vulnerable but how am I going to get through life running away from situations like this.

      I'm just going to have to be brave and hope for the best. Thanks for the writing down idea, gotta make sure I don't get my words Muddled!

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    • You made a bold step talking to him - it's so important we step out of our comfort zones when the answers matter to us. I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out, but its so much better knowing rather than feeling chained onto someone who just wanted to be friends.

      Don't blame yourself - you did everything you could do and i know it doesn't necessarily make things any easier, but i promise with time you'll start to feel better. The sooner this was done the sooner you can move on to other things.

    • Thank you. It does feel a lot better and I'm glad I called him. Just find it odd that he kept saying things like ' it seemed liked one person liked the other more ' when neither of us have spoken about feelings, my friend thinks he's referring to himself. Who knows!

What Guys Said 1

  • Yeah, you need to ask him upfront. This friendzone is a real pain in all the wrong places. Also, since it has now become kinda 'trendy' for women to friendzone men for the most trivial reasons, men often take the cautious appraoch and assume the worst (that is, being friendzoned) even if they feel a slight 'imbalance'. So you need to clear things up with him.

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    • I've noticed this trend also. Let's hope he doesn't think he's in this category. I'll call him tonight to see what's going on. Thank you

    • You're welcome!

    • Ok I spoke to him. I said we've drifted and he agreed. He doesn't feel like there's a spark and when we are together it seems like we are more friends than anything. He made reference to the fact he was affectionate towards me, where as I'm not. But he enjoyed my company. I told him I thought we were heading towards the other direction but obviously not. Then I was really quiet for the rest of the conversation. :( I don't wanna stay friends so this is the last time I'll probably talk to him.

What Girls Said 0

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