How do I stop being racist?

I don't know why but I have never been attracted to black women. I've never made an active descis ion not to be I'm just not. An i'm attracted to almost every other ethnicity so it's confusing to me. I guess it's because what I find the most attractive in a girl is her hair and skin and eyes. And I mean the eyes are obviously fine. And I've never been a fan of curly hair and dark skin regardless of race. In fact Im very attravted to very pale skin (might be because Im quite pale myself) so Im even a bit unattracted to very suntanned european women. It just happens that most black/African women have this look naturaly. How do I make myself think different? I also don't wanna start dating these women just to not seem racis to other people that's just dumb. And Im also quite average attractive wise and the only black women I find attractive (because there's of course still millions of them that are even to me) are wayyyy above my league so I might as well date a girl of another race with average looks that I still find about as attractive but might actually like me back. I guess it's also that I'm very unattracted by the idea or having children with someone that will make them not look like me even in the slightest. But then again I'm sure there are millions of African women that feel the exact same problems that I said but about European/white guys so maybe I'm overthinking it? Can someone please still give me tips I wanna be open minded.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • The black women that you consider way above your league are they dark in complexion? Because I'm confused you said you didn't like any race with tan or darker pigment. (It just so happens that no matter the shade of a black person , even if they are light, they are still a lot darker than whites ).
    I don't think you are racist because you don't have extreme hate for a race.
    You just simply aren't attracted.
    You have a preference.
    I think you are trying to be open minded but in your case, I don't think it will work.
    Ex.
    If I were only attracted to muscular guys.
    And forced myself to be attracted to a non-fit guy.
    I would probably create all sorts of problems in our relationship because I genuinely didn't like this person, and only wanted to go out with him to try to be different.
    Sometimes you can't control what you like.

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    • To me a black woman that is seen as a 9/10 by the average person is about as attractive as a 6/10 woman of my own race. I'm as attracted to both but I obviously have a bigger chance with one of them. Tl;Dr 9/10 black woman= 6/10 my own race in my eyes

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    • No I ment that what the rest of the world would consider a 9/10 looking woman is a 6/10 in my eyes if she is black

    • Wow ok. I take back what I said. You're steady bouncing back and forth. I advise you not to date a woman of color if u can't see her as beautiful

What Girls Said 7

  • Honestly sweet heart it's okay for you not to like black women your not racist for having a preference. It's your personal preference. Also it's not always that mixed children take on a dark skin many mixed children are actually very light or "high yellow" . But if that's not what you like than that's also perfectly fine :)

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    • I don't know I remember I saw a mixed couple at the airport (black girl and white guy) and the kids looked like they maybe had a white grandparent at most

    • Well even still if that's not your preference than it's no reason to think your racist or that your wrong for your preference it's just your preference.

  • You're overthinking shit. Just stop. Don't force attraction. Like who you like and accept it.

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  • Yes, you're over thinking. Just because you aren't attracted to someone, it doesn't make you racist. Nobody cares who you date. You simply have a preference.

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  • Well... I mean maybe its just your preference. Its not really racist that you don't find them attractive

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    • Yeah I guess so. I mean I wouldn't think a girl was racit if she thought white guys were ugly. Maybe Im overthinking it

    • Lol I assure you, you are

  • Just live your life? Black women really don't care, I can promise you that.

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    • Well I don't wanna miss out. What happens if my perfect match is black and I can't feel any attraction because of her looks? It's a genuine fear of mine

    • Do you know how many "perfect" matches we miss out on because we think that person is ugly and wouldn't touch them with a ten foot pole? I'm not saying you think black women of that caliber, but still the comparison is valid. You can't worry about the missed, just worry about what you have.

    • Yeah that's actually true. I guess I just wish I could be less picky for my own sake

  • You are not racist , it is just your preference , if you want to like dark skinned female like black for example look up picture of some and try to find some traits you like about their appearance and personality (if you see one in person). :)

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  • I wouldn't say ur racist it's just ur dating preferance

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What Guys Said 9

  • You probably just can't handle the booty.

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    • I never actually mentioned body shape though. I'm generale attracted to a woman's face not the rest of the body (to the same extent)

  • you must realise that being a racist is a stupid thing first of all...

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    • Well I know it's dumb but I just can't feel any attraction towards African facial features etc.

  • You're not being racist. You can't force attraction, and you admit that you find some black women attractive, just not many. There are racists that flat or refuse to consider dating outside their race, but that's not what you're doing.

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  • That's not racism, it's called preferences. But, I don't think its a good idea to post it on here, some girls have low confidence of beauty in their race cause they see things like this.

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  • That's not racism really, you're just not attracted to them because of the way they look. That's not like saying that you hate them at all.

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  • I don't know dude. Im white and I'm not really attracted to any other race besides hispanic girls. I dont think that makes you racist its just what you prefer

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  • You aren't racist. You just aren't attracted to them

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  • Stop watching msnbc

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