Abusive controlling people can they change?

I am with a man who has hit me. Is there a chance that he will change if he takes the steps to do so?

  • Yes
    12% (1)38% (3)25% (4)Vote
  • No
    88% (7)62% (5)75% (12)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think so, men who hit women have that cowardly violent streak in them. With therapy they can suppress it, but it'll always be there. When they lose control or when it suits them, they'll hit you again.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Anything is possible, but studies, and my own experience had shown that those odds are very miniscule indeed, and only happen after long bouts of therapy and if the person WANTS to change. I would say they are so low you would be far better off just leaving.

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  • No. It's like how once a dog bites, it has to be put down because it's recognised as a dangerous animal.

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  • its possible and the rate of progress depends on the guy.

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  • As someone who used to be very controlling, I'll say no they can't change when they are in the relationship with the person they are controlling. They are obviously not mature enough to be in a relationship, so they control them. They need to reflect on the things they have done, and after that reflection they'll become mature enough to be in a relationship. But, they can't reflect while being in a relationship.

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  • Those people see no reason to change, therefore voted B).

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  • Everybody can change behaviour if they really want to, it may be hard though but it can be done.

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What Girls Said 4

  • It depends on the person but generally speaking, no, people like that don't change. You are only doing yourself a disservice by staying with him. Him hitting you is unacceptable and you staying with him just sends the message that it's okay. You need to leave this abusive situation, not sit around hoping he'll change because that very rarely happens. Usually, abusive people just escalate their abuse as time goes on. You don't deserve this, stand up for yourself and leave him, before it gets worse.

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  • Are you willing to spend your entire life waiting for him to change? Stop being naive, grow a pair and walk away. Do you have relatives to help you out? If yes, ask for help. It's not embarrassing to ask for help when you clearly need it. I am sorry for what you're going through. I hope things get better for you.

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  • From my experience.. No. Usually abusers learn such behavior from family like grew up watching his father hit mother or just don't know how to correctly voice anger. Sometimes therapy or angry management helps, if they're even willing to go. But take it from celebrities, Chris brown/rhianna, tina Turner/ike, that football player rice, it just gets worst and you'll end up being dragged out an elevator or with your ear bitten.. get out why you can!

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  • I find a punch in the face makes a very profound impact on their lives forever.

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