Single and starting to worry?

Hey guys. I'm turning 23 in a couple of weeks and I start feeling slightly uncomfortable about the fact I've never had a boyfriend or even made it to a date. I know there are even older girls and guys out there with the same problem but I kind of start to worry. I've fallen for very good guys several times but they didn't like me back but were tactful enough to turn me down in a delicate way, I'm thankful for that. Still, negative examples teach you only one thing - that possitive examples are exceptions and they are super rare. But I find it quite bitter that at 23 I have never met aybody who would have been interested in me as in a girl (there are people who want to work together or to be friends though and it's cool, they are great).

Also I always had this suspicion that although im my opinion I'm quite pretty, the word "sexy" is not about me - I'm funny, humorous, kind, understanding, anything, but not sexy. I've noticed that girls become really sexy when they are coming across somebody who likes them (even though they might not like the guy back), they feel their feminine power and become more sexually confident, if you know what i mean. But how is it possible to become more sexually confident if there is nobody who think you might be? It's a vicious circle.

Also I noticed that if you are capable of dealing with stuff alone, guys don't like you that much because they don't feel that they are strong and you are vulnerable, but the longer you are staying alone and single, the more you are getting used to taking care of your own business. Vicious circle #2.

It seems I don't really have a question, but I just wanted to share some thoughts and described my situation. I'd be grateful for any comments and thoughts. Thanks.


Most Helpful Guy

  • its okay to worry but I would try to not stress over it. its not as big a deal for you right now. just continue to be yourself, improve yourself, and put a little bit of effort everyday.

    • What do you specifically mean by effort?
      To narrow the sphere of your answer I'm mentioning: I have a job I'm good at, I'm going to evening courses in order not to give up on my hobby I'm passionate about, I'm doing sports, I go out quite often.

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    • i guess friends will always try and help out, its funny they seem to have a sense that they can butt into our business hahaa.

    • Yeah, but just ask me to come for a dinner and ask your single cousin Bill to come and let it develop naturally, don't tell me you are inviting Bill for me to practice:)


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What Guys Said 3

  • being single is great. although this is just my opinion.

    but see the good side of things... single means FREEDOM

    • In order to appreciate freedom you need smth to compare it with.

  • I'm 24 and never got lucky

  • i'm a little older than you and still single, always have been


What Girls Said 2

  • It's only an issue because you make it an issue. Dont put being in a relationship on such a high caliber that you feel "less than" or "insecure" for never being in one. Your time will come. In the mean time, focus on yourself. Go out and achieve your dreams. Enjoy life with your friends. Build up your confidence. Sooner or later you're gonna meet a guy and you guys are gonna connect. All the other guys in the past? Just look at them as guys that prepped u to meet the right guy. Maybe through those other guys u discover the mistakes u made. Maybe u werent ready to be in a relationship then. Think of things more positive instead of "Ive never been in a relationship Im a loser". Change your mentality. Tell yourself that when the time is right you WILL be in a (healthy & happy) relationship but in the meantime, u should live your life: have fun & achieve all u can :)

    • Well, I don't consider myself a loser because of that, I'm just slightly surprised because I've never been that type of a girl who is waiting for a prince to come and that he will be the one and only, and I never shared the idea that you should stay virgin till the marriage or smth like that. I've always been more realistic about it all. But it seems I'm ending up in prince-waiting situation although I've never wanted to ;)

    • I was just hypothetically speaking but Im glad u dont consider yourself a loser because of your situation. Its nothing wrong with wanting a relationship. we all have wants & needs but Im just saying since its not happening at the moment u shouldn't feel bad.. u should enjoy your life until u do find the right guy.

  • Same problem but they were not tactful about rejection so I am more terrified of doing the wrong thing when it comes to guys.

    • Well, the guys I was falling for never openly told me "No", possibly because I never approached them in a opened way. I mean, I approached them so that the way I feel wath pretty obvious but I never told I loved them. So they always found a way to let me know that I'm very nice, cute and it's great to be my friend but -but-but, so I didn't feel that it was a real rejection although it was.

    • These were pretty mean about it.

    • pity (