No luck with online dating. Is there something off-putting in my profile?

I've been on okcupid and POF for two years, Tinder for about 6 months, and I have had zero luck. I have only met two women from the sites in two years. In that span of time I went on a date with a lady after exchanging several messages and a few phone conversations, it went well, pretty hot make out session in her car for a couple hours afterwards. She could tell that I'm not a burnout but she wasn't too comfortable that I smoke weed based on her past experience, so we moved on, no biggie, she was nice and forthright about it. I met another lady who was a 92% match, I thought we had a lot in common, a lot of the same interests, more than previous relationships, she seemed interested started to hangout after messaging a few weeks, she initiated text conversations every day, hung out once or twice a week for a couple months, then all of a sudden it just stopped. No idea why. Thought she might've met someone else, though didn't seem so according to Facebook. Last couple messages didn't get a response so I stopped. Bummer oh well. Outside of that, I've managed to get at least 15-20 phone numbers; most seemed interested but stopped responding after a couple texts, and a good amount never responded at all after saying "text me some time" (so weird). I look forward to meeting someone new, learning about someone, getting to know, so I carry myself in communication that way and act like it. I'm wondering if I should change my approach somehow. I work full time, have creative interests, take care of myself and responsibilities, no kids, never been married, 95% of women are immediately turned off that I currently live with family (high medical costs, student loans, changing careers, classes, etc…) which sucks but… I'm just trying to further educate myself while being patient.
Is there a way that I could get some feedback or a critique with my dating profile info? To be honest, I don't have many female friends to ask about this stuff.

Updates:
this is my okcupid profile http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mts12
Basically I can't move out until I get a new better job, but as you know it's rough out there. I've been searching long and hard for a new job for a few years now, but have only had a couple interviews. That's why I'm getting back into educating myself and expanding my job skills. It's all in progress, but of course change can't happen soon enough. One can go back n forth forever on whether to hold off on dating/meeting new people vs. that's a stupid reason not to try.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Admitting your shy, less independent than average and being less adventurous than average would probably not help your case. However other than that I don't see anything else that is striking bad or off-putting you seem like an interesting, fun enough guy it seems odd to me that you've had no luck. I also live at home and they don't seem to like that maybe if you can move out and get your own place, they probably think you have financial issues and can't take care of them. Many say they don't want to be taken care of but a great majority end up working part time or being stay at home moms so you need to make that money man. I myself have tried online dating and I haven't had much luck either I had two texting buddies if you will but one lasted a couple days and the other a few weeks and then nothing. In my case both were far away enough so I couldn't meet up within a week or two I would have to plan a trip to see them. One was 4 hours away the other was 8 hours away. Good luck man hopefully things start working out

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What Girls Said 6

  • Only thing i see to be a bit off so far is that you smoke weed and still live with your parents, but those two things shouldn't be big enough to make all these women randomly disappear. I mean there are plenty of people who smoke and live with their folks... So yea, I'm tryna figure out whats possibly wrong here... maybe its the certain type of girls you go for. I guess just sit back and let em come to you

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    • I didn't always live with parent. I actually didn't start smoking weed til about 5 years ago to get off a couple prescriptions I was on at the time (digestive and sleep related, i'd say my health ailments are maintained by diet, exercise, and weed). I believe i try to cast a wide net so that I'm not being too picky or critical of people and/or so that I might even be pleasantly surprised, so I don't know what "type" i'm going for really other than their profile having things in common or of interest and a smile pleasing to my eyes. The ones that "come to me"… it's rare or same thing; communication just stops on their end. I'm not being "creepy" or "perv" in any way. I'm conversational about their interests, ask about what they do with their day, what they enjoy, etc…

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    • I'm 32, the closer to my age the better but the age range I generally search is 26-36.

    • Yea i just wanted to make sure they didn't think you were some old pedo

  • I just looked at your profile.

    I think that you're profile is fine. Online dating is hard, really hard, but it can work

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  • I think ur profile is pretty awesome! keep trying! If i was not in the relationship with man of my dreams and has comeacross u on okucoid i prob would have messaged u. but im taken now lol

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  • Are you starting conversations? that might be the issue and do you list any of your interests?

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    • Yes I start conversations. My interests are pretty clear, I'd like to meet someone where at least some of these interests overlap.

    • You could just live in an area where not many females share your interest

    • i think about that being the case a lot too unfortunately.

  • link us your profile

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    • http://www.okcupid.com/profile/mts12 haha i'm a bassist forever too

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    • how/where does it say that i hate fat people? i'm unaware.

    • in the question section
      There's at least two questions where you show that "overweight people annoy you" and "it would be a deal breaker if your potential match was even slightly overweight"

  • Online dating is tricky. It was unsuccessful for me. But I always think about create a profile again...

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What Guys Said 7

  • Well being 32 and living with your parents can be a huge turn off to girls that are shallow to that sort of things and don't try to understand your situation. The only advice I can give you is to keep looking really. I don't see any huge issues with anything about you lol except for maybe the fact you smoke pot I stoped years ago because my job drug tests and some girls could see that as a sign of immaturi. (I personally don't think that but you know how people can be)

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  • That's strange. You might have more luck on a dating website where you have to pay. I was on ok cupid and one other one and I met this girl and we banged a few times and hung out a bit bit she suddenly stopped texting me too. I think if you are hella descriptive in your profile you will have better luck. where it asks you what your good at input throwing knives because it's the only thing I'm good at and a sexy philipino hit me up and we have been hitting it off great.

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  • I mean this in the best of ways cause I know it can be hard. But your gunna have to stop being a bitch in regards to women and go into the real world to get what you want.

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    • I feel you. Please elaborate on how to "stop being a bitch in regards to women and go into the real world to get what you want"

    • How would you like me to elaborate?

  • Bro I know how you feel and trust me, it's not you. What I come to encounter is that most females say they know . What they want but in reality, they don't... they say they want a good man, decent loving caring but when you try to be that, you just get pushed away... just be patient bro... trust me I feel your pain... I did the okcupid mocospace pof tinder even tried Facebook... met a few good prospects so I'll see how that goes.

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  • People have very short attention spans these days. Keep it shorter and simpler. You are obviously a thinker, but don't go too far.

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  • If you're not 6'3, delete all of your online dating accounts

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  • You'd have to show us the dating profiles with links. That aside what exactly is your job? The median age of the women you'd run into would be about 33 so most have degrees and are not living at home and own assets which does indeed make you far less attractive thus it may not be you as a person at all and just the social outlook on the matter. That spoken for as I said we'd have to see the outlooks and prospects and what you bring to the table; many of these women will want to start families so they aren't looking for a "nice guy" in the least presuming you didn't specifically state you did not want children and they obliged knowingly.

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    • I have my degree in graphic design. i'm a graphic designer for a screen printing company, trying to leave this field to get more into a marketing/web design career. I'm taking an html/web design class next month. I had to move into my father's place a little over 1.5 years ago after experiencing the perfect storm of financial burden with high medical bills, i'm diabetic, ibs/gluten allergy, etc… I don't know/think i can post links to my profiles through here. Can i? I like kids, my niece is my favorite person, one can probably gather that from my profile; friends have told me that ladies dig that, so i don't think i give the don't-want-a-family vibe.

    • You could just post a link to that profile. I'd go from there.

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