Would friends with benefits be a good idea? Should I propose it to him?

I dated a guy for about 6 weeks things were great the first 3 weeks or so then afterwards I could feel him pulling away emotionally and I knew that as far as our compatibility went were wouldn't be right as a couple (so many moral and lifestyle differences and relationship deal breakers for me). I however, choose not to end things for 2 reasons being the sex was amazing and we had so much fun just hanging out.
The final weak I think he could sense I was restless with the situation as it wasn't going anywhere yet we had agreed to be exclusive (but not gf/bf) So we were in this kind of limbo state.
We had a big talk and he decided that although he really likes me and loves hanging out with me he's too emotionally messed up from his last relationship to let anyone in properly and can't see himself being with anyone for a while as he needs to sort his stuff out (has a heap of guilt from family stuff and I'm pretty sure he still love his ex etc.) and I couldn't see him being a right for me as far as a boyfriend would go.
We agreed to end things and try for friends.
I have just found out I got accepted into a 2 training course I've wanted for ages, the final year of which is to be completed in another state.
So i've decided to get another PT job work heaps save money whilst studying so I can move outer-state next year to finish it. This means limited time especially for an actual boyfriend.
Do you think because we have great sexual chemistry and we both know a relationship isn't what we what plus there's an expiry date to the whole situation (end of year) that a friends with benefits relationship could work?
If so, any rules or guidelines you suggest?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Once I saw "the sex was amazing and we had so much fun just hanging out." and "we were in this kind of limbo state" , that screamed friends with benefits to me. No one knows how to move forward. You have two choices, it seems things have ended, so you can either move on or go friends with benefits . which would you go with? if friends with benefits , the rules are simple. You have listed two already.
    "Friends outside closed doors, freaks behind closed doors, and should feelings arise, nothing wrong in showing it, but never talk about it"

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    • Thats what it was starting to feel like and tbh I was ok with it but the whole prospect of it leading into something (relationship) I knew I really didn't want was what was freaking me out. He instigated the ending of things which I agreed to and not to sound awful I was a bit upset a first as I knew I'd miss hanging out with him and the sex but the fact that a relationship was off the cards was a major relief and I was kind of happy.
      So maybe it is a better option. The fun and sex we were having without the pressure of trying to make a relationship form.

    • so then go ahead and suggest it.

What Girls Said 1

  • He's emotionally screwed up. Everyone knows that screwing someone just for the hell of it on a regular basis will eventually lead to someone's feelings getting involved. That won't do anything but jack him up more. If he says he isn't ready, then I think you should just respect that. There will be plenty of other guys who you'll share a great amount of sexual chemistry with.

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