I tend to give in to guys who are confident and dominant but I end up being cheated on or treated badly. Why are guys such jerks?

I met a guy was tall and strong and confident in the way he approached me and in the way he asked me out. He complimented me and made me smile and laugh. We went on a few dates and he brought me home to his place and we started making out. He raised up my shirt and told me to take it off, and told me he liked my smooth skin and my nice flat belly. He started kissing my neck and belly and I gave in. A month later I caught him talking to another woman on the phone the same way he talked to me. It was very short lived but if a guy is too soft I don't feel it.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are keeping your standards high in wanting a confident, dominant man. But you are assuming the only kind of men who portray those qualities are the loud, outgoing and player types.

    A quiet and shy guy can be confident, dominating but just not display it straight away.

    In short. Stop looking for these qualities until you actually find out the man you are with wants you for who you are and not just sex. You'll be surprised, most guys who are quiet are still confident and still want to pull the strings.

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What Guys Said 15

  • You choose guys who are more likely to be jerks. You find them attractive

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  • It's quite simple really. Confidence and dominance does not equal morality or honor. Biology causes guys to try and have sex with as many women as they can to propagate their genetic line. If you want a guy with the whole package (what I assume you would want: handsome, intelligent, athletic, dominant, confident, masculine, honorable, etc) you're going to probably have to step up your game. Guys like that are (at least somewhat) rare and they are probably going to have high standards because they are in VERY high demand.

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  • It didn't sound like you guys were exclusive or talked about it. Confident dominant guys are always going to have a few girls until monogamy is established... Also, if this has remained a problem, give guys chances tha you normally wouldn't. Stop doing the same thing expecting different results.

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  • Oh please! OH PLEASE! Dear whose bad choice was this? Typical girl. Of course you have exceptions but this doesn't surprise me. Just because you made the bad choice doesn't mean guys are jerks. Besides eves if they are jerks you choose them as they often are so that's a win for them lol.

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  • When girls like you throw themselves at guys like this, why would this guy just stay with you or any one girl? I'm not sure if you're trolling or not tbh, you then make a sexist statement calling all men jerks even though you know why you get played by men. Obviously if you fall for players they're gonna play you, and it didn't even seem like you were in a relationship with this guy at all, get real.

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  • Most of the guys that are dominant AND confident tend to think with their head. And I'm not talking bout the one that's sitting on their shoulders. Their testosterone and their reputation can boost their ego and their head and they would act like how you described. Choose wisely next time.

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  • You're just one of many girls who prefer super hot and confident guys over the less attractive shy ones. so don't be surprised when you find out that those hot guys turn out to be dipsh*ts. most hot guys are empty headed sh*theads. maybe you should lower your standards.

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  • That shouldn't be the question. The question you ought to ask is 'why do I pick shit men?'

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  • He was just a player, what is so surprising. These guys just run the same game with women because it is a recipe for success. You need to take a deeper look at these guys instead of just looking at the facade they present.

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  • Not all guys are jerks.

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  • I'm not gonna

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  • Your problem is that you don't know the difference between confident and cruel and confident and decent.

    You associate a guy who lacks confidence as being "soft", and that's fine up to a point. But you have no ability to discriminate against a guy who is confident (and knows how to use it to get what he wants, namely sex with lots of girls) and a guy who is confident but mature enough not to use that to treat women like shit.

    A guy is not a jerk for going after what he wants, and getting it. Women do the same. They just want different things. But they go after them all the same, in their own way.

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  • Many girls mistake a guy who doesn't care about people and acts like he doesn't have a care I the world as confident and dominant. They are jerks that don't care about anyone and just do what they want and don't care about the consequences since they are stupid

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  • You've just gotta find a guy who is down to earth and completely honest

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  • You're a good guy trying to make up a story trying to make confident guys look bad. This didn't happen.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Dominance doesn't equal confidence it's comoensation for feeling out of control. Confident people are able to respect other people bc they don't feel threatened by every single thing... they are assertive not aggressive.

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  • A confident guy needs a confident girl or there is no balance.

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  • It's because you went for the unafraid type of males. Ones who get any girl easily, he probably didn't cheat and already had many on the go, just how players are go for shy guys ones who care what you think of them. As players don't hence why they are comfortable in approaching, using then ditching you. Pick better :) I been there to!!

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    • My one ex sweet talked, was very confident in approaching. Wanted sex and kiss early on I refused and it ended quite fast cus I saw another girl on his phone. He was a player. I later found out he has a child also. I get what you mean they seem charming and make you think they care. Only care for themselves. An the shy ones care more but they don't show it out of fear

  • I don't understand. Did he actually cheat on you while you were in a committed relationship or was he dating multiple people at the same time, without being exclusive?

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  • Lol all guys aren't jerks, you just always go for assholes. There's a difference.

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  • You are very young, you gave in too soon. He's just a player.

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